Chili's

Finish your plate -- there are people starving at T.G.I. Friday's.

Continuing our trend of Megachain Restaurant Fridays, today we visited Applebee’s classier counterpart Chili’s to enjoy some good old-fashioned, over-complicatedly named gorgery -- for naming menu items is definitely one area where Chili’s destroys the competition. Take for example this 13-syllable juggernaut: Smokehouse Bacon Triple-the-Cheese Big Mouth Burger. It’s a mouthful.

Robert and I ordered up a Jalapeno Smokehouse Bacon Big Mouth Burger, and the Baby Back Ribs Mix & Match Combo with a half rack each of Habanero and Memphis Dry Rub. The ribs came with two sides, affording us the opportunity when asked which two we wanted to reply, “Mashed potatoes. Both kinds.” For the record, those are loaded mashed potatoes, which have all your standard baked potato toppings, and mashed potatoes with black pepper gravy.

If that sounds like a gigantic amount of food, well, that’s because it was. Overall I was really impressed with the way the burger balanced a good amount of flavor with the heat of the jalapenos. The ribs were okay -- between the two flavors I liked the habanero sauce better. The mashed potatoes were both decent, but I’d recommend the black pepper gravy if you’re only getting one.

Side Note: One reason I prefer Chili’s to Applebee’s is that nowhere on their menu will you find anything called “Riblets.” Riblets sound gross. It makes me think of the McRib sandwich with that meat patty molded to look like it’s still got bones in it, the finished effort roughly as convincing as if they’d used a Play-Doh barbecue playset to make it. Shudder.

As for the rest of our party, Zach got the Triple Dipper, Dylan got the Southern Smokehouse Bacon Big Mouth Burger and Scott went with the Fajita Quesadilla -- although how Chili’s missed naming it the Fajitadilla escapes me. Wells got the aforementioned Smokehouse Bacon Triple-the-Cheese Big Mouth Burger, but refused to utter its ridiculous name out loud, rather just pointing to it on the menu and saying, “That one.”

I picked the wrong day to wear a black polo and jeans, since when we got there I discovered that also happens to be your standard Chili’s server outfit. The guys tried to get me to walk around chatting up customers and handing out cards like I was the manager, but I was a chicken.

Oops, I mean an Apple-Marinated Pepper Lime Chick-O-Tastito.

Lunch Blog Fun-tivity Zone!
Combine anywhere between three to 12 words below and make your own delicious Chili’s entrée!

Applewood • Burger • Chicken • Bacon • Lime • Chipotle • Southwestern • Buffalo • Shanghai • Jerk • Rib • Ciabatta • Aioli • Smoked • Crispy • Fajita • Cheese • Beef • Mini • Triple • Zesty • Shrimp • Watermelon • Gargantuan • Margarita • Jalapeno • Habanero • Sandwich
________________________
5880 Antioch | Mission, KS 66202

Applebee's Quesadilla Burger

We draw the line at Riblets.

What with today being David Cook Day and our hometown American Idol rocking the Power & Light District just blocks from our office, in the interest of time and parking we decided to head the opposite direction. Having had a conversation with lunch friend Scott earlier in the week about the Quesadilla Burger and how wrong yet tasty it is, I already had "Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood" on my mind, so I half-joking half-seriously threw out Applebee's as a candidate. Amazingly, it was not rejected outright.

“I could do that,” said Scott, with equal parts shame and enthusiasm. Next thing you know, we were on our way to Applebee's on Rainbow Boulevard -- yours truly being maybe a little too excited to get my usual.

Some background. For the most part I’m anti casual chain dining -- I mean, there are so many other great places to eat. Everywhere, that is, except the drive from Kansas City to Wichita, where the Applebee’s in Emporia is pretty much your only choice.

It was on one such trip that I first tried the Quesadilla Burger, which is just what it sounds like. A greasy burger inside two tortillas with bacon, pepper jack, cheddar, pico de gallo, lettuce and something called “Mexi-Ranch Dressing.” This is the epitome of what casual chain restuarants should be -- ridiculously conceived entrees that give the finger to fine dining. The Quesadilla Burger is the culinary equivalent of the Applebee's "a garage sale exploded in a '70s parlor" decor. Exactly what I think would be on the menu at Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag.

And hot damn is it good.

Cut back to the present, and I've got a usual at Applebee's. I'd say I'm embarrassed -- but I dig this burger so much, I almost don't mind having to go to Applebee's to get one. We made a solid call on lunch today.

One more thing -- our waitress kept pushing Stella Artois on us, asking “Would you like to try Stella, the new beer from Budweiser, brewed right here in Kansas City?” Scott pointed out that this question managed to cram three falsehoods into 17 words.

• First brewed in 1926, Stella Artois is by no means new.

• Though Stella Artois is technically imported and distributed in the United States by Anheuser-Busch, it isn’t really “from Budweiser.”

• Stella Artois is not brewed here in Kansas City.

Just saying.
____________________________________
3404 Rainbow Boulevard | Kansas City, MO 66103