"BBQ Makes Everything Better"

The only thing that could make this book meatier is if it was printed on bacon.

I cook most of our dinners on the grill. I especially love to grill in the winter when there’s a little bit of snow. Makes me feel in control of the elements. Mother Nature’s not going to tell me when I can or can’t have a steak.

Thus, I was excited to receive a review copy of "BBQ Makes Everything Better," by Aaron Chronister and Jason Day. They’re two-thirds of Kansas City's Burnt Finger BBQ team, the duo behind BBQAddicts.com, and the inventors of the Bacon Explosion.

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Arrowhead Stadium Sandwich Roundup

Your source for all things Chiefs.*
*Assuming all you want to know about are the sandwiches.

McHugh was given some last-minute tickets to the Kansas City Chiefs season opener on Monday, and invited Shaw and I to join him. Despite the rain, I couldn’t have asked for a better first Arrowhead game experience. Whoever had the brilliant idea to book Train to play at halftime and secure victory by boring the San Diego Chargers into submission deserves a raise. That was diabolical.

Plus, making their Arrowhead debut tonight were some new concessions that we absolutely had to try. Here’s what we had, along with an evaluation of each item’s value, keeping in mind that everything at Arrowhead costs twice as much as it should -- $7.75 Miller Lites, anyone?


Bratwurst Burger from The Burger Box by Blanc
It’s a bratwurst patty, topped with jalapenos and melty cheddar on a pretzel bun. Taking nearly everything good about tailgating and fancying it up, this was easily the winner out of tonight’s selections. We paid $9. Is it worth $4.50? Considering Blanc’s usual prices, $9 seems about right.


Red & Gold Short Rib Melt from Tailgaters Grill
By themselves, the pulled short ribs on this sandwich were tender and tasty. However, they got lost in a cheese overload with all that white American and Havarti, not to mention the two thick slices of Parmesan-crusted toast. We paid $11. Is it worth $5.50? More like $3. This sandwich is an intriguing idea, but ultimately comes off as just a glorified grilled cheese.


KC Burnt Ends Cheesesteak from Blaze Burgers & Fries
There was a clear difference between the sandwich pictured and the sandwich we got, but knowing that’s just the rule with food photography, I kept thinking the next bite would be where I found some peppers and onions. Alas, it turned out what we’d been given was simply a burnt end sandwich with cheese -- although McHugh got one from a different Blaze Burgers stand that he said was loaded with toppings. We paid $8.50. Is it worth $4.25? Even without the fixings, it was a passable foodservice barbecue sandwich. But I still want that cheesesteak in the picture.

It was very cool to check out the newly renovated Arrowhead. While I’m not a big sports fan aside from college basketball, I love people-watching and tailgating. I’d only been here one other time, for U2 on the Zoo TV tour in 1992.

The Sugarcubes opened that show, and I actually got to meet Bjork. During the set by the other opening act, The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, she was watching from out in the audience so I wandered over to introduce myself. I’m sure Bjork would remember. Just ask her about that ultrasuave, short teenager in Kansas City who smelled faintly of Viaka vodka.

Blame It On Cain’s (Tulsa Road Trip 9/09, Part 3)

Never say die.

Whataburger

Robert: As previously recounted, I'm a Whatafarm veteran, but Shaw, Jeff and Ryan had never tackled one -- so before embarking upon the arduous drive home, we headed to Whataburger.

Shaw: In preparation, I drew up a new Whatafarm diagram that included the full complement of Whataburger toppings. We figured giving them that would be easier than saying “I want a burger -- add chicken, bacon, fried egg and anything else you can throw on there.”

Robert: Except fish. No fish.

Shaw: Spirits were high as we pulled into the parking lot, even though the Whataburger that Ryan's GPS led us to seemed a little sketchy. Chatting about the domination soon to be taking place, we ran into one of the managers walking to her car, and showed her the diagram to confirm we weren't going to get any static. Impressed yet also clearly relieved that she was now off duty, she said making us Whatafarms shouldn't be a problem -- and then promptly sped away.

Once inside, following Robert's pre-established protocol, I stepped up to the counter, looked the employee dead in the eye, slid the diagram across the counter and said, “We'd like four of these, please.”

Robert: Your form was 100% correct. For the life of me, I can't figure out what it was that threw this particular Whataburger into total chaos.

Shaw: The diagram caused much commotion and umpteen looks of horror. Eventually every Whataburger staffer was up at the counter. All except one.

They took our diagram to the back, and a couple of minutes later a guy -- I'm not sure if he was the head manager or what -- emerged and said, “I'm sorry, we can't make that.”

Robert: Whaa? Excuse me? What do you mean? You can't? Or you won't?

Shaw: We asked for an explanation, and he just repeated, a little more sternly I might add, “I'm sorry, sir. We can't make that.”

Robert: Come on! It’s not like it's made out of unicorn! You've got everything you need right there!

Shaw: At this time, I will point out the irony of the current Whataburger campaign: “Customize Your Burger.”

Robert: So we did the only logical thing. We piled back into the car and went in search of another Whataburger.

Shaw: There was some anxiety in the air, since we were running out of time before 11:00, when breakfast hours end and you can't get a fried egg anymore. The egg is critical to the equation! If you don't get an egg, then you're just some jerk with a fried chicken-burger-bacon-cheese sandwich.

Turned out there was no need to worry -- this location looked like the crown jewel of the Whataburger empire, and when we showed the crew what we wanted, they were excited to join us on our adventure. They even asked if they could make a copy of our diagram.

Robert: Not to mention they gave us free fountain drinks after hearing the sordid tale of how we were turned away at the other Whataburger.

Shaw: When our four Whatafarms arrived, the table supports audibly creaked. This thing is just as much of a beast as you think it is.

The first bite is almost overwhelming, a dancing assortment of flavor, but thanks to a sound structure the Whatafarm quickly settles into a nice balance. About halfway through, I started slowing down. By the end I had a little sweat going, yet I still powered through and finished proud. Also a little regretful, but mostly proud.

Robert: Indeed, I'm proud to report that we all finished our Whatafarms. As we were wrapping up, the general manager came over and chatted with us for a couple of minutes. He apologized again for our experience at the sketchy Whataburger, and gave us kudos on our refusal to give up on a dream.

While I don't know if he'd want to see his name on Lunch Blog or not, it must be said that Whataburger #303's general manager deserves a raise, a promotion to corporate and full access to the Whatajet, which I'm not sure is a real thing but if it isn't it certainly should be. Whataburger bigwigs, please email me and we can let you know who your #1 employee is and sing his praises even more.

Shaw: Everything about the food and service here was topnotch -- I couldn't be happier with the experience. It'll be awhile before I need another Whatafarm, though. Next time, I'll have to try something from the regular menu.

Robert: You should. I'd say Whataburger serves the best fast food burgers around, but to me they actually taste a step above fast food.

Smokey Ben's

Shaw: Four hours later, we stopped for barbecue. That was a truly awful idea.

Robert: Jeff, Ryan and I -- or maybe it was just me -- really wanted Hot Momma's. They're these little spicy sausages we got here on our last Tulsa road trip. One or two of them would have been a fine afternoon snack.

Shaw: But we also got ribs.

Robert: We should not have gotten ribs. They were fine, but four hours after a Whatafarm, we should not have gotten ribs.

Ill-conceived barbecue pit stop notwithstanding, it was an awesome trip. And now I'm ready to go back for another show at Cain's Ballroom. Who's up for Drive-By Truckers? How about Hank III?

Little bit of bad news, though, guys -- we totally missed the Hanson show.

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The good Whataburger, not the sketchy one:
4726 East 41st Street | Tulsa, OK 74135

Smokey Ben's:
610 West Mary Street | Yates Center KS 66783
(Although no matter where you may find yourself, if you want a Hot Momma bad enough, Smokey Ben's will magically appear.)

RJ's Bob-Be-Cue Shack

It’s never too early for barbecue.

Breakfast at a barbecue joint? Yes, please. There couldn’t be a more perfect place than RJ’s Bob-Be-Cue Shack for Kelly and I to meet up with Jeff and Jill, in town from Manhattan for the weekend. Phil and Arika joined us, too, with Phil wearing a t-shirt made of equal parts awesome and nightmares.

The people at RJ’s are way friendly, and the restaurant is pretty welcoming. When you walk in, you’re greeted by a pig in a chef’s hat who appears to be a little slaphappy and quite possibly drunk. But hey, if I was a pig working in a barbecue joint, I’d be drinking too.

Although there’s lots of tasty sounding stuff on the breakfast menu, I figured it was necessary to order based on whatever comes with the largest amount of smoked meat. That meant skipping over the Country Fried Steak & Eggs and the South of the Border Breakfast Burrito, which would have been contenders anywhere else.

Thus, I went with the Farm Hands Breakfast Platter ($7.95), as did Jeff, Phil and Kelly. It’s your choice of two out of pit ham, link sausages and smoked bacon, alongside two eggs, country taters, and biscuits and gravy. Considering that both the meat and gravy groups are represented, everything on the platter plus a diner-worthy cup black coffee adds up to a perfectly balanced breakfast, at least as far as I’m concerned. Eat your fruit garnish and you may even get some vitamins.

Meanwhile, Arika ordered pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. Hmmm. (To be fair, I think she was planning to gank some of Phil’s bacon.)

What happened next was the best -- our server brought over two plates of surprise cinnamon rolls. I am now firmly of the belief that every meal should start with surprise cinnamon rolls. I suppose after a while the cinnamon rolls would cease to be a surprise, but so long as they kept coming, I think we could all agree to fake it.

About a cup of coffee later, our breakfasts arrived. For my two meats, I got pit ham and smoked bacon -- and I can’t emphasize how ridiculously delicious the bacon is. It’s super-thick cut, comes out a deep rosy-caramel color, and every bite is full of super-smoky flavor.

Only later did I realize the correct order would have been to get neither ham nor sausage -- but rather, double bacon. Seriously, I’ve been thinking about stopping back in just to get a side of bacon to go.

Using my ham to try both kinds of RJ’s sauce, I thought the original had a nice sweet taste, but preferred the peppery kick of the spicy variety. And while the biscuits and gravy weren’t the world’s greatest, with everything else on the Farm Hands Breakfast Platter, they were good enough as a side. Especially when paired with the bacon high I was on.

If there is one downside to hitting a barbecue joint before 10 a.m., it’s that you will reek of barbecue for the rest of the day. Actually, that’s not really a downside at all.

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5835 Lamar Avenue | Mission, KS 66202

Bacon Explosion

How I hickory smoked downtown Lawrence.

By now I’m sure you’ve heard of the Bacon Explosion, created right here in Kansas City by BBQ Addicts. It’s a bacon tapestry layered with sausage, more bacon, barbecue sauce and rub, that’s then rolled up and hickory smoked before being finished off with a barbecue sauce glaze. Nick and I had been talking about making it for a while, so we seized the opportunity at last week’s company picnic at South Park, down the street from our agency. We actually made two Bacon Explosions, cooking the bacon for the interior and performing the assembly in our lunchroom, which does still and may forever reek of bacon.

Rather than drag a smoker down to the park, we used a gas grill, setting a smoker box of hickory chips on the grate and indirectly cooking the Bacon Explosion. Admittedly not ideal conditions, but we made it work. You could smell the hickory smoke a good 50 feet away.

My favorite moment of the day happened while I was embarrassing myself playing a game of washers. Nick came up to me and said, “The Bacon Explosion is on fire -- and I’m not sure how long it’s been on fire for.”

So the ends got a little bit charred, and by charred I mean crazy burnt. But the Bacon Explosion was still delicious, if on the salty side -- we followed the measurements for everything in the recipe pretty close, and three tablespoons of rub is probably a bit too much. As with all recipes, I figure the first time is practice. The next time will be perfection.

Road Trip: Salt Lake City

Breaking News: Food Network passes on pilot for "Shaw Eats Utah."

I’d been meaning to go hang out with my sister Liz in Salt Lake City for quite awhile now, so when I found out my brother John was heading that way for a visit over his birthday weekend, I got my act together and made plans to join them.

Sure enough, it was a blast. I got to experience the bureaucracy of SLC nightlife and even go skiing for the first time in years -- where I discovered that while technique may come back quickly, muscles do not. And, of course, I also had a few bites to eat. All but one of these places were even in the Salt Lake City Weekly's "Best of Utah 2009" issue.


Pat’s BBQ
After a day of skiing, some heavy calories were called for, and we met up with Liz’s friend JJ at Pat’s BBQ to partake in some of the famous-osity that are Pat’s ribs. We managed to convince Liz to upgrade her usual 1/4 rack order to a half rack so we could all sample the goods. The rest of us ordered the 1/2 lb. pulled pork & 1/2 lb. brisket combo.

The ribs are indeed the real star at Pat’s BBQ -- just an incredible peppery smoky taste that didn’t need any embellishment from the two accompanying barbecue sauces. The pulled pork was fantastic and tender, and the brisket was good as well, but clearly outshined by everything else. Truth be told, I didn’t even feel the need to try the sauces until I was nearing the end of my brisket slices. Pat’s smoke and rub is more than enough to give everything plenty of flavor.

We also sampled a wide range of sides. Baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad and something called meaty gravy and rice, which is pulled pork over rice in a thin, clear sauce. While I questioned Liz’s choice of getting the cole slaw -- because really, when was the last time cole slaw was anything besides filler? -- I was proven wrong by the zesty yellow-tinged concoction that arrived. Yes, it was damn fine slaw.

In fact, everything we had was top notch, including the service. And if you’re lamenting the fact you may never get to try such craftsmanship since you don’t have a reason to go to Utah, there was ample evidence that Pat’s BBQ takes the show on the road to the American Royal Barbecue competition right here in KC.


Blue Plate Diner
For breakfast, Liz recommended the Blue Plate Diner, an old school eatery that seems almost as much of a house as a restaurant. We were able to get seated right away and take a look at the menu, which bounces between classic greasy spoon and trendier modern offerings.

While I agonized over my decision -- the biscuits and gravy being an early frontrunner -- Liz ordered eggs benedict and John chose a verde omelet. I ultimately opted for the spinach, mushroom and avocado variant of the eggs benedict, keeping in mind the heavier fare we’d be having later in the day.

The food came out relatively quick, but I was soon let down by the blandness of the hollandaise. The flavors all worked well together -- although some bacon would’ve really kicked the taste up a few levels. Liz’s standard eggs benedict had the same hollandaise problem. John’s omelet looked deceptively sedate until we discovered the beige gravy had an unexpected kick. Each dish came with some of the best home fries I've ever tasted.

Overall, a better than average breakfast, but I can’t help thinking the biscuits and gravy would have been a better choice, or at least a more accurate indicator of what the Blue Plate Diner can do.


Moochie’s & Brewvies
Moochie’s was one of the few places I’d checked out online before I headed to SLC, and one of the “must eats” on my list. Renowned for cheesesteaks and meatball subs, Moochie’s is fast, too. We ordered a six-inch of each to go, and were out of there within minutes. We would’ve asked for our sandwiches to be cut into thirds, but we were running tight on time -- we didn’t want to throw off Moochie’s carefully honed system and become the source of a sandwich breakdown.

We took our sandwiches and moved on to Brewvies for an afternoon showing of "Taken." Brewvies sports two theaters as well as a good-sized front bar area with pool tables and video games. Prices are very reasonable -- $3 per ticket for the first show of the day, $8 for a pitcher of Bud Light -- and the seating is spacious with each row of seats providing a low-lit narrow table/ledge to hold your drinks and food. There are also couches and tables in the back if you want to get your sprawl on.

Due to the thickness of the bread and an especially messy meatball, we had a bit of a challenge cutting the sandwiches with the plastic knives we’d picked up at Moochie’s -- but we did it. The meatball sub had a real spicy goodness, while the cheesesteak was just okay, and probably a little too salty. I wish we’d had time to eat them at Moochie’s instead to having to rush to Brewvies. I’d for sure like to make a Moochie’s return trip for more in-depth research.


Apollo Burger vs. Crown Burger
I spotted both these joints on the way to Liz’s house from the airport, and was excited to find out Crown Burger was the Salt Lake City Weekly's #1 pick. Apollo Burger didn’t even place. But as we are discerning eaters capable of making up our own minds, we decided to bring back two burgers and fries from each to conduct our own head-to-head taste competition at Liz’s apartment.

First we went to fetch some Apollo Burger, which made a strong impression with its authentic early ‘70s décor and big green leather booths. We went with the signature Apollo Burger, which is a cheeseburger with pastrami, as well as the Western Bacon Cheeseburger. $11 total.

At Crown Burger (no website), we took the drive thru since we already had our Apollo Burger order and didn’t want it to get cold. We got a Crown Burger, which is also a cheeseburger with pastrami, and a Double Bacon Cheeseburger -- the touted winner of the best burger in town. Those two burgers with fries came to $15.

Back at Liz’s, we started with the Apollo Burger, then the Crown Burger, followed by the Western Bacon Cheeseburger, and ending on the Double Bacon Cheeseburger. After the carnage, our consensus was that the Crown Burger beats the others with superior pastrami and flavor, not to mention appearance and structural integrity.

The Western Bacon Cheeseburger was the universal loser, even proving inedible to one of our testers. When we unwrapped it, Liz said, “I’m already not looking forward to it.” While we were cleaning up, John asked, “You have somewhere to throw this out? You don’t want this left in your apartment.”

In the end, Apollo put up a decent effort -- but Crown took ‘em down like Drago, not even breaking a sweat.

Red Iguana
Outstanding. That’s really the only word that can describe the Red Iguana. There’s a reason this place is listed as one of the top restaurants in SLC, and it starts with seven -- seven! -- different kinds of mole.

Red Iguana is the kind of eatery where you may never get around to trying a taco because you can’t pass up their specialty items. John got the Puntas de Filete a la Norteña, which are sirloin tips tossed with bacon, jalapenos, onions and tomatoes served over an almond mole that consists of almonds, chiles, zucchini, milk, peanut butter and onions.

I ordered the Lomo de Puerco, which is a roasted rolled pork loin stuffed with dried fruit, swiss chard and sun-dried tomatoes, sliced and served over the aforementioned almond mole. Liz went low-key with the carne asada burritos, but even that seemingly straightforward dish was incredible.

Directly after lunch my siblings dropped me off at the airport and headed back into the mountains for another round of skiing.

If only I had more time. More time to sample all of the moles.

Er, I mean hang with the family.
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Big thanks to Liz, Scott (in absentia), JJ, Buddy, Claire, Kevin, Mike, Anika, and the guy who gave us a ride up to Alta for all their hospitality.

NCAA Opening Round Munchies: Sprint Center 1/2 Lb. KC BBQ Dog + Grinders Tacos

March Madness -- it’s not always pretty.

Went to the first day of the 2009 NCAA Tournament's opening round at the Sprint Center with some friends on Thursday, and grabbed lunch while I was there. Now I don’t know for sure that during the construction of the Sprint Center there was an ongoing top-secret development process underway to create a signature Kansas City-related menu item, but I like to think there was. And whoever said “let’s just throw some brisket on an unnecessarily large hot dog” deserves a raise.

The 1/2 Lb. KC BBQ Dog is a ridiculously huge all beef hot dog, topped with brisket plus onion straws and “famous” barbecue sauce. About the only thing that could make it more Kansas City is if the sauce was from Arthur Bryant’s or Gates or one of the other estimated 17 gazillion barbecue joints here in town, rather than being a sauce vaguely called “famous.” Which I’m pretty sure is code for “we buy it by the vatful.” Keeping in mind that arena food is always overpriced, at $8 I don’t feel like I got fleeced too bad, either. Not so much with my $4 soda.

Between sessions we went to Grinders, and I got the Thursday special of three for a dollar tacos. I knew they’d be fantastic when the waitress told me they were taking a while because they were “still on the grill.” Grilled tacos!

Sure enough, they were way delicious. Even though the tacos are grilled, they actually come out pretty soft, filled with seasoned taco meat and melted cheese -- picture a floppy quesadilla. This is about the closest I’ve come to Amigos soft tacos since that outfit closed up shop around here.

Finally, here is some expert Lunch Blog tournament commentary -- and by “expert,” we mean it’s all about the mascots and pep bands.

• There was no way the Maryland Terrapins weren’t going to win -- they had turtle power! Seriously, Testudo the Diamondback Turtle busted out some sweet moves every time the pep band played the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” theme. Meanwhile, the California Golden Bear was just kind of aimlessly meandering around with his hands behind his back. Lame. I hate the California Golden Bear.
• Pep Band of the Day goes to the Morgan State Bear Pep Band -- they turned up the funk and went band camp all over Estelle’s “American Boy” and others. Mad grooves and so much fun to watch, especially the guys rocking the cymbals. If I was in a kung fu movie, I’d want them to be my soundtrack. The Morgan State Bear even breakdanced. (Brokedanced?)
• In a fight between Pouncer the Tiger from Memphis and the Clemson Tiger, the Clemson Tiger would win. However, in a dance-off, it’s Pouncer, no contest.
• Note to the CSU Northridge pep band: “Handlebars” by Flobots is an intriguing choice, but it’s not working for you guys. Also, your mascot Matty the Matador and Jay Leno are one and the same.
  

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Grinders: 417 East 18th St. | Kansas City, MO 64108

Road Trip: 237 Miles to Tulsa

And nary a Krystal the entire way.

See Wilco. Take down beers. Those were our chief priorities when Jeff, Ryan, Jeremy and I road-tripped to Tulsa last weekend. And with four guys in a car together, you know the snack action isn’t going to be pretty. It can’t be a good idea to recap what all we dominated on the trip, but nevertheless, here goes.

• Smokey Ben’s Barbecue: The house specialty is Hot Mommas -- short, fat, spicy sausages that are ridiculously delicious. Seriously, if you ever get to go to Smokey Ben’s and try them, let me know what you think. You can also tell me how to get there, since the only reason we found this joint in the first place is that Jeff and Ryan historically refuse to print out directions, meaning we inevitably get lost.

• Road Snacks: I thought this would be a good excuse to try some new varieties of Archer Farms potato chips I saw at Target -- schezwan barbecue and cheddar bacon. Couldn't actually tell if either flavor tasted like what it was supposed to taste like, but it's certainly within the realm of possibility that they did. Jeremy wouldn't let us eat them in the car.
  

• The Soundpony: Right next door to Cain’s, the place where Wilco was playing, was this bicycle enthusiast bar that had for sale beers, hot dogs being cooked on one of those carousel grillers -- and bikes themselves. I think Ryan pointed out that if you’re buying a bike at the same place where you drink, you probably aren’t all that serious about cycling to begin with.

• Random Street Vendor Outside Cain’s: Making a bold move and choosing to have my dog Chicago style, the guy fixing it might’ve set a world record for speed when he was throwing on all the toppings. A solid Chicago dog to be sure, especially considering it was from a cart in downtown Tulsa.

• Cain’s: Didn’t eat there, but it would be remiss not to mention that you can buy beer here a sixer at a time, still in the rings. And that is the coolest.

• Whataburger: After checking out a few other downtown dives after the show, I passed on a Whataburger run with Jeff and Ryan. Nice guy that he is, though, Jeff thought I might like a burger so he got an extra triple. Then upon getting back to the hotel and discovering I'd crashed out while he was gone, Jeff threw the wrapped-up burger at my head like 90 miles an hour loudly demanding, “You eat that! You eat that burger!” Terrified, I made it maybe three bites in. Ultimately it was a lost cause.

• Mary Jane’s Pizza: At some point, Jeremy ordered a pepperoni and sausage pizza. How the pizza was when it was hot, I cannot say. I can tell you it was pretty good about seven or eight hours later when I woke up. Is there a breakfast better than cold pizza? Apparently Mary Jane’s is open until -- wait for it -- 4:20 in the morning. Not really my thing, but I can appreciate their commitment to the joke.

• Arby’s: My fellow road-trippers are all wrong -- potato cakes are a world of awesome beyond curly fries. My Jamocha shake ruled me the rest of the day, familiar comfort for the ride home.

Also worth noting is that there is either a Subway or a Sonic and usually both about every fifteen miles or so on whatever backwoods route Jeff and Ryan had us taking to Tulsa. While the Subway storefronts tend to blend in by holding shop in what looks like temporary tract housing, Sonic is always the newest, shiniest, gaudiest thing in town -- standing out even more since without exception they're built by property that is fairly dilapidated if not abandoned altogether. Okay, it may not seem all that interesting to you, but it starts to take on an increasing air of strange fascination the more Subways and Sonics you pass.

And yeah, Wilco was good, too. But that goes without saying.