Archer Farms Potato Chips

If it’s a food, they’ll make it a chip.

As previously mentioned, Shaw, McHugh and I played cards at Dave’s house the other night. While Dave was supplying some growlers of beers from 75th Street Brewery, he suggested we bring some more beers and snacks. You’ll be unsurprised that nobody took us up on our offer to share in our 30-pack of Natural Light.

We brought over a few bags of intriguingly flavored Archer Farms chips from Target, too. Choosing which varieties was actually kind of overwhelming -- we settled on Buffalo Wing, General Tso and Greek-Inspired, but they’ve also got Macaroni & Cheese, Honey Barbecue Ribs, Parmesan Garlic, Maui Onion, Loaded Baked Potato, Fire-Roasted Fajita and more.

And then there’s Roasted Vegetable & Olive Oil, which we didn’t even consider for a second. I would like to posit that if you’re truly craving the taste of vegetables, maybe instead of opening a bag of chips you should think about making yourself a salad. 

The game started with 11 players. Shaw got knocked out early, after demonstrating a level of skill slightly above that as seen on Hip Hop Hold’Em -- which is to say, not much skill at all. When half the players were gone we consolidated from two tables to one and took a snack break. Here’s what we thought of the chips.

Greek-Inspired: The bag says they’re seasoned with feta cheese and kalamata olives, and that feta flavor made these far and away the crowd favorite. I think I detected a little bit of pepperoncini zing in there, as well. These were excellent.

General Tso: The back of the bag reads, “This sweet and spicy chicken dish was first served in a Chinese restaurant in 1977. Archer Farms brings you the flavors of this famous dish in a chip.” The first sentence may be true, but the second is an absolute lie. These taste like barbecue chips with a major helping of ginger and way too much salt. They also taste kind of like burnt. These were not good.

Buffalo Wing: Neither terrible nor memorable. It is time for me to accept that no wing-flavored snack will ever be a worthwhile substitute for actual wings. Chicken is necessary, although Buffalo Chicken in a Biskit or Buffalo Pork Rinds could potentially work.

Just a couple of hands after the game started up again, I got knocked out myself. The taste of bitter defeat -- it’s not an Archer Farms flavor yet, but I’d wager it probably tastes a lot like the General Tso chips.

Taco Factory

Proceed With Caution: You Are Entering a Hard Shell Area.

First things first, if you’re expecting Taco Factory to be a place like where you step up to the counter to order and then a foreman pulls a giant lever and the gears start grinding on some kind of automaton -- a tacomaton, if you will -- which then cranks out your food, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. I know this, because despite the illustration on the wall, I could totally see into the kitchen where a couple of guys were clearly making my tacos by hand. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Since Kansas City Lunch Spots already posted a fairly comprehensive review of Taco Factory, I wasn’t actually planning on writing about it when I stopped in with Shaw and McHugh. Especially since The DLC called it “a middle of the road, cheapish whitey taco place that caters to boring people and drunks.” Still, we needed something relatively quick, and Taco Factory was on our way to play some cards at Dave’s house.

I ordered three soft baja tacos -- shredded beef, shredded pork and tempura fish (all tacos are $1.99 each). Once you place your order, you take a seat and wait for your number to appear on a monitor. It kind of feels like playing Keno, or at least it does to me, keeping in mind I’ve got a strange inability to comprehend how Keno works no matter how many times people have tried to explain it.

My number came up, and I got my tacos from the kitchen window. While the tacos here are no means authentic, I’m glad to report that I thought they were pretty delicious. The beef and pork were both well seasoned and juicy, and the batter on the fish was just light enough to give the taco a satisfying internal crunch without being too heavy.

Standard toppings include lettuce, tomatoes, Monterey Jack, cilantro, red cabbage, feta and aioli sauce. It was the feta and aioli sauce that really did it for me. Alas, the hot salsa my tacos were served with had zero heat, although the aioli sauce was so good it rendered the salsa a moot point anyway.

Tacos are available either soft or crispy, and the other filling options are ground beef, chicken, ground turkey and grilled veggie. You can also get a taco plate with two tacos plus rice and beans ($5.99), but I didn’t do that, because I will go with a third taco over rice and beans any day of the week.

We split an order of chips and salsa ($2.29), as well. Again, the salsa didn’t register, but the chips were good -- not too thick and not too thin. Shaw got his tacos crispy, and said he would’ve preferred a thinner shell that was more like the chips.

Outside of tacos, Taco Factory’s menu has burritos, quesadillas, salads and more with the same filling options. Bucking convention, McHugh got a burrito ($5.49-$5.99, depending on filling). I was impressed with the robotic precision of the queso application. Maybe instead of being an automated taco factory, this place is run by taco-making cyborgs.

Another difference between Taco Factory and actual factories is that it’s super bright in here -- and if I’ve learned anything from industrial films and various propaganda, it’s that factories are soul-crushingly dank. Taco Factory is so open and well lit, it’s almost like you’re on the set of The Max.

All in all, Taco Factory is a good bet for a quick bite. And for dessert they’ve got Choco Tacos ($2.79), which I’ve always thought are awesome. I’m glad I resisted the temptation to get one tonight, however, because we stopped at QuikTrip later and I saw they’ve got Choco Tacos for $1 less. But perhaps I shouldn’t mention that -- I don’t want the Waldo Taco Cyborg Labor Union coming after me.
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7439 Broadway | Waldo, MO 64114

RA Sushi

Home of the very tasty, very awkwardly punctuated "RA"ckin' shrimp.

Travel back with me to late January 2011. The weather was cold, the year was new and Charlie Sheen was only annoying if you happened to be watching “Two and a Half Men.” Lunch Blog received an invitation to a special lunch preview of RA Sushi’s new menu, and while Robert couldn't make it, my fiancée Angela and I got to check it out.

Located at Park Place in Leawood, just north of Town Center Plaza, RA Sushi is very spacious and has a great modern feel. Also, I’ve been watching way too much HGTV.

We started off with Chicken Otoko Salad ($10), which features peppers, asparagus and fried noodle crunchies with strips of chicken cooked in a spicy yuzu dressing. I liked it, although getting the fried noodles from the plate to my mouth proved to be something of a challenge.

The other starter was the deceivingly fiery-looking Shishito Peppers ($7). They’re actually very mild -- after about three, you can feel a little heat starting to build, but the sauce is delicious and more than compensates.

Next up was an assortment of four new sushi rolls, each with an adventurous combination of flavors. Everything tasted fresh and looked sharp on the plate. The lineup was as follows:
• Vegetable Tempura Roll ($7.50): Everything is better when it's fried, and this mix of asparagus, sweet potato and Japanese eggplant is no exception. It has a slight crunch from the tempura topping, and is drizzled with a sweet eel sauce. Besides, it has to be relatively healthy, right? It’s veggies!
• Pacific Roll ($9.50): This one has a bit of spiciness within its mix of albacore, cilantro, jalapeno and cucumber. Topped with an avocado and mango salsa, red beet tempura bits and sautéed cashews, there’s a lot going on with this one but it works.
• Tropical Roll ($8.50): This roll has cucumber, mango and avocado inside, and is topped with spinach tempura, masago and mango salsa and a spicy-style shrimp. Not as flashy as the other rolls, but tasty nevertheless.
• “RA”ckin’ Roll ($13): This one was the Cadillac -- it's a crab and cream cheese mix that's battered and fried, topped with guacamole and crispy “RA”ckin’ shrimp, then garnished with a creamy ginger teriyaki sauce and red beet tempura bits. The “RA”ckin’ Roll was the big winner of the bunch.

For the main entrée, we were served the new Lobster with Garlic Sugar Snap Peas ($17.50). The lobster is sautéed with garlic and shiitake mushrooms, and the peas are a nice complement. I appreciated that they didn't go too crazy with the garlic -- just right.

Finally, for dessert we got to try some traditional Japanese ice cream via the Sweet Mochi Trio ($7.50). An assortment of mango, strawberry and vanilla ice creams in sweet rice cake shells, the kiwi and strawberry garnish along with whipped cream and chocolate makes it look cute on the plate. Like the noodles earlier, eating it was a bit challenging -- the rice cake was tricky to cut without smashing the rapidly melting ice cream into the plate. Well worth the effort, though, because it was a delight.

While we had the option to sample some of RA's new cocktails, due to the fact that we both had to go to back to work, we took a pass. If I hadn't, though, I would have definitely tried the Ginger Blossom ($8), a combination of Hendrick's Gin, St. Germain (an elderflower liqueur -- thanks Google!), ginger ale, muddled strawberries, and pink grapefruit and lime juices. And yes, I would have drank it like a pretty, pretty lady.

Thanks again to RA Sushi for the invitation.
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11638 Ash Street | Leawood, KS 66211

Dunkin' Donuts Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread

Don't trust egg whitey.

In a hurry to scoot out of the house to run some errands the other morning, I accidentally skipped breakfast so I decided to stop in at Dunkin' Donuts for the first time since they opened in KC. They've got those flatbread sandwiches that are supposed to be not entirely horrible for you, at least relative to something like a McGriddle. A delicious, delicious McGriddle.

I stepped up to the counter and ordered an Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread and an extra large cup of coffee. And feeling pretty good about that healthy decision, I went ahead and got a chocolate glazed donut, too.

Come on -- they have a wall loaded with donuts from top to bottom and it was staring me down. I blinked, and the donut wall won. Who am I to resist?

Sitting down with my food, as I unwrapped my sandwich I started to grow a little wary of it. Egg whites taste close enough to full-on eggs that I'm fine with them, but they also tend to look like the foodstuff version of a dry erase board. Plus, what with the way these egg whites contrasted against the deep green bits of spinach that were cooked in, they looked even filmier.

Curiously, despite there not being much visible sausage in the egg whites, each bite still had some sausage flavor in it. Otherwise, the sandwich was pretty bland, and the cardboardy bread certainly wasn't doing it any favors, either. Sure, it's less than 300 calories, but disappointments like this are why trying to eat healthy outside the house is no fun...

…said the guy who also got a donut. Which is me.

Alas, my donut was a letdown as well. I don't think I've had Dunkin' Donuts since I lived in Wichita, but I seem to recall the chocolate glazed donuts being way more intensely chocolate. This one, however, tasted only vaguely chocolate-ish -- like a third-tier off-brand Cocoa Puffs. At least a step below Coco Roos. (Speaking of cereal, anybody remember Dunkin' Donuts Cereal from the late '80s? I hunted around online, but couldn't find the commercial with Fred the Baker staggering out of bed because it was "time to make the little donuts.")

And while I've never confused donuts with health food, until I was writing this I had no idea one of these things weighed in at 370 calories. How long until we figure out how to make turkey chocolate?

People seem to be pretty bonkers for Dunkin' Donuts coffee, so I thought at least I'd finally get to see what all the fuss was about, but once my drink finally cooled down it didn't taste any better than your average burgerdoodle brew. After my first sip, I couldn't muster much enthusiasm for the rest of my monster cup.

Really, all this is my own fault for attempting to make a healthy choice at a fast food place. Next time I'm just going to go ahead and get the McGriddle. With hot fudge on the side for dipping.

(Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread: $2.99, chocolate glazed donut: 89 cents, extra large cup of coffee: $2.09, cereal image from Woosk.com)

Dan's Longbranch Steakhouse

Tonight's entertainment: ZZ Not.

When Shaw told me the Wednesday night specials at Dan's Longbranch Steakhouse are $5 for a pound of wings with fries and $2 domestics, I thought that sounded like it was worth checking out. Cheap wings and cheap beers are a good combination. But I got really excited when I took a look at the restaurant's website and saw that Longbranch has a pinball machine. Cheap wings and cheap beers plus pinball is a combination that's unbeatable.

I didn't even care that the machine was a pinball version of Big Buck Hunter. I'm not really big into hunting, but with pinball becoming increasingly scarce, I'll play whatever table I can find -- even if bludgeoning your prey with a heavy silver ball does seem a little severe to me.

While Shaw and I were fine with the domestic special, we had our friend Dan along with us, and since he's something of a beer nut he decided to rock some Boulevard's Bob's '47 instead. Shaw grabbed the three of us a bowl of peanuts, and we ordered our wings. Decently sized, our pound came out to nine wings total, but taste-wise I didn't catch a lot of heat off them. Not the best I've ever had, yet far from the worst.

We also each got burgers -- the chili cheeseburger for Shaw, the blue cheese burger for me, and Dan felt obligated to try Dan's Barnyard Burger. When the chili cheeseburger and the blue cheese burger arrived, I thought they looked a little skimpy on toppings. However, there was actually just enough of the good stuff on them to complement Longbranch's excellent patties, which may have otherwise been overwhelmed. The blue cheese burger came with some habanero sauce that gave it a nice bit of zip, too.

As for Dan's Barnyard Burger, topping overload is clearly the point. I think you know what you're getting into when you order a burger with a fried egg, three slices of cheese and three strips of bacon.

After we finished our burgers and settled up, we went in search of the pinball machine and wandered over to The Branch, the bar that's connected to Dan's Longbranch Steakhouse. A cover band was playing, and it was much more hopping over there than on the restaurant side. Although the pinball machine turned out to be Pirates of the Caribbean rather than Big Buck Hunter, alas, it wasn't switched on. Still, we decided to hang out for a couple more beers.

Didn't catch the band's name -- the website says Samantha Fish plays every Wednesday but she must've had this week off, as I'm fairly certain none of these three guys were Samantha Fish. In the six or seven songs we heard, they did ZZ Top's “Sharp Dressed Man,” “La Grange” and “Tush,” as well as Lynyrd Skynyrd's “Free Bird.”

The Branch was pretty busy for a Wednesday, and it looked there were a lot of regulars. In fact, I'm not sure anybody there realized it was a weeknight. I bet the Saturday night karaoke jam there is insane.
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9095 Metcalf Avenue | Overland Park, KS 66212

Boogie vs. the Whatafarm

Meet Boogie the Chubby Asian. He conquered the Whatafarm over the weekend, and even used our diagram to order it. Check out the video of his adventure below.

After watching this, I can feel the initial pangs of a Whatafarm crave coming on. It's been about a year since my last one. Medically speaking, eating more than one Whatafarm within a given 12-month period is not advisable.



Best line of the video: "And also -- vegetables." Congrats on your Whatafarm domination, Boogie! We salute you.

Apparently, you don't even need the diagram to order a Whatafarm at certain Whataburgers, as Boogie notes on his YouTube page that "some locations actually know it by name." I would love to see that transaction.

KC people -- is Winstead's our best bet for creating a monster like this in our city?

Lunch Blog Goes to Fat City: Days 4 & 5

The biggest perk of guesting at Fat City last week? While talking to the Jack in the Box PR department, I scored an invitation to preview night, and you know I couldn't miss that.

It took Kelly and I like an hour to get there, though -- somehow we hit three construction zones, plus a wreck had the highway backed up. But the important thing is I got to have a couple of Jack in the Box tacos.

Here are the rest of my posts from the week.

• Fast food mascot Halloween costumes that aren't for kids
• Boulevard's Nutcracker Ale is an early Christmas present
• Scarrots are a trick just asking for a treat
• Wine and candy: pretty sweet
• Jack in the Box springs into action on Monday
• Market 3's grand opening is tomorrow
• How do you like your pumpkin seeds?