Taco Bell Breakfast

I have run for the border in the cold, harsh light of morning.

From whomever’s mind sprung forth the Waffle Taco, I would like to shake what I’m guessing is your sticky, syrupy hand.

Ever since my friend Josh and I heard about it, we’d been jonesing to try one. We were deep into planning a road trip to a Taco Bell breakfast menu test location when the news hit — First Meal was rolling out nationwide on March 27, 2014.

And that is how Josh and I ended up at Taco Bell at sunrise on a Thursday. 

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Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Taco

The heat is on for the DLT threequel.

As much as we love Taco Bell, it pains us to admit we were rather ambivalent to hear about the new Fiery Doritos Locos Taco ($1.39).

For one thing, we’ve never had the Flamas Doritos we’re told the shell of this taco is based on. Neither one of your Lunch Bloggers have bought Doritos with any regularity since college, and back then there were only two kinds -- regular Nacho Cheese and the girl flavor, Cool Ranch.

Plus, we’re skeptical about any fast food menu items that claim to be spicy, because they never are. We haven’t even mentioned yet this is the third Doritos Locos Taco the 'Bell has come up with, and threequels always blow.

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Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco

Old Man Hidden Valley must be spinning in his grave.

Taco Bell announced on Monday that its Facebook fans could get the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco a day early. As we at Lunch Blog firmly believe in always living mas, we were happy to take them up on this exclusive offer. Besides, we didn’t want Taco Bell’s feelings to get hurt if none of its other 9,875,766 fans showed up.

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Red Balloon

You don’t have to be a regular to sing here, but it helps.

In search of some cheap eats and karaoke airtime, we did Guys’ Night at Red Balloon last month.

Alas, the karaoke was a bust. In our experience the KJ sang three out of every five numbers and called up the regulars before giving any new blood a shot. Fair enough -- your place, your rules.

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Los Tules

Loosely translated, “Lost tools.” (I know roughly enough Spanish to get me stabbed in Mexico.)

What’s better than a happy hour with $1 tacos? A happy hour with $1 tacos that’s four hours long. Welcome to Los Tules, Mondays through Wednesdays from 4 to 8 p.m.

These are seriously awesome tacos, too. They’re fried-shut corn tortillas filled with ground beef, then garnished with a ton of cheese and lettuce. For maximum cheese delivery, turn your taco parallel to the ground and eat it like a stuffed nacho. Never let cheese go to waste.

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The Atacolypse

I love the smell of tacos in the morning.

Five contenders. All-you-can-eat tacos at Thirsty’s Cantina. One sweet championship belt. The Atacolypse went down last week, and it was not pretty.

It all started as an offhanded challenge to my co-worker Josh that I could eat more of the street tacos at Rico’s Tacos Lupe than him, but the battle quickly escalated. Scot, Leisha and Erick wanted in on the action, and we set the date for Tuesday, April 26, 2011.

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Taco Factory

Proceed With Caution: You Are Entering a Hard Shell Area.

First things first, if you’re expecting Taco Factory to be a place like where you step up to the counter to order and then a foreman pulls a giant lever and the gears start grinding on some kind of automaton -- a tacomaton, if you will -- which then cranks out your food, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. I know this, because despite the illustration on the wall, I could totally see into the kitchen where a couple of guys were clearly making my tacos by hand. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Since Kansas City Lunch Spots already posted a fairly comprehensive review of Taco Factory, I wasn’t actually planning on writing about it when I stopped in with Shaw and McHugh. Especially since The DLC called it “a middle of the road, cheapish whitey taco place that caters to boring people and drunks.” Still, we needed something relatively quick, and Taco Factory was on our way to play some cards at Dave’s house.

I ordered three soft baja tacos -- shredded beef, shredded pork and tempura fish (all tacos are $1.99 each). Once you place your order, you take a seat and wait for your number to appear on a monitor. It kind of feels like playing Keno, or at least it does to me, keeping in mind I’ve got a strange inability to comprehend how Keno works no matter how many times people have tried to explain it.

My number came up, and I got my tacos from the kitchen window. While the tacos here are no means authentic, I’m glad to report that I thought they were pretty delicious. The beef and pork were both well seasoned and juicy, and the batter on the fish was just light enough to give the taco a satisfying internal crunch without being too heavy.

Standard toppings include lettuce, tomatoes, Monterey Jack, cilantro, red cabbage, feta and aioli sauce. It was the feta and aioli sauce that really did it for me. Alas, the hot salsa my tacos were served with had zero heat, although the aioli sauce was so good it rendered the salsa a moot point anyway.

Tacos are available either soft or crispy, and the other filling options are ground beef, chicken, ground turkey and grilled veggie. You can also get a taco plate with two tacos plus rice and beans ($5.99), but I didn’t do that, because I will go with a third taco over rice and beans any day of the week.

We split an order of chips and salsa ($2.29), as well. Again, the salsa didn’t register, but the chips were good -- not too thick and not too thin. Shaw got his tacos crispy, and said he would’ve preferred a thinner shell that was more like the chips.

Outside of tacos, Taco Factory’s menu has burritos, quesadillas, salads and more with the same filling options. Bucking convention, McHugh got a burrito ($5.49-$5.99, depending on filling). I was impressed with the robotic precision of the queso application. Maybe instead of being an automated taco factory, this place is run by taco-making cyborgs.

Another difference between Taco Factory and actual factories is that it’s super bright in here -- and if I’ve learned anything from industrial films and various propaganda, it’s that factories are soul-crushingly dank. Taco Factory is so open and well lit, it’s almost like you’re on the set of The Max.

All in all, Taco Factory is a good bet for a quick bite. And for dessert they’ve got Choco Tacos ($2.79), which I’ve always thought are awesome. I’m glad I resisted the temptation to get one tonight, however, because we stopped at QuikTrip later and I saw they’ve got Choco Tacos for $1 less. But perhaps I shouldn’t mention that -- I don’t want the Waldo Taco Cyborg Labor Union coming after me.
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7439 Broadway | Waldo, MO 64114

Los Corrals

Next door to The Peanut. Which is why I've never been before.

Years. It’s taken years for me to finally check out Los Corrals, because every time I intended to go I'd stop one storefront short, getting lured in by The Peanut and its promise of delicious bar food and sketchy service. Trust me, if you don’t have your heart 100% set on Mexican, it's easy to get caught in The Peanut's siren song.

This time, backed up by some encouraging reviews and a desire to blaze new ground, I joined fellow lunchophiles Caitlin and Wells for our inaugural Los Corrals visit. But just to be safe, we approached from the east to avoid any last-minute temptation from its neighbor.

My buddies went inside as I snapped a photo, and had already been seated when I entered the modest lobby. Trekking forward into the restaurant to look for them, I noticed that Los Corrals appears to infinitely expand into a series of increasingly larger dining rooms.

At last I found my group in the third room, although I couldn't help but wonder how much further Los Corrals went back. Like if deep within the catacombs, there's a Grail knight patiently awaiting his taco platter.

Service is fast here, and soon we were munching on the complimentary chips and salsa, with an order of cheese dip on the way. The chips are deep yellow and thicker than most, and they carry an almost meaty taste, which I can only guess is infused from being fried with the tacos and whatnot. Wells was a big fan, but both Caitlin and I were less enthusiastic. She thought they were overcooked and I was put off by the over-crunchiness that makes them hard to bite into. The cheese dip was fine, just unremarkable.

Speaking of cheese, they really load you up -- and it’s more of a Velveetaish consistency. Good in moderation. Much less so in excess.

We ordered right down the dinner combo plate menu 1-2-3, each option coming in under $8. Wells went with the two taco and two enchilada combo, and Caitlin with the taco, enchilada, soupy beans and rice plate. I liked the sound of the taco, enchilada, quesadilla and chalupa plate -- seemed like it would be a huge bargain and a chance to try a good variety.

How disappointed I was when I found out that the difference between a quesadilla and a chalupa is that the oversized corn nacho gets splashed with cheese dip rather than a layer of beans and lettuce. The enchilada was alright. However, the entire plate was redeemed by the taco.

I wasn’t expecting much, but when I took a bite, I had to pause and look for the cheese dip I could have sworn I was tasting in there. Nope, it was just beef -- fantastically greasy beef with great sauce snuggled up in a crispy shell. If I go back, I’m getting all tacos.

In fact, this experience opened me up to making tacos my usual at various other Mexican restaurants, instead of my standard go-to of enchiladas. I've yet to find one with the delicious initial impact of Los Corrals, but rest assured, I’ll keep looking.
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409 West 9th Street | Kansas City, MO 64105

Blame It On Cain's (Tulsa Road Trip 9/09, Part 1)

For the record, when listening to Sirius XM's Hair Nation, Jeff can name that tune in four notes or less.

We’d been counting down the minutes to this road trip since May, when Jeff and Ryan told us that Elvis Costello was going to be playing Cain’s Ballroom in September. First stop -- meeting up with the Brothers Pfannenstiel in Topeka.

Taco Tico

Robert: We decided to rendezvous here so we could grab a little bit of lunch. Plus, I’ll take just about any chance I can to get a Taco Tico combo burrito. We also each got a soft flour taco and a crispy flour taco.

Shaw: As soon as I bit into my crispy flour taco, it shattered and sent half the contents falling onto the tray. So basically I started out with a taco and ended up with nachos.

I will say this -- Taco Tico’s sauce bar is pretty fantastic. In order of ascending heat, they’ve got Mild, Green Chile, Hot and Volcano. My favorite is the green chile.

Robert: Please note that Taco Tico’s Volcano Sauce is not to be confused with Taco Bell’s cheese-based Lava Sauce -- even though Volcano Sauce looks more like actual lava than Lava Sauce does. Mind-bending.

The Hunt Club

Shaw: Once we got to Tulsa we checked into the hotel and enjoyed a couple of bottles of Jeff and Ryan’s awesome homebrewed IPA. Then we caught a taxi downtown to The Hunt Club to get some dinner. We’d found out about The Hunt Club on the Cain’s website, and it’s just down the street from Cain’s itself.

Robert: Some Juggalos were milling around the storefront next door, which seemed kind of weird since Insane Clown Posse doesn’t play Cain’s until October.

Shaw: Anyway, we went inside and The Hunt Club turned out to be a cozy little place. Lots of taxidermy on the wall. Our server came over and told us the special was $1 Busch and $1 Choc Beer Waving Wheat.

Robert: Having never heard of Waving Wheat, we asked our server for the scoop. All she could tell us was that it was only a buck because they were, and I quote, “Trying to get rid of it.” So we ordered four Buschs.

Shaw: Checking out the menu, we decided to get a couple of orders of queso sliders and fries, plus a dozen tequila lime wings. We took it as a bold statement that The Hunt Club doesn’t even offer a buffalo option.

Robert: We also ordered another round of beers, but there were only two Buschs left in The Hunt Club, so Ryan and I sucked it up and got Waving Wheats. Turned out to be not half-bad. Kind of spicy.

Couldn’t figure out what was going on in the picture on the label, though. It looked like it was the PC guy from the “I’m a Mac” commercials lost in drunken admiration of his beer, while his Native American traveling companion stood nearby, apparently wearing a straitjacket.

Shaw: Other possible scenarios -- the PC guy is attempting to hide the Native American from a bloodthirsty posse by dressing him in drag.

That’s actually his withered mother, and she’s clearly annoyed with her son's love of beer over the ladies.

Or maybe that’s his wife, sneering disdainfully as he indulges in his only cheerful escape from a loveless, wind-swept prairie marriage.

Robert: Then we actually read the label and found out it was a guy named Pete who was down on his luck and decided to start brewing beer using a recipe borrowed from the local Native American tribe, the Choctaw. Interestingly, I think that’s how Jeff and Ryan got started brewing, too.

Shaw: I like my theories better.

Robert: Our food came out, and for the most part it was fairly blah. The menu said the tequila lime wings were baked, so it wasn’t that I was expecting them to be fried, but they didn’t taste much better than the frozen kind you can get at the grocery store. The fries, also baked, were soggy at best.

Shaw: I can’t for the life of me figure out why The Hunt Club doesn’t have a fryer. Surely it’s not due to health reasons, since the queso sliders are just on the right side of being o-slathered in spicy, cheesy goodness -- making them unsurprisingly the best part of the meal. Really wish I’d tried the Frito Pie.

While we were there, one of the Juggalos came inside and announced, “We mean you no harm,” and did a quick sweep of the bar before leaving.

Robert: Watch out, Juggalos -- next thing you know, you might end up stuffed and mounted on The Hunt Club’s walls.

Next time on Lunch Blog: Elvis Costello, old school video games, and rolling food.

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Taco Tico:

3200 SW Topeka Boulevard | Topeka, KS 66611

The Hunt Club:

224 North Main | Tulsa, OK 74103

NCAA Opening Round Munchies: Sprint Center 1/2 Lb. KC BBQ Dog + Grinders Tacos

March Madness -- it’s not always pretty.

Went to the first day of the 2009 NCAA Tournament's opening round at the Sprint Center with some friends on Thursday, and grabbed lunch while I was there. Now I don’t know for sure that during the construction of the Sprint Center there was an ongoing top-secret development process underway to create a signature Kansas City-related menu item, but I like to think there was. And whoever said “let’s just throw some brisket on an unnecessarily large hot dog” deserves a raise.

The 1/2 Lb. KC BBQ Dog is a ridiculously huge all beef hot dog, topped with brisket plus onion straws and “famous” barbecue sauce. About the only thing that could make it more Kansas City is if the sauce was from Arthur Bryant’s or Gates or one of the other estimated 17 gazillion barbecue joints here in town, rather than being a sauce vaguely called “famous.” Which I’m pretty sure is code for “we buy it by the vatful.” Keeping in mind that arena food is always overpriced, at $8 I don’t feel like I got fleeced too bad, either. Not so much with my $4 soda.

Between sessions we went to Grinders, and I got the Thursday special of three for a dollar tacos. I knew they’d be fantastic when the waitress told me they were taking a while because they were “still on the grill.” Grilled tacos!

Sure enough, they were way delicious. Even though the tacos are grilled, they actually come out pretty soft, filled with seasoned taco meat and melted cheese -- picture a floppy quesadilla. This is about the closest I’ve come to Amigos soft tacos since that outfit closed up shop around here.

Finally, here is some expert Lunch Blog tournament commentary -- and by “expert,” we mean it’s all about the mascots and pep bands.

• There was no way the Maryland Terrapins weren’t going to win -- they had turtle power! Seriously, Testudo the Diamondback Turtle busted out some sweet moves every time the pep band played the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” theme. Meanwhile, the California Golden Bear was just kind of aimlessly meandering around with his hands behind his back. Lame. I hate the California Golden Bear.
• Pep Band of the Day goes to the Morgan State Bear Pep Band -- they turned up the funk and went band camp all over Estelle’s “American Boy” and others. Mad grooves and so much fun to watch, especially the guys rocking the cymbals. If I was in a kung fu movie, I’d want them to be my soundtrack. The Morgan State Bear even breakdanced. (Brokedanced?)
• In a fight between Pouncer the Tiger from Memphis and the Clemson Tiger, the Clemson Tiger would win. However, in a dance-off, it’s Pouncer, no contest.
• Note to the CSU Northridge pep band: “Handlebars” by Flobots is an intriguing choice, but it’s not working for you guys. Also, your mascot Matty the Matador and Jay Leno are one and the same.
  

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Grinders: 417 East 18th St. | Kansas City, MO 64108

BK Burger Shots + BK Tacos

Boldly breaking the $10 BK Barrier.

En route to Burger King to get some BK Burger Shots, Nick and I started reminiscing about BK Tacos. They were kind of like those mini-taco appetizers you can get at some T.G.I. McGillicutty’s-type establishments, but greasier and in full-size taco form. Turned out Nick was a fan of BK Tacos as well, and we lamented how they were cruelly discontinued in the KC region.

Moments after we got in line, Nick pointed to the BK Favorites menu and simply said, “Tacos.” Sixth Street Lawrence Burger King, I love you.

That’s how I ended up northwards of $10 for lunch at Burger King. One order of tacos, plus a six-pack of Burger Shots with cheese combo, which I upsized so I could take the monster soda back to work with me. Total: $10.17. There was a surprise bonus onion ring in my Frypod -- maybe that’s my reward for dropping a Hamilton.

The Burger Shots weren’t bad, but they’re not going to satisfy any cravings for White Castle or Krystal sliders. They’re actually just your standard BK cheeseburgers, all tinyfied. Same unmistakable BK flame-broiled taste. Burger Shots come in a six-pack (too many) and a two-pack (too few). King, I humbly beseech ye for a Double Stacker Burger Shot or a Loaded Steakhouse Burger Shot.

The tacos, however, were as awesome as I remember. BK Tacos are a fried taco shell filled with like a ground beef meat paste, lettuce, a slice of cheese (not shredded but a slice), and hot sauce. They’re neither truly a hard nor a soft taco -- even though the wrapper says “crispy,” that’s really only true around the edges. The closer you get to the middle, the taco gets deliciously chewy.

The deal is, either you’re on board with BK Tacos or you’re not. I’ll admit, the first time I tried them was out of pure curiosity -- but man if I didn’t dig them. Back then they were priced at $1.09 for two.

Now an order of two BK Tacos costs $1.99. And they will only sell them to you two at a time. Want three? Too bad. Buy four and throw one away. I understand these are pretty much the same tacos you can get at Jack in the Box, although I couldn’t say for sure since we don’t have Jack in the Boxes around here.

On the way out, Nick picked up a Burger King crown. Printed on the inside are rules for BK-related games you can play -- none of which are a Burger Shots Eat-Off. I’d be all over that.

KenTacoHut, the Famous Bowl & the KFC Big Box Meal

Talk about an Appetite for Destruction.

[Note: Many of the events chronicled here took place the day Chinese Democracy came out, Sunday, Nov. 23, 2008 -- also the date I started writing this post. So while what follows is by no means timely, the delay is kind of appropriate, all things considered.]

I’d been waiting for this day since my junior year at East High. Back then, Use Your Illusion I & II were pretty much the soundtrack to lunch. We’d crank those albums as we headed to one of our usual spots, top three in the rotation being Taco Bell, KFC, and Dog & Shake (the latter a Wichita, Kan. favorite). So to properly commemorate the release of Chinese Democracy -- “Music’s Most Anticipated Album EVER” -- step two had to be grabbing something to eat at KenTacoHut.

If only there was such a thing as a KenTacoDog&Shake. If only.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. What was step one of the proper commemoration, you ask? Enjoying some Ten High, the preferred bourbon of high schoolers everywhere. Shaw and I conquered this task in the Best Buy parking lot before we went in to get my copy of Chinese Democracy. (On vinyl, thank you.) I was surprised to see there wasn't a line at Best Buy -- I thought for sure we'd have to wait around at least a little bit what with Chinese Democracy nearly 15 years in the making. Not so much. Since we had a little extra time before KenTacoHut opened, we took the opportunity to conquer step one again.

There was already one guy outside KenTacoHut when we got there, waiting to pick up like a dozen buckets of the Colonel’s legacy for a Chiefs tailgate party. Thus, at least in Overland Park this Sunday morning, there was a greater demand for KFC then GNR. OPKS, you are not a city of rock.

Once they let us in and dude had his chicken, I stepped up to the KFC counter and ordered a Famous Bowl. That’s Popcorn Chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, and cheese all layered in a bowl together. I’d had a morbid curiosity about this thing for a while.

Clearly the most likely explanation for the origin of the Famous Bowl is that a bunch of KFC bigwigs used dark magic to conjure forth the Colonel from the great beyond so that they might seek his guidance, to which the Colonel -- now undead and none too happy about it -- said, “I say now boy, just put a bunch of stuff in a bowl, you hear?,” right before he ate the brains of all but one survivor who lived to tell the tale. The Famous Bowl is that sinister.

On the other hand, there is Popcorn Chicken in it and that’s delicious, so how bad could the Famous Bowl be?

The answer is that the Famous Bowl was surprisingly tasty. For four bites. And then it all went to hell. The Popcorn Chicken turned soggy and the chicken-potato-gravy ratio got hopelessly thrown out of whack and it was just no good. Which is too bad because the Famous Bowl is kind of big -- you’re going to end up with a lot left.

KFC, against my better judgment I might be compelled to try your Famous Bowl a second time if you came out a smaller version, like about the size of a pudding cup. You could call it the B-List Famous Bowl. Or make people order it Child Star Sized.

Shaw and I ended up taking turns holding big sporkfuls of our leftover Famous Bowls upside down to see how long it would take for gravity to do its business. We topped out close to 30 seconds.

Feeling like I needed to take advantage of more that KenTacoHut had to offer, I also ordered a Chili Cheese Burrito and a Volcano Taco from Taco Bell, and quickly learned a valuable lesson -- it’s probably not the best idea to go to Taco Bell before noon, and you certainly never want to be the first order of the day. Taco Bell needs a little bit of time to warm up and find its groove.

Earlier while waiting for our food, we took notice of a display hawking the KFC Big Box Meal. It consists of:

• Your choice of a drumstick or thigh, either Original Recipe or Extra Crispy
• Whatever variety of KFC Snacker you want
• Two Original Recipe Crispy Strips
• Two sides, a biscuit and a large drink
  

Three days later on Thanksgiving Eve with nowhere better to go for lunch, we found ourselves at a different KFC ready to check that action out.

We each got it with an Original Recipe thigh and a Buffalo KFC Snacker. It was good. As well it should be -- it’s a box full of fried chicken-related awesomeness. Even if we agreed that the thigh was the weak link in all this.

See, in the KFC Big Box Meal, you’ve already got a KFC Snacker plus Crispy Strips and a couple of different sauces to dip them in. If KFC wants its actual traditional fried chicken to come off as anything more than a greasy afterthought, they need to give you a fried chicken breast, or at least two pieces like a drumstick and a thigh, or maybe two drumsticks. Not two thighs, though -- somehow it seems like that would be even more unremarkable.

For a solitary thigh or drumstick cannot hold its own all by itself -- it’s just not enough to make an impact. To truly function at full capacity, it needs to accompany another piece of bone-in fried chicken. I would’ve happily traded in the thigh for a few bites of Popcorn Chicken.

The sides were good -- we both went with mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. However, we must note that in the world of fast food fried chicken side dishes, they’re all completely owned by the red beans and rice at Popeyes.

Make no mistake, we’re fans of the KFC Big Box Meal. Quite frankly, what it all boils down to is that we’re suckers for ridiculous quantities of food that comes in a box. It’s like a Happy Meal for adults. The only thing missing is a cool toy surprise to distract you from thinking about the fact that in one sitting you just ate like a total of nine chickens.

That said, if KFC wanted to throw a Child Star Sized Famous Bowl in the box, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed.
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KenTacoHut: 7100 West 119th Street | Overland Park, KS 66213

Taco Bell Volcano Taco & Triple Steak Burrito + BarQuest: The Sand Trap

Take that, “Dante’s Peak” Taco!

“Looks like Dos Hombres is Closed Hombres.”

That’s what Dorsett said when he called Shaw and I on the way to this month’s Guys’ Night at Dos Hombres in Red Bridge, where they were supposed to have all-you-can-eat tacos on Tuesday nights. Thwarted! Scrambling for a Plan B, we opted to hit Taco Bell before going on an expedition for BarQuest, the continuing search for a neighborhood bar worth hanging out at in my area of town.

I’d been jonesing to try the Volcano Taco, and for 99¢ it wasn’t bad. Near as I can tell, it’s your standard Taco Bell crunchy taco in a red shell with one major difference -- lava sauce, a kind of politely spicy nacho cheese. Shaw’s Volcano Taco, however, was severely under-lavaed. Taco Bell, if you are going to call it a Volcano Taco, there better be Mt. Vesuvius amounts of lava sauce on there. Otherwise, it’s nothing but a red taco.

I was also excited to try the new Triple Steak Burrito, which looked way beyond the limits of awesome when I saw a commercial for it amidst drinking heroic amounts of beer at the Crawl For Cancer last Saturday. Yeah, one bite in, and I realized how wrong it is to pay $3.99 for anything at Taco Bell. I mean, for a couple dollars more I could go to Chipotle.

Besides, even though the Triple Steak Burrito’s “authentic” carne asada steak and fire-roasted salsa are pretty good, there’s Taco Bell rice in there. That’s fine in a Grilled Stuft Burrito where quantity of fillings is what it’s about, but in any other case, Taco Bell rice adds zero. All it does is take up space. Full disclosure: I’ve got a major aversion to Taco Bell rice stemming from my disappointment with the Cheesy Beefy Melt and how it turned out to be like one-third rice. That’s not a Cheesy Beefy Melt. That’s a Cheesy Beefy Ricey Melt -- and might as well be a Cheesy Beefy Sawdust Melt.

Not exactly sure what I thought the Triple Steak referred to when I saw the commercial. Certainly I didn’t believe there were three kinds of steak in it. Okay, I did, but cut me some slack -- to prove how much we truly despise cancer, we were dominating the beers big time. Rather, it’s called the Triple Steak Burrito because it’s got three times the steak of a Steak Burrito Supreme. Which I’ll go ahead and point out is so supreme, they don’t bother putting rice in it.

At $3.99, the Triple Steak Burrito made me nostalgic for the long gone 59¢ 79¢ 99¢ menu, when hardly anything the Bell served broke the $1 barrier. Aside from the Volcano Taco, I’m having a hard time getting excited about anything on the current 79¢ 89¢ 99¢ Why Pay More? Value Menu. Cheese Roll-Up? Eh. I so took for granted the days when I could get a Double Decker Taco or a Chili Cheese Burrito for less than a G. Washington. Such sweet memories.

En route to Taco Bell, we passed The Sand Trap at Blue Ridge & Holmes, and decided to give it a shot for BarQuest. (In a future entry, I’ll try to recap expeditions thus far to the Daily Limit and R.C.’s Back Door Bar & Grill.) With some links-related decor and Golden Tee, The Sand Trap was friendly enough -- they gave us a free round and kept the popcorn coming. But ultimately this place just wasn’t our speed. Especially considering none of the guys in attendance actually play golf.

The Sand Trap also has a Target Toss Pro: Bags machine, of which Shaw observed, “Perhaps the only thing I have less interest in playing than Bags: The Video Game, is playing Bags in real life.”
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The Sand Trap: 13037 Holmes | Kansas City, MO 64145

Kite's Bar & Grill

Three more tacos and another beer, please.

$2 all-you-can-eat tacos? Get a few bar food enthusiasts together and that’s more than just a Tuesday night special. It’s a challenge. So for April Guys’ Night, we decided to check out Kite’s.

Are the tacos any good? Actually, they’re a notch above, although simultaneously nondescript. I wouldn’t feel ripped off if I paid a dollar or so for one. But taco quality is hardly the point when for a mere two G. Washingtons they will bring you basket after basket of tacos until you tell them to stop. Or at least until 8 p.m. when the special ends.

Here’s the stat that says it all: Each Guys’ Night attendee was able to get his individual CPT (cost per taco) down to under a quarter.

UPDATE 7/22/08: Drat -- Kite's has since quit doing this special.
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10901 West 75th Street | Shawnee, KS 66214