Coffee Ale, from Boulevard and The Roasterie

The new best part of waking up.

Coffee Ale combines two of my favorite things. First, coffee, which keeps me alert and provides me with the necessary will to live. Second, beer, which makes everything better, until it suddenly makes everything sad.

A collaboration between Boulevard Brewing Company and The Roasterie, the release of Coffee Ale seems to be relatively hype free. I was in and out of Cellar Rat with a few bottles this morning, no problem. As opposed to the Great Chocolate Ale Hunt of last year, which involved showing up at Lukas Liquor at 7 a.m., and even then not being the first person in line.

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Boxer Light & American

In the fight against good taste, these beers are the champs.

I’m a Yard Beer Anthropologist. Or I would be, if that was actually a thing and not something dumb I invented to justify my weakness for trying beers I should really know better about.

The latest two are Boxer Light and American. Before I came across them in the liquor store, I’d never heard of either one, but I was intrigued by both.

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Red Balloon

You don’t have to be a regular to sing here, but it helps.

In search of some cheap eats and karaoke airtime, we did Guys’ Night at Red Balloon last month.

Alas, the karaoke was a bust. In our experience the KJ sang three out of every five numbers and called up the regulars before giving any new blood a shot. Fair enough -- your place, your rules.

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Hiland Light

‘Land, no.

How cheap is Hiland Light? It’s so cheap that even I think it’s nasty.

And seriously, at $4.99 for a 20 pack, Hiland Light may be the cheapest beer I’ve ever had. I’m pretty sure the last time I bought Meister Brau it was at least $2.89 for a sixer, and that was in the ‘90s.

I found Hiland Light at the Missouri Lukas Liquor. They had a few small sample glasses out, and it tasted fine enough to bring home for a trial run as the cheap beer of the house -- after all, at 25 cents per can compared to 48 cents for a Natural Light (case of 24 for $11.49), that’s a savings of $4.60. Or in other terms, about three Taco Bell Beefy 5-Layer Burritos.

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Natty Daddy

Bad dad.

Did you know that Natural Light is the fifth best-selling beer in the United States? It’s true, all thanks to the efforts of myself, Shaw, Dorsett and the collective buying power of the high school population of America. You’re welcome, Anheuser-Busch.

I cannot, however, say thanks back for Natty Daddy ($1.79), the latest addition to the Natural Light family. Discovered out in the wild on a Friday afternoon beer run, there was no way I could pass it up, but I so wish I had.

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Lunch Blog in the UK, Part 1: The Jack Horner

Here we go, guv’nor.

So I got to go to London the other week for my job. I believe the official reason I was selected for the trip was because my agency wanted to send our foremost expert on both Doctor Who and British Alternative Rock of the ‘80s & Early ‘90s. (Who’s got two thumbs and is totally psyched for The Stone Roses reunion next year? This guy!)

And since I was going, of course I’d have to make a point of checking out some of the native cuisine -- even though it’s frequently described as “lousy.” Before I left for my trip, I figured British food had probably just caught a bad rap. But then I saw “mushy peas” on a menu and I realized they’re not even trying to make their food sound good.

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Arrowhead Stadium Sandwich Roundup

Your source for all things Chiefs.*
*Assuming all you want to know about are the sandwiches.

McHugh was given some last-minute tickets to the Kansas City Chiefs season opener on Monday, and invited Shaw and I to join him. Despite the rain, I couldn’t have asked for a better first Arrowhead game experience. Whoever had the brilliant idea to book Train to play at halftime and secure victory by boring the San Diego Chargers into submission deserves a raise. That was diabolical.

Plus, making their Arrowhead debut tonight were some new concessions that we absolutely had to try. Here’s what we had, along with an evaluation of each item’s value, keeping in mind that everything at Arrowhead costs twice as much as it should -- $7.75 Miller Lites, anyone?


Bratwurst Burger from The Burger Box by Blanc
It’s a bratwurst patty, topped with jalapenos and melty cheddar on a pretzel bun. Taking nearly everything good about tailgating and fancying it up, this was easily the winner out of tonight’s selections. We paid $9. Is it worth $4.50? Considering Blanc’s usual prices, $9 seems about right.


Red & Gold Short Rib Melt from Tailgaters Grill
By themselves, the pulled short ribs on this sandwich were tender and tasty. However, they got lost in a cheese overload with all that white American and Havarti, not to mention the two thick slices of Parmesan-crusted toast. We paid $11. Is it worth $5.50? More like $3. This sandwich is an intriguing idea, but ultimately comes off as just a glorified grilled cheese.


KC Burnt Ends Cheesesteak from Blaze Burgers & Fries
There was a clear difference between the sandwich pictured and the sandwich we got, but knowing that’s just the rule with food photography, I kept thinking the next bite would be where I found some peppers and onions. Alas, it turned out what we’d been given was simply a burnt end sandwich with cheese -- although McHugh got one from a different Blaze Burgers stand that he said was loaded with toppings. We paid $8.50. Is it worth $4.25? Even without the fixings, it was a passable foodservice barbecue sandwich. But I still want that cheesesteak in the picture.

It was very cool to check out the newly renovated Arrowhead. While I’m not a big sports fan aside from college basketball, I love people-watching and tailgating. I’d only been here one other time, for U2 on the Zoo TV tour in 1992.

The Sugarcubes opened that show, and I actually got to meet Bjork. During the set by the other opening act, The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, she was watching from out in the audience so I wandered over to introduce myself. I’m sure Bjork would remember. Just ask her about that ultrasuave, short teenager in Kansas City who smelled faintly of Viaka vodka.

Robert & Kelly Go to St. Louis (Part 2)

Spuds MacKenzie, you are sorely missed.

Anheuser-Busch Brewery

When we started planning our trip to St. Louis, we thought about going to a museum. However, we ultimately decided to take a tour of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery instead. It’s kind of like a museum, just all about Anheuser-Busch. Plus, free beer. And free beer usually wins.

We arrived at the brewery, signed up for the tour, and began making our way around the lobby to check out all the exhibits detailing the history of Anheuser-Busch. Not that much later, our group was called and we were introduced to our two tour guides. One was the Anheuser-Busch equivalent of NBC’s Kenneth Parcell on 30 Rock, so pure and wide-eyed was his devotion to all things Budweiser. The other one reminded me of Scut Farkus from "A Christmas Story," if Scut Farkus thought he was too cool for school and wore clothes mostly from REI. He didn’t even have on any Anheuser-Busch flair, and thus gets a big zero for effort.

Kenneth and Scut walked us through the grounds of the brewery, which is about the size of a small city. They showed us the Clydesdales, the big tanks of beer, the mash room and all that. While we were looking at the bottling line, Kelly wondered if they ever pulled a Laverne & Shirley, putting a glove on a bottle and waving goodbye as it’s spirited off.

Later in the tour, Kenneth schooled us on Renard the Fox, spokesperson for Bevo, the near beer that Anheuser-Busch sold during prohibition. Renard is a very dapper fox that is frequently depicted munching on a chicken leg with a mug of Bevo at the ready. Needless to say, that is one sly fox I want to hang out with.

Doubting the rest of our tour group was as interested in Natural Light as me, I caught up to Kenneth in between his spiels, and he was totally willing to answer some questions. First and foremost I wanted to know, “How close am I right this very second to fresh Natural Light?"

“About as close as you can get,” Kenneth replied without hesitation. His gusto rivaled that of only Lunch Blog’s friend Dorsett, a man internationally recognized as Natural Light’s #1 enthusiast.

We also learned from Kenneth that because Bud Light is brewed with rice and Natural Light is brewed with corn, if the price of corn and rice were ever to flip-flop, then Natural Light would become Anheuser-Busch’s premium light beer. (I thought that was reasonably intriguing enough to share.)

Kenneth couldn’t tell me jack squat about Anheuser-Busch’s malt liquor products.

When the tour was over, we were led to the hospitality room for our two complimentary beers apiece. I stuck to Budweiser, and Kelly had a Bud Light Golden Wheat followed by a Stella Artois. Meanwhile, our tourmates the Lady Mavs, whose college affiliation and sport was unknown, were settling for sodas.

As we enjoyed our beers, we tried to figure out why these girls who were clearly under 21 had chosen to go to a brewery for their Saturday morning entertainment. One suggestion was that maybe they wanted to see the Clydesdales because the Lady Mavs are a polo team, but that theory was quickly discarded. Kelly and I noticed a couple of the Lady Mavs not too inconspicuously grooving on Scut Farkus, although I’m not sure Scut Farkus did.

On our way back to the car, we stopped for a snack at Gus’ Pretzels, which I found disappointingly unremarkable. Then it was off to visit the Gateway Arch.

Gateway Arch Marketing Team, here is a gimmick for you: As mentioned above, you get free beer at the end of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery tour. When people come down from the top of the Arch, why not give them a free Arch Deluxe?

Just think about it.

Next Time on Lunch Blog: A couple of nice glasses of wine at dinner. A couple of Gin & Squirts at a dive bar after.

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Anheuser-Busch Brewery: 12th & Lynch Streets | St. Louis, MO 63118

Gus’ Pretzels: 1820 Arsenal | St. Louis, MO 63118

Robert & Kelly Go to St. Louis (Part 1)

A city blessed so abundantly with White Castles. Can't they spare us just one?

Kelly and I had been feeling the need to get out of town for awhile, so when we had our first open weekend in forever, we decided to take a road trip to St. Louis. I figured we could stop at White Castle, tour a brewery, stop at White Castle, check out the Gateway Arch, stop at White Castle and so forth.

After careful negotiation it was decided that we would stop at White Castle exactly once. Rather, among other things, we'd get some crepes downtown and visit The Hill for Italian food. So we dropped off the kiddo, gassed up the car, grabbed a couple of QuikTrip taquitos -- and we were off.

Pi Pizzeria

Kelly found this place while doing some online recon before we left KC, and noting that it's a favorite of the Obamas, we made Pi Pizzeria our Friday night destination.

The hostess told us it would be an hour before we were seated, so we stepped up to the bar to get beers. Seeing as how we were in St. Louis, we each chose a selection from Schlafly -- Kelly got the Pale Ale, and I opted for the Saison. While I was standing at the bar, I heard Schlafly pronounced three distinctly different ways: Shay-flee, Shaf-lee, and Shuh-laugh-lee.

Since it was a nice night, we sat down at one of the tables outside on the sidewalk. There we started to notice that everybody in St. Louis looks vaguely familiar. Not like people we used to know or anything -- just people we'd seen around in various locales. Like those random people you've got a few of the same classes with in college but never talk to, or are always at the same shows you're at.

The pizza was totally worth the wait. We ordered the Chicago-style deep-dish South Side Classico pie, subbing in green olives and black olives for green pepper and onions. Made with cornmeal, the crust was super-chewy on the bottom, but had a nice crunch at the top of the edges.

You can't tell how delicious it was from this picture. We were at a table near the back of the restaurant, so in deference to our fellow diners I turned my camera's flash off, and the resulting photo came out so bad you can barely even tell it's pizza. People try to pass off pictures of Bigfoot that are clearer than this.

There's a sign at Pi that says Provel and has a circle and a slash drawn through it. I know I'm in the minority of people that like St. Louis-style pizza, but I was surprised to find out that apparently even the people in St. Louis don't seem to care for it all that much.

Benton Park Cafe

Saturday morning, I checked out Urbanspoon to find someplace to go for breakfast, and was immediately intrigued by Benton Park Cafe for two reasons. First, beer biscuits. Second, breakfast pizza. Plus, it's totally within walking distance of the Anheuser-Busch brewery, which we were planning to tour that afternoon.

We looked over the menu in greater detail once we got there, and despite some good looking omelettes, we stuck with ordering the Classic Pizza and beer biscuits and gravy. I will mention that Benton Park Cafe also offers a knife and fork pancake sandwich called McGrittl This, and I'm fairly certain that name isn't legally sound.

I'm glad to confirm that both our breakfast choices were winners. The beer bread flavor of the biscuits was excellent, and the gravy was unexpectedly spicy. The Classic Pizza comes topped with egg, mushroom, onion, tomato, bacon and cheese -- and it marked the second killer crust we got in St. Louis.

Kelly was such a fan of the crust that she started trying to figure out the recipe. She asked what was in it, and while all our server could tell us was that garlic salt somehow factored in and the crust is stuffed with cheese, Kelly did some online sleuthing and found this once we got back to KC.

Didn't even occur to us that the pizza would be a full-size pie, thus easily serving two, but it was and along with the biscuits and gravy we had way too much food. That said, no edges of the pizza's crust were left behind.

When our server dropped off our bill, she also asked me if I wanted a to-go cup for my coffee. Attention all breakfast places: This practice is now mandatory, and your compliance is appreciated.

Next Time on Lunch Blog: On to the Anheuser-Busch brewery. There were college kids there, so it must be educational.

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Pi Pizzeria: 6144 Delmar Boulevard | St. Louis MO 63112

Benton Park Cafe: 1900 Arsenal Street | St. Louis MO 63118

Blame It On Cain’s (Tulsa Road Trip 9/09, Part 2)

Despite the events below, we swear we really do like to drink good beer sometimes.

Cain’s Ballroom

Shaw: One of the best parts of Cain’s is that they’ll sell you Budwesier a six-pack at a time, plastic rings and all. We walked in and headed straight to the bar to pick a few up.

Good thing, too. The lady working the line told us they only had five six-packs left, so the four of us each bought one. And then just to be safe, we went back and got the last one a couple of minutes later.

Robert: Not only does having a six-pack at the ready mean you don’t have to go back to the bar and miss part of the show, but I imagine this is what it must feel like to walk around a ‘70s beer bust barn party.

Tonight was Elvis Costello’s last night on tour for his country album, Secret, Profane & Sugarcane. The ex-Angry Young Man played a lot of songs from that, as well as treated us to Americana takes on favorites like “Mystery Dance,” “Everyday I Write the Book,” and, of course, “Blame It On Cain.” It was a pretty fantastic show, and “The Carnegie Hall of Western Swing” was the perfect venue for it.

Shaw: With a band that included two guitars, an accordion, stand-up bass, dobro and fiddle, it was like hearing a country-flavored Elvis Costello cover band with the real Elvis Costello singing. Different, but incredible.

Rocking a purple fedora, Mr. Costello looked very dapper -- though at one point, the green cast of the lights plus his hat and the thick frames of his glasses made him look like the Riddler.

Robert: Maybe Elvis Costello really is an International Art Thief after all.

The Soundpony

Shaw: After the show, we decided to grab a quick beer at the next door to regroup and figure out where we should go from there. However, since The Soundpony had $1.50 Natural Light draws and some old school video games, we ended up staying awhile.

Robert: I took honors on Ms. Pac-Man and Moon Patrol, and Ryan dominated us all at Galaga. The Soundpony also has a Donkey Kong machine that even features the option to play the rare Donkey Kong 3.

Jeff, Ryan, Jeremy and I came here when we went to Cain’s to see Wilco last year, stopping in during happy hour, which lasts from 3 to 9 p.m and includes a free hot dog for every $4 you spend. That’s right -- a six-hour happy hour with free hot dogs. KC bars, please take note.

Shaw: The Soundpony is a cool bar. But man, that is a truly awful name.

I'll also give cheers to the music selection, but jeers to the bartenders who used the microphone behind the bar to subject everyone to their painful vocal accompaniment.

QuikTrip

Shaw: We left The Soundpony to go wander around downtown and look for some more substantial eats. But as it was after midnight and most places had stopped serving, we ended up calling a taxi to take us back to the QuikTrip by our hotel.

Robert: Ah, QT -- land of delicious roller-grilled foods. I got a burrito and a chili cheese taquito dog. Seriously, they’ve got to be just spinning a Wheel of Random Ingredients to concoct these new cylindrical delights.

Shaw: I stayed on the less adventurous end with two hot dogs for $2 and a 99¢ bag of Fritos. Without the availability of Chicago dog fixings or sauerkraut, the only proper way for me to have my hot dogs was with mustard and relish. No ketchup shall defile my hot dogs. Nor shall catsup, for all the Hunt’s fans out there.

Robert: I was a little disappointed there wasn’t even a single egg roll to be found on the grills, though. I do love some late-night Chinese food.

Next time on Lunch Blog: What does it take to get a Whatafarm in Tulsa?

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Cain’s Ballroom: 423 North Main Street | Tulsa, OK 74103

The Soundpony: 409 North Main Street | Tulsa, OK 74103

QuikTrip: 229 North Gilcrease Museum Road | Tulsa, OK 74127

Blame It On Cain's (Tulsa Road Trip 9/09, Part 1)

For the record, when listening to Sirius XM's Hair Nation, Jeff can name that tune in four notes or less.

We’d been counting down the minutes to this road trip since May, when Jeff and Ryan told us that Elvis Costello was going to be playing Cain’s Ballroom in September. First stop -- meeting up with the Brothers Pfannenstiel in Topeka.

Taco Tico

Robert: We decided to rendezvous here so we could grab a little bit of lunch. Plus, I’ll take just about any chance I can to get a Taco Tico combo burrito. We also each got a soft flour taco and a crispy flour taco.

Shaw: As soon as I bit into my crispy flour taco, it shattered and sent half the contents falling onto the tray. So basically I started out with a taco and ended up with nachos.

I will say this -- Taco Tico’s sauce bar is pretty fantastic. In order of ascending heat, they’ve got Mild, Green Chile, Hot and Volcano. My favorite is the green chile.

Robert: Please note that Taco Tico’s Volcano Sauce is not to be confused with Taco Bell’s cheese-based Lava Sauce -- even though Volcano Sauce looks more like actual lava than Lava Sauce does. Mind-bending.

The Hunt Club

Shaw: Once we got to Tulsa we checked into the hotel and enjoyed a couple of bottles of Jeff and Ryan’s awesome homebrewed IPA. Then we caught a taxi downtown to The Hunt Club to get some dinner. We’d found out about The Hunt Club on the Cain’s website, and it’s just down the street from Cain’s itself.

Robert: Some Juggalos were milling around the storefront next door, which seemed kind of weird since Insane Clown Posse doesn’t play Cain’s until October.

Shaw: Anyway, we went inside and The Hunt Club turned out to be a cozy little place. Lots of taxidermy on the wall. Our server came over and told us the special was $1 Busch and $1 Choc Beer Waving Wheat.

Robert: Having never heard of Waving Wheat, we asked our server for the scoop. All she could tell us was that it was only a buck because they were, and I quote, “Trying to get rid of it.” So we ordered four Buschs.

Shaw: Checking out the menu, we decided to get a couple of orders of queso sliders and fries, plus a dozen tequila lime wings. We took it as a bold statement that The Hunt Club doesn’t even offer a buffalo option.

Robert: We also ordered another round of beers, but there were only two Buschs left in The Hunt Club, so Ryan and I sucked it up and got Waving Wheats. Turned out to be not half-bad. Kind of spicy.

Couldn’t figure out what was going on in the picture on the label, though. It looked like it was the PC guy from the “I’m a Mac” commercials lost in drunken admiration of his beer, while his Native American traveling companion stood nearby, apparently wearing a straitjacket.

Shaw: Other possible scenarios -- the PC guy is attempting to hide the Native American from a bloodthirsty posse by dressing him in drag.

That’s actually his withered mother, and she’s clearly annoyed with her son's love of beer over the ladies.

Or maybe that’s his wife, sneering disdainfully as he indulges in his only cheerful escape from a loveless, wind-swept prairie marriage.

Robert: Then we actually read the label and found out it was a guy named Pete who was down on his luck and decided to start brewing beer using a recipe borrowed from the local Native American tribe, the Choctaw. Interestingly, I think that’s how Jeff and Ryan got started brewing, too.

Shaw: I like my theories better.

Robert: Our food came out, and for the most part it was fairly blah. The menu said the tequila lime wings were baked, so it wasn’t that I was expecting them to be fried, but they didn’t taste much better than the frozen kind you can get at the grocery store. The fries, also baked, were soggy at best.

Shaw: I can’t for the life of me figure out why The Hunt Club doesn’t have a fryer. Surely it’s not due to health reasons, since the queso sliders are just on the right side of being o-slathered in spicy, cheesy goodness -- making them unsurprisingly the best part of the meal. Really wish I’d tried the Frito Pie.

While we were there, one of the Juggalos came inside and announced, “We mean you no harm,” and did a quick sweep of the bar before leaving.

Robert: Watch out, Juggalos -- next thing you know, you might end up stuffed and mounted on The Hunt Club’s walls.

Next time on Lunch Blog: Elvis Costello, old school video games, and rolling food.

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Taco Tico:

3200 SW Topeka Boulevard | Topeka, KS 66611

The Hunt Club:

224 North Main | Tulsa, OK 74103

The Penguin (Shaw Goes to Charlotte, Part 1)

To enjoy this post Southern Style, top monitor with chili and cole slaw.

Thanks to a public Facebook shaming about how I never visit, I finally made plans to go and see my good friends Chris and Michelle and their kids Nora and Hank on their home turf of Charlotte, NC. Of course, while I was there I had to check out some of Charlotte’s finest grub -- #1 on my list being The Penguin. Not only is it the top ranked restaurant on Urbanspoon, but it came with a strong recommendation from Chris and Michelle, too.

The Penguin is notably small, with four booths, six tables and about 15 or so stools for lunch and side counter seating. Combine that with the popularity of the establishment and you’ve got yourself a bit of a wait. Everybody from the staff to the patrons handles this in stride, though. No exasperated sighs or snarky comments -- the wait is just part of the experience.

Once we finally got seated, we ordered drinks and hot dogs for Nora and Hank, and then Chris, Michelle and I started drawing up our battle plans. So we could sample a variety of stuff, we settled on splitting fried pickles (half-order for $3.25), buffalo wings ($6.75), and a Small Block Burger topped Southern Style with chili, mustard, onions and cole slaw ($3.25). At Chris and Michelle’s urging, I also had to try the famous Winky-Dinky Dog -- a hot dog loaded with pimento cheese and chili ($2.75).

I’ve had fried pickles before in Kansas City. First, years ago at BJ’s Lounge (now the Lava Room) where they were spear-cut and reminded me of overcooked bananas. The second time was the other week at Tomfooleries, where they were served with an overly thick, bready battered coating. The fried pickles at The Penguin were a completely new and utterly tasty experience.

At The Penguin, the pickles are cut into chips and dipped in a kind of light, flaky batter that made me think of a fish fry. On their own, these fried pickles are tangy and almost buttery without being too greasy. Dip ‘em in a little ranch, and you take it to a whole new level.

The Winky-Dinky Dog was also a new experience, although at first I didn’t think it was going to be a pleasant one. The first couple bites grossed me out a bit, registering as salty, squishy and distinctively processed. Somehow by the end I was convinced it was awesome.

Less impressive but still good, the Southern Style Small Block Burger represented itself well. However, the wings proved to be just okay. The buffalo sauce struck me as spicy without a lot of flavor and almost watery.

The price is definitely right at The Penguin, and the menu is filled with all kinds of national and local diner favorites. With a few brews in me, I could see myself making lots of deliciously bad decisions there. But I don’t care if they are just chicken tenders -- I’m not eating anything called “Penguin Fingers.”

Next time on Lunch Blog: My trip to Charlotte concludes with Fuel Pizza and Price’s Chicken Coop.
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1921 Commonwealth Ave | Charlotte, NC 28205

Fuddruckers

A new Guys' Night record for farthest fall in quality between where we intended to go and where we ended up.

Shaw: Believe it or not, your Lunch Bloggers don't stick exclusively to dives, and for Guys' Night we decided to check out the specials on the bar menu at Sullivan's. Little did we know how hopping Sullivan's would be around 7:00 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

Robert: I swear the last time I was at Sullivan's it was pretty quiet. Now that I think about it, though, that was in the dead of winter. Tonight it was nice out and the windows to the patio were open and everything. When we arrived, there was a bachelorette party piling into a limo, after getting a head start on the night.

Bamf! Next thing I know, we're at Fuddruckers. I have no idea how that happened.

Shaw: We were somewhat dazed after finding Sullivan's packed to the gills. Facing such disappointment, we just halfheartedly threw out suggestions. Nothing sounded as good as the bleu cheese chips we were missing out on. Fuddruckers popped into my head -- I can't believe you and Dorsett went for it.

I walked into Fuddruckers expecting a T.G.I. McGillicutty's-type operation, but was completely thrown by the butcher shop and walk-up order counter. I ended up getting a Fudds Meal Deal with a 1/2 lb. original burger, adding on cheddar cheese ($9.54).

Robert: For a second, I thought about getting the sliders version of the Fudds Meal Deal, but it felt disrespectful to the memory of the White Castle that used to be nearby. Besides, tiny burgers aren't what Fuddruckers is all about. I got a Fudds Meal Deal with a 1/2 lb. burger fixed up with "The Works." That's code for smokehouse bacon, grilled onions and American cheese ($10.79).

Fudds Meal Deals come with a beer, too. I am 100 percent in favor of meal deals that come with a beer. You also get Fudd fries, which made me think of Duff Beer's chief competitor Fudd Beer, which made me wonder how similar Fuddruckers and Krusty Burger might be.

Shaw: The tomatoes, onions, pickles and everything else on the topping bar looked fresh enough. However, I started to feel like a sucker for coughing up the extra 99¢ for cheese when I saw there was cheese sauce on the topping bar for free. Then I tried the cheese sauce on one of my Fudd fries. Turns out it doesn't taste like cheese so much as it tastes like viscous.

Robert: They also have jalapeno cheese sauce, which tastes like viscous, but with a kick.

Shaw: There's a weird atmosphere going on at Fuddruckers. Odd assortment of video and prize games? Check. Bathrooms that look like they were lifted from an old AMC theater? Check. Old photos of rock icons including The Beatles, Elvis and Jim Morrison -- not all intermingled, but in separate, carefully organized sections? Check, with a side of OCD.

Robert: Fuddruckers is like a run-down amusement park -- a place that should be fun but is now permeated with sadness. Before you even get to take a bite, the remorse sets in while you wait for your food.

Shaw: It's as if Fuddruckers is a weird combination of other places. Maybe a TGI-Kingy-Cheese or a Chili-Donalds. With the outdated video games, excessive use of mirrors and extremely organized CCOTW, I'd expect to find Fuddruckers all over Canada.

Robert: Canada?

Shaw: Canada. I wonder if the burgers are part moose meat.

Robert: I'm fairly certain it's just ground beef. I don't think they actually eat moose in Canada.

Shaw: Have you ever been to Canada?

Robert: No. Whatever. Here's the goofy thing -- Fuddruckers is crazy depressing, but my burger wasn't half bad.

Shaw: Not goofy at all. I'd agree -- these guys know what they're doing in the burger department. The Fudd fries are pretty good, too, even if they are heavily seasoned. Plus, the staff and manager seemed really nice, and genuinely interested in making sure you enjoy your Fuddruckers experience.

Again, I suspect Canadian influence.

For the record, according to Wikipedia, Fuddruckers is based in Austin, Tex. I don't know what Shaw's deal with Canada is. --Robert

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8725 Metcalf | Overland Park, KS 66212