Walsh’s Corner Cocktails

The shuffleboard is free. The beers aren’t much more.

The worst answer you can get when you ask what the night’s drink specials are, is that there aren’t any. Unless your server follows that answer with these four beautiful words: “It’s all pretty cheap.”

Excellent! A $1.75 Busch draw for me then, please, and keep them coming. And my good man Casey here feels like splurging, so he’ll have the Michelob Amber Bock for fifty big cents more, thank you very much.

Walsh’s Corner Cocktails was exactly what we needed for Guys’ Night this month, after fancy drinks at The Rieger Hotel Grill & Exchange our last time out. Adam, McHugh and Voytek were also in attendance on this Wednesday, and a good crowd was already at Corner Cocktails when we arrived.

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Ugly Joe’s Sports Bar & Grill

And yo momma, too.

Guys’ Night this month was at Ugly Joe’s, where the Monday special is half-price appetizers. That was good news for us, since we always appreciate the chance to tackle some variety. The even better news was that Monday is $5 cheap domestic pitcher night, too. Because my mom was in town for the weekend and her flight home had been delayed, she got to join us for the fun.

With four kinds of Baby Burgers on the menu’s appetizer section, you know we had to try those. You can order either a regular six-pack of straight-up classic burgers, or you can go with the Home Run Baby Burgers platter, where you get two each of three miniaturized versions of some of the other ones that Ugly Joe’s has:

• Buckeyes: “Smothered with Sautéed Mushrooms & Melted Swiss”
• Burners: “Covered with Melted Jack Cheese, Jalapenos & Spicy Buffalo Sauce”
• Hawkeyes: “Topped with Crisp Bacon & Melted Cheddar”

Tiny burgers must be the late 2000’s equivalent of the jalapeno popper. For a while you could find them only at certain restaurants, and they made for a delicious novelty. Then at some point, word got out. Now every place has them, and whether or not they can do them well is another story altogether.

At Ugly Joe’s, the standard Baby Burgers are squarely middle of the pack, and across the board the bun-to-burger ratio is skewed unfavorably toward the bun. My first impression of the Buckeye was that the mushrooms and swiss cheese would be a little fancy to be any good in tiny burger form, so I was surprised that it actually turned out to be my favorite. Meanwhile, the Burner put in a weak showing with no buffalo sauce to be found. The bacon-powered Hawkeye was like Denzel Washington in any movie: Shows up and does exactly what you expect. Not really incredible, but always good.

All the Baby Burgers come with Burger Sauce on the side. The name Burger Sauce really grossed Robert out. We think Burger Sauce might be something close to A1.

Of course, we ordered up some wings, too. The Ugly Joe’s sauce we enjoyed the most was the Montana Style. Described on the menu as “BBQ, Buffalo & Secret Ingredients,” not only was it spicy and delicious, but it was pretty unique. The traditional Buffalo was also very well done, balancing heat with flavor. Ugly Joe knows his stuff in the wing department. Next time we’ll have to try the Spicy Honey BBQ and the Teriyaki.

This doubled as an expedition for BarQuest, the ongoing mission to find a decent neighborhood dive to hang out at in Robert’s neighborhood. While Ugly Joe’s has good food and plenty of space and TVs, it’s somewhat more spacious and bright than we’d like -- a certain amount of dank is mandatory. Plus, the place is way too sports-focused for everyday hanging out. Admittedly that doesn’t take much for the Lunch Bloggers, but this felt kind of like taking down beers at a Dick’s Sporting Goods.

By the way, my mom ordered the nachos and said they were tasty, but what she especially enjoyed was the opportunity to hang out with the guys. Come back anytime, mom -- great to have you along.
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1227 West 103rd Street | Kansas City, MO 64114

Taco Bell Volcano Taco & Triple Steak Burrito + BarQuest: The Sand Trap

Take that, “Dante’s Peak” Taco!

“Looks like Dos Hombres is Closed Hombres.”

That’s what Dorsett said when he called Shaw and I on the way to this month’s Guys’ Night at Dos Hombres in Red Bridge, where they were supposed to have all-you-can-eat tacos on Tuesday nights. Thwarted! Scrambling for a Plan B, we opted to hit Taco Bell before going on an expedition for BarQuest, the continuing search for a neighborhood bar worth hanging out at in my area of town.

I’d been jonesing to try the Volcano Taco, and for 99¢ it wasn’t bad. Near as I can tell, it’s your standard Taco Bell crunchy taco in a red shell with one major difference -- lava sauce, a kind of politely spicy nacho cheese. Shaw’s Volcano Taco, however, was severely under-lavaed. Taco Bell, if you are going to call it a Volcano Taco, there better be Mt. Vesuvius amounts of lava sauce on there. Otherwise, it’s nothing but a red taco.

I was also excited to try the new Triple Steak Burrito, which looked way beyond the limits of awesome when I saw a commercial for it amidst drinking heroic amounts of beer at the Crawl For Cancer last Saturday. Yeah, one bite in, and I realized how wrong it is to pay $3.99 for anything at Taco Bell. I mean, for a couple dollars more I could go to Chipotle.

Besides, even though the Triple Steak Burrito’s “authentic” carne asada steak and fire-roasted salsa are pretty good, there’s Taco Bell rice in there. That’s fine in a Grilled Stuft Burrito where quantity of fillings is what it’s about, but in any other case, Taco Bell rice adds zero. All it does is take up space. Full disclosure: I’ve got a major aversion to Taco Bell rice stemming from my disappointment with the Cheesy Beefy Melt and how it turned out to be like one-third rice. That’s not a Cheesy Beefy Melt. That’s a Cheesy Beefy Ricey Melt -- and might as well be a Cheesy Beefy Sawdust Melt.

Not exactly sure what I thought the Triple Steak referred to when I saw the commercial. Certainly I didn’t believe there were three kinds of steak in it. Okay, I did, but cut me some slack -- to prove how much we truly despise cancer, we were dominating the beers big time. Rather, it’s called the Triple Steak Burrito because it’s got three times the steak of a Steak Burrito Supreme. Which I’ll go ahead and point out is so supreme, they don’t bother putting rice in it.

At $3.99, the Triple Steak Burrito made me nostalgic for the long gone 59¢ 79¢ 99¢ menu, when hardly anything the Bell served broke the $1 barrier. Aside from the Volcano Taco, I’m having a hard time getting excited about anything on the current 79¢ 89¢ 99¢ Why Pay More? Value Menu. Cheese Roll-Up? Eh. I so took for granted the days when I could get a Double Decker Taco or a Chili Cheese Burrito for less than a G. Washington. Such sweet memories.

En route to Taco Bell, we passed The Sand Trap at Blue Ridge & Holmes, and decided to give it a shot for BarQuest. (In a future entry, I’ll try to recap expeditions thus far to the Daily Limit and R.C.’s Back Door Bar & Grill.) With some links-related decor and Golden Tee, The Sand Trap was friendly enough -- they gave us a free round and kept the popcorn coming. But ultimately this place just wasn’t our speed. Especially considering none of the guys in attendance actually play golf.

The Sand Trap also has a Target Toss Pro: Bags machine, of which Shaw observed, “Perhaps the only thing I have less interest in playing than Bags: The Video Game, is playing Bags in real life.”
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The Sand Trap: 13037 Holmes | Kansas City, MO 64145