Monday, January 24, 2011

Dunkin' Donuts Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread

Don't trust egg whitey.

In a hurry to scoot out of the house to run some errands the other morning, I accidentally skipped breakfast so I decided to stop in at Dunkin' Donuts for the first time since they opened in KC. They've got those flatbread sandwiches that are supposed to be not entirely horrible for you, at least relative to something like a McGriddle. A delicious, delicious McGriddle.

I stepped up to the counter and ordered an Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread and an extra large cup of coffee. And feeling pretty good about that healthy decision, I went ahead and got a chocolate glazed donut, too.

Come on -- they have a wall loaded with donuts from top to bottom and it was staring me down. I blinked, and the donut wall won. Who am I to resist?

Sitting down with my food, as I unwrapped my sandwich I started to grow a little wary of it. Egg whites taste close enough to full-on eggs that I'm fine with them, but they also tend to look like the foodstuff version of a dry erase board. Plus, what with the way these egg whites contrasted against the deep green bits of spinach that were cooked in, they looked even filmier.

Curiously, despite there not being much visible sausage in the egg whites, each bite still had some sausage flavor in it. Otherwise, the sandwich was pretty bland, and the cardboardy bread certainly wasn't doing it any favors, either. Sure, it's less than 300 calories, but disappointments like this are why trying to eat healthy outside the house is no fun...

…said the guy who also got a donut. Which is me.

Alas, my donut was a letdown as well. I don't think I've had Dunkin' Donuts since I lived in Wichita, but I seem to recall the chocolate glazed donuts being way more intensely chocolate. This one, however, tasted only vaguely chocolate-ish -- like a third-tier off-brand Cocoa Puffs. At least a step below Coco Roos. (Speaking of cereal, anybody remember Dunkin' Donuts Cereal from the late '80s? I hunted around online, but couldn't find the commercial with Fred the Baker staggering out of bed because it was "time to make the little donuts.")

And while I've never confused donuts with health food, until I was writing this I had no idea one of these things weighed in at 370 calories. How long until we figure out how to make turkey chocolate?

People seem to be pretty bonkers for Dunkin' Donuts coffee, so I thought at least I'd finally get to see what all the fuss was about, but once my drink finally cooled down it didn't taste any better than your average burgerdoodle brew. After my first sip, I couldn't muster much enthusiasm for the rest of my monster cup.

Really, all this is my own fault for attempting to make a healthy choice at a fast food place. Next time I'm just going to go ahead and get the McGriddle. With hot fudge on the side for dipping.

(Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread: $2.99, chocolate glazed donut: 89 cents, extra large cup of coffee: $2.09, cereal image from


  1. Hilarious!!!!! And there goes me trying the new sandwich. They almost had me, too. Thanks for saving me the trouble, Robert.

  2. You chose poorly. I always get the French vanilla coffee with milk. Sometimes I'll have a berry bagel or cheese twist. I can't remember the last time I actually got a donut at Dunkin Donuts.

  3. That is too funny. Something about the word turkey sausage that scared me off.