Baylee's

Freshman burger phenom.

The very day we were trying to figure out a spot for Guys’ Night in April, I found a menu for Baylee’s in my mailbox. Printed on lime green paper with extensive use of a scripty pixilated mystery font, how could we resist its charms? Plus, the menu promised Cincinnati Chili. Sold.

We put Guys’ Night on the calendar for the evening of the NCAA 2009 Men’s Tournament championship game, so we could mourn our busted brackets over some cheap beers. Even though domestics were on special for $2, pitchers turned out to be a better deal -- and they had the kind of pitcher that has the built-in icy core, too. Pitcher technology has come a long way since I had a fake ID.

Baylee’s is so new, the sign says "Est. 2009." When we walked through the door, the waitress seemed genuinely surprised to see us -- in fact, we were the only paying customers all night. I’m guessing that’s mostly because the place just opened. The waitress told us Baylee’s gets pretty busy on the weekends.

The Monday food special is 50 cent wings, and we ordered a bunch of those. McHugh made a clutch call and also ordered some pepper jack fried cheese sticks, which were spicy, melty fantastic. Alas, the wings were fine, but indistinguishable from those elsewhere.

Dorsett hadn’t read the description of the fried cheese on the menu, so we were all impressed when he took a bite of the crunchy breadcrumb coating and asked, “Is that Panko?” For his keen observation, Dorsett is hereby nominated for Iron Chef Bar Food.

For the Cincinnati Chili, we ordered it 5 Way, which is chili, angel hair, grated cheese, onion and pinto beans. When we got it, we saw that Baylee’s actually uses spaghetti -- only after some online sleuthing did I learn this is the traditional way to make Cincinnati Chili.

While it had a good cinnamon-nony taste, and even though I really wanted to be a fan of the Cincinnati Chili, ultimately I can’t say that I am. What it comes down to is that there isn’t enough thickness and meat to the chili portion. And yes, I understand that Cincinnati Chili is supposed to have a thin consistency, but this was more like spaghetti soup.

I will concede that the problem may not be Baylee’s take on Cincinnati Chili -- it is completely within the realm of possibility that I have fundamental issues with Cincinnati Chili overall. Maybe I’m just a rookie. Maybe a true connoisseur would dig the Cincinnati Chili at Baylee’s. Maybe to try Cincinnati Chili proper I actually need to go to Cincinnati.

The Baylee Burger, however, was a slam dunk. According to the menu, it’s hand pattied thin and cooked on a flat top. The burger came on a grilled bun with super-fresh toppings, and when we put it all together it was total burger harmony. Probably the closest I’ve come to Whataburger around here, which I mean as a compliment. Really good fries, too. Kind of a combination of the fries at Oklahoma Joe’s and Long John Silvers. Yes, that is a compliment as well.

For the burger alone, I’ll cut Baylee’s some slack and plan on checking it out again in a couple of months to see what the bar is like after it’s been lived in a little. I mean, compared to some other places, there are barely even any neon beer signs or other paraphernalia cluttering up the walls here yet, which kind of gives Baylee’s a strange vibe that’s more like a showroom where you can go and pick out fixtures for your bar rather than a bar itself.

As for the game, due to being mathematically eliminated from all my March Madness pools, I was pulling for Michigan State since they beat KU and if we’re going to get knocked out of the tournament, we might as well get knocked out by the best, right? I like the way Wendy Molyneux sums up that line of thinking -- “Like getting punched in the face and being like, ‘But that guy punches everyone in the face! It's okay!’”

March Madness 2009 has been over for a week. Only 333 days until Selection Sunday for March Madness 2010.
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13023 Holmes Road | Kansas City, MO 64145

Road Trip: Salt Lake City

Breaking News: Food Network passes on pilot for "Shaw Eats Utah."

I’d been meaning to go hang out with my sister Liz in Salt Lake City for quite awhile now, so when I found out my brother John was heading that way for a visit over his birthday weekend, I got my act together and made plans to join them.

Sure enough, it was a blast. I got to experience the bureaucracy of SLC nightlife and even go skiing for the first time in years -- where I discovered that while technique may come back quickly, muscles do not. And, of course, I also had a few bites to eat. All but one of these places were even in the Salt Lake City Weekly's "Best of Utah 2009" issue.


Pat’s BBQ
After a day of skiing, some heavy calories were called for, and we met up with Liz’s friend JJ at Pat’s BBQ to partake in some of the famous-osity that are Pat’s ribs. We managed to convince Liz to upgrade her usual 1/4 rack order to a half rack so we could all sample the goods. The rest of us ordered the 1/2 lb. pulled pork & 1/2 lb. brisket combo.

The ribs are indeed the real star at Pat’s BBQ -- just an incredible peppery smoky taste that didn’t need any embellishment from the two accompanying barbecue sauces. The pulled pork was fantastic and tender, and the brisket was good as well, but clearly outshined by everything else. Truth be told, I didn’t even feel the need to try the sauces until I was nearing the end of my brisket slices. Pat’s smoke and rub is more than enough to give everything plenty of flavor.

We also sampled a wide range of sides. Baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad and something called meaty gravy and rice, which is pulled pork over rice in a thin, clear sauce. While I questioned Liz’s choice of getting the cole slaw -- because really, when was the last time cole slaw was anything besides filler? -- I was proven wrong by the zesty yellow-tinged concoction that arrived. Yes, it was damn fine slaw.

In fact, everything we had was top notch, including the service. And if you’re lamenting the fact you may never get to try such craftsmanship since you don’t have a reason to go to Utah, there was ample evidence that Pat’s BBQ takes the show on the road to the American Royal Barbecue competition right here in KC.


Blue Plate Diner
For breakfast, Liz recommended the Blue Plate Diner, an old school eatery that seems almost as much of a house as a restaurant. We were able to get seated right away and take a look at the menu, which bounces between classic greasy spoon and trendier modern offerings.

While I agonized over my decision -- the biscuits and gravy being an early frontrunner -- Liz ordered eggs benedict and John chose a verde omelet. I ultimately opted for the spinach, mushroom and avocado variant of the eggs benedict, keeping in mind the heavier fare we’d be having later in the day.

The food came out relatively quick, but I was soon let down by the blandness of the hollandaise. The flavors all worked well together -- although some bacon would’ve really kicked the taste up a few levels. Liz’s standard eggs benedict had the same hollandaise problem. John’s omelet looked deceptively sedate until we discovered the beige gravy had an unexpected kick. Each dish came with some of the best home fries I've ever tasted.

Overall, a better than average breakfast, but I can’t help thinking the biscuits and gravy would have been a better choice, or at least a more accurate indicator of what the Blue Plate Diner can do.


Moochie’s & Brewvies
Moochie’s was one of the few places I’d checked out online before I headed to SLC, and one of the “must eats” on my list. Renowned for cheesesteaks and meatball subs, Moochie’s is fast, too. We ordered a six-inch of each to go, and were out of there within minutes. We would’ve asked for our sandwiches to be cut into thirds, but we were running tight on time -- we didn’t want to throw off Moochie’s carefully honed system and become the source of a sandwich breakdown.

We took our sandwiches and moved on to Brewvies for an afternoon showing of "Taken." Brewvies sports two theaters as well as a good-sized front bar area with pool tables and video games. Prices are very reasonable -- $3 per ticket for the first show of the day, $8 for a pitcher of Bud Light -- and the seating is spacious with each row of seats providing a low-lit narrow table/ledge to hold your drinks and food. There are also couches and tables in the back if you want to get your sprawl on.

Due to the thickness of the bread and an especially messy meatball, we had a bit of a challenge cutting the sandwiches with the plastic knives we’d picked up at Moochie’s -- but we did it. The meatball sub had a real spicy goodness, while the cheesesteak was just okay, and probably a little too salty. I wish we’d had time to eat them at Moochie’s instead to having to rush to Brewvies. I’d for sure like to make a Moochie’s return trip for more in-depth research.


Apollo Burger vs. Crown Burger
I spotted both these joints on the way to Liz’s house from the airport, and was excited to find out Crown Burger was the Salt Lake City Weekly's #1 pick. Apollo Burger didn’t even place. But as we are discerning eaters capable of making up our own minds, we decided to bring back two burgers and fries from each to conduct our own head-to-head taste competition at Liz’s apartment.

First we went to fetch some Apollo Burger, which made a strong impression with its authentic early ‘70s décor and big green leather booths. We went with the signature Apollo Burger, which is a cheeseburger with pastrami, as well as the Western Bacon Cheeseburger. $11 total.

At Crown Burger (no website), we took the drive thru since we already had our Apollo Burger order and didn’t want it to get cold. We got a Crown Burger, which is also a cheeseburger with pastrami, and a Double Bacon Cheeseburger -- the touted winner of the best burger in town. Those two burgers with fries came to $15.

Back at Liz’s, we started with the Apollo Burger, then the Crown Burger, followed by the Western Bacon Cheeseburger, and ending on the Double Bacon Cheeseburger. After the carnage, our consensus was that the Crown Burger beats the others with superior pastrami and flavor, not to mention appearance and structural integrity.

The Western Bacon Cheeseburger was the universal loser, even proving inedible to one of our testers. When we unwrapped it, Liz said, “I’m already not looking forward to it.” While we were cleaning up, John asked, “You have somewhere to throw this out? You don’t want this left in your apartment.”

In the end, Apollo put up a decent effort -- but Crown took ‘em down like Drago, not even breaking a sweat.

Red Iguana
Outstanding. That’s really the only word that can describe the Red Iguana. There’s a reason this place is listed as one of the top restaurants in SLC, and it starts with seven -- seven! -- different kinds of mole.

Red Iguana is the kind of eatery where you may never get around to trying a taco because you can’t pass up their specialty items. John got the Puntas de Filete a la Norteña, which are sirloin tips tossed with bacon, jalapenos, onions and tomatoes served over an almond mole that consists of almonds, chiles, zucchini, milk, peanut butter and onions.

I ordered the Lomo de Puerco, which is a roasted rolled pork loin stuffed with dried fruit, swiss chard and sun-dried tomatoes, sliced and served over the aforementioned almond mole. Liz went low-key with the carne asada burritos, but even that seemingly straightforward dish was incredible.

Directly after lunch my siblings dropped me off at the airport and headed back into the mountains for another round of skiing.

If only I had more time. More time to sample all of the moles.

Er, I mean hang with the family.
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Big thanks to Liz, Scott (in absentia), JJ, Buddy, Claire, Kevin, Mike, Anika, and the guy who gave us a ride up to Alta for all their hospitality.

Ugly Joe’s Sports Bar & Grill

And yo momma, too.

Guys’ Night this month was at Ugly Joe’s, where the Monday special is half-price appetizers. That was good news for us, since we always appreciate the chance to tackle some variety. The even better news was that Monday is $5 cheap domestic pitcher night, too. Because my mom was in town for the weekend and her flight home had been delayed, she got to join us for the fun.

With four kinds of Baby Burgers on the menu’s appetizer section, you know we had to try those. You can order either a regular six-pack of straight-up classic burgers, or you can go with the Home Run Baby Burgers platter, where you get two each of three miniaturized versions of some of the other ones that Ugly Joe’s has:

• Buckeyes: “Smothered with Sautéed Mushrooms & Melted Swiss”
• Burners: “Covered with Melted Jack Cheese, Jalapenos & Spicy Buffalo Sauce”
• Hawkeyes: “Topped with Crisp Bacon & Melted Cheddar”

Tiny burgers must be the late 2000’s equivalent of the jalapeno popper. For a while you could find them only at certain restaurants, and they made for a delicious novelty. Then at some point, word got out. Now every place has them, and whether or not they can do them well is another story altogether.

At Ugly Joe’s, the standard Baby Burgers are squarely middle of the pack, and across the board the bun-to-burger ratio is skewed unfavorably toward the bun. My first impression of the Buckeye was that the mushrooms and swiss cheese would be a little fancy to be any good in tiny burger form, so I was surprised that it actually turned out to be my favorite. Meanwhile, the Burner put in a weak showing with no buffalo sauce to be found. The bacon-powered Hawkeye was like Denzel Washington in any movie: Shows up and does exactly what you expect. Not really incredible, but always good.

All the Baby Burgers come with Burger Sauce on the side. The name Burger Sauce really grossed Robert out. We think Burger Sauce might be something close to A1.

Of course, we ordered up some wings, too. The Ugly Joe’s sauce we enjoyed the most was the Montana Style. Described on the menu as “BBQ, Buffalo & Secret Ingredients,” not only was it spicy and delicious, but it was pretty unique. The traditional Buffalo was also very well done, balancing heat with flavor. Ugly Joe knows his stuff in the wing department. Next time we’ll have to try the Spicy Honey BBQ and the Teriyaki.

This doubled as an expedition for BarQuest, the ongoing mission to find a decent neighborhood dive to hang out at in Robert’s neighborhood. While Ugly Joe’s has good food and plenty of space and TVs, it’s somewhat more spacious and bright than we’d like -- a certain amount of dank is mandatory. Plus, the place is way too sports-focused for everyday hanging out. Admittedly that doesn’t take much for the Lunch Bloggers, but this felt kind of like taking down beers at a Dick’s Sporting Goods.

By the way, my mom ordered the nachos and said they were tasty, but what she especially enjoyed was the opportunity to hang out with the guys. Come back anytime, mom -- great to have you along.
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1227 West 103rd Street | Kansas City, MO 64114

NCAA Opening Round Munchies: Sprint Center 1/2 Lb. KC BBQ Dog + Grinders Tacos

March Madness -- it’s not always pretty.

Went to the first day of the 2009 NCAA Tournament's opening round at the Sprint Center with some friends on Thursday, and grabbed lunch while I was there. Now I don’t know for sure that during the construction of the Sprint Center there was an ongoing top-secret development process underway to create a signature Kansas City-related menu item, but I like to think there was. And whoever said “let’s just throw some brisket on an unnecessarily large hot dog” deserves a raise.

The 1/2 Lb. KC BBQ Dog is a ridiculously huge all beef hot dog, topped with brisket plus onion straws and “famous” barbecue sauce. About the only thing that could make it more Kansas City is if the sauce was from Arthur Bryant’s or Gates or one of the other estimated 17 gazillion barbecue joints here in town, rather than being a sauce vaguely called “famous.” Which I’m pretty sure is code for “we buy it by the vatful.” Keeping in mind that arena food is always overpriced, at $8 I don’t feel like I got fleeced too bad, either. Not so much with my $4 soda.

Between sessions we went to Grinders, and I got the Thursday special of three for a dollar tacos. I knew they’d be fantastic when the waitress told me they were taking a while because they were “still on the grill.” Grilled tacos!

Sure enough, they were way delicious. Even though the tacos are grilled, they actually come out pretty soft, filled with seasoned taco meat and melted cheese -- picture a floppy quesadilla. This is about the closest I’ve come to Amigos soft tacos since that outfit closed up shop around here.

Finally, here is some expert Lunch Blog tournament commentary -- and by “expert,” we mean it’s all about the mascots and pep bands.

• There was no way the Maryland Terrapins weren’t going to win -- they had turtle power! Seriously, Testudo the Diamondback Turtle busted out some sweet moves every time the pep band played the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” theme. Meanwhile, the California Golden Bear was just kind of aimlessly meandering around with his hands behind his back. Lame. I hate the California Golden Bear.
• Pep Band of the Day goes to the Morgan State Bear Pep Band -- they turned up the funk and went band camp all over Estelle’s “American Boy” and others. Mad grooves and so much fun to watch, especially the guys rocking the cymbals. If I was in a kung fu movie, I’d want them to be my soundtrack. The Morgan State Bear even breakdanced. (Brokedanced?)
• In a fight between Pouncer the Tiger from Memphis and the Clemson Tiger, the Clemson Tiger would win. However, in a dance-off, it’s Pouncer, no contest.
• Note to the CSU Northridge pep band: “Handlebars” by Flobots is an intriguing choice, but it’s not working for you guys. Also, your mascot Matty the Matador and Jay Leno are one and the same.
  

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Grinders: 417 East 18th St. | Kansas City, MO 64108

BK Burger Shots + BK Tacos

Boldly breaking the $10 BK Barrier.

En route to Burger King to get some BK Burger Shots, Nick and I started reminiscing about BK Tacos. They were kind of like those mini-taco appetizers you can get at some T.G.I. McGillicutty’s-type establishments, but greasier and in full-size taco form. Turned out Nick was a fan of BK Tacos as well, and we lamented how they were cruelly discontinued in the KC region.

Moments after we got in line, Nick pointed to the BK Favorites menu and simply said, “Tacos.” Sixth Street Lawrence Burger King, I love you.

That’s how I ended up northwards of $10 for lunch at Burger King. One order of tacos, plus a six-pack of Burger Shots with cheese combo, which I upsized so I could take the monster soda back to work with me. Total: $10.17. There was a surprise bonus onion ring in my Frypod -- maybe that’s my reward for dropping a Hamilton.

The Burger Shots weren’t bad, but they’re not going to satisfy any cravings for White Castle or Krystal sliders. They’re actually just your standard BK cheeseburgers, all tinyfied. Same unmistakable BK flame-broiled taste. Burger Shots come in a six-pack (too many) and a two-pack (too few). King, I humbly beseech ye for a Double Stacker Burger Shot or a Loaded Steakhouse Burger Shot.

The tacos, however, were as awesome as I remember. BK Tacos are a fried taco shell filled with like a ground beef meat paste, lettuce, a slice of cheese (not shredded but a slice), and hot sauce. They’re neither truly a hard nor a soft taco -- even though the wrapper says “crispy,” that’s really only true around the edges. The closer you get to the middle, the taco gets deliciously chewy.

The deal is, either you’re on board with BK Tacos or you’re not. I’ll admit, the first time I tried them was out of pure curiosity -- but man if I didn’t dig them. Back then they were priced at $1.09 for two.

Now an order of two BK Tacos costs $1.99. And they will only sell them to you two at a time. Want three? Too bad. Buy four and throw one away. I understand these are pretty much the same tacos you can get at Jack in the Box, although I couldn’t say for sure since we don’t have Jack in the Boxes around here.

On the way out, Nick picked up a Burger King crown. Printed on the inside are rules for BK-related games you can play -- none of which are a Burger Shots Eat-Off. I’d be all over that.

The Whatafarm

Dreams come true.

As chronicled here, my previous attempt to get a Whatafarm resulted in the lady at the counter looking at me like I was a total wackjob -- she had zero idea what I was talking about.

And why should she? It turned out that the Whatafarm isn’t an actual menu item. Rather, it’s a burger Frankensteined together from parts of other sandwiches -- burger patty, fried chicken breast, bacon and a fried egg. But thanks to the Whataburger company philosophy of “Just Like You Like It,” while you can’t order a Whatafarm by name, they’ll still make it for you. You just have to tell them how.

So now knowing the full story, I drew a diagram to take with me, and made plans to go to Whataburger on Sunday morning with my sister Charlotte and cousin Corry during my most recent trip to Louisiana. (You have to go during breakfast hours to get the fried egg.)

“Hello,” the cashier greeted us when we walked in. “Welcome to Whataburger.”

“Hello,” I said. We locked eyes intensely -- she knew I meant business. I precisely withdrew the diagram from my classy leather portfolio, placed it on the counter, paused briefly for effect, and then slid it toward her with authority. “We’d like three of these, please.” This may have all been followed with a sideways head nod for even greater emphasis.

The cashier called somebody else to the front, and I feared this was all about to go south, but really she just needed help figuring out how to ring up the sandwich. She ended up doing it as a Whataburger, add cheese, bacon, a chicken filet and egg. The grand total for one Whatafarm plus tax was $7.70.

She also complimented my diagram.

The entire time our sandwiches were being made, there was one guy in the back giving me crazy eyes. He seemed to be waging an internal battle as whether or not to state his conscientious objection to the very notion of the Whatafarm -- for like Skynet, just because you can build something doesn’t mean you should. It could destroy us all!

And then on top of that, he was starting to get angry that he even had to wrestle with this ridiculous sandwich-related moral dilemma -- hence the crazy eyes. Or at least that’s what I think was going on in his head.

The two employees that brought us our Whatafarms stood by to watch the grand unveiling -- mine was so huge I could barely take a bite. We didn’t specifically ask for veggies, but that’s how they made them, and I think that really enhanced the overall “an entire farm in a burger” experience. Bravo.

When those two employees went on break a few minutes later, they totally ordered themselves a couple of Whatafarms of their own. We all agreed -- the Whatafarm is delicious.

But of course it’s delicious. It’s a burger plus fried chicken plus bacon. Only the fried egg might some find questionable. Personally, I’m a fan of fried eggs on burgers.

This was a long time coming. So was the Whatafarm awesome? Yes, it was awesome. Was the Whatafarm worth the wait? Yes, it was worth the wait.

I will never order one again.
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Lunch Blog would like to take this opportunity to give much-deserved credit to alanbeam.net -- true creators of the Whatafarm. You are men of great vision, and we salute you.

KenTacoHut, the Famous Bowl & the KFC Big Box Meal

Talk about an Appetite for Destruction.

[Note: Many of the events chronicled here took place the day Chinese Democracy came out, Sunday, Nov. 23, 2008 -- also the date I started writing this post. So while what follows is by no means timely, the delay is kind of appropriate, all things considered.]

I’d been waiting for this day since my junior year at East High. Back then, Use Your Illusion I & II were pretty much the soundtrack to lunch. We’d crank those albums as we headed to one of our usual spots, top three in the rotation being Taco Bell, KFC, and Dog & Shake (the latter a Wichita, Kan. favorite). So to properly commemorate the release of Chinese Democracy -- “Music’s Most Anticipated Album EVER” -- step two had to be grabbing something to eat at KenTacoHut.

If only there was such a thing as a KenTacoDog&Shake. If only.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. What was step one of the proper commemoration, you ask? Enjoying some Ten High, the preferred bourbon of high schoolers everywhere. Shaw and I conquered this task in the Best Buy parking lot before we went in to get my copy of Chinese Democracy. (On vinyl, thank you.) I was surprised to see there wasn't a line at Best Buy -- I thought for sure we'd have to wait around at least a little bit what with Chinese Democracy nearly 15 years in the making. Not so much. Since we had a little extra time before KenTacoHut opened, we took the opportunity to conquer step one again.

There was already one guy outside KenTacoHut when we got there, waiting to pick up like a dozen buckets of the Colonel’s legacy for a Chiefs tailgate party. Thus, at least in Overland Park this Sunday morning, there was a greater demand for KFC then GNR. OPKS, you are not a city of rock.

Once they let us in and dude had his chicken, I stepped up to the KFC counter and ordered a Famous Bowl. That’s Popcorn Chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, and cheese all layered in a bowl together. I’d had a morbid curiosity about this thing for a while.

Clearly the most likely explanation for the origin of the Famous Bowl is that a bunch of KFC bigwigs used dark magic to conjure forth the Colonel from the great beyond so that they might seek his guidance, to which the Colonel -- now undead and none too happy about it -- said, “I say now boy, just put a bunch of stuff in a bowl, you hear?,” right before he ate the brains of all but one survivor who lived to tell the tale. The Famous Bowl is that sinister.

On the other hand, there is Popcorn Chicken in it and that’s delicious, so how bad could the Famous Bowl be?

The answer is that the Famous Bowl was surprisingly tasty. For four bites. And then it all went to hell. The Popcorn Chicken turned soggy and the chicken-potato-gravy ratio got hopelessly thrown out of whack and it was just no good. Which is too bad because the Famous Bowl is kind of big -- you’re going to end up with a lot left.

KFC, against my better judgment I might be compelled to try your Famous Bowl a second time if you came out a smaller version, like about the size of a pudding cup. You could call it the B-List Famous Bowl. Or make people order it Child Star Sized.

Shaw and I ended up taking turns holding big sporkfuls of our leftover Famous Bowls upside down to see how long it would take for gravity to do its business. We topped out close to 30 seconds.

Feeling like I needed to take advantage of more that KenTacoHut had to offer, I also ordered a Chili Cheese Burrito and a Volcano Taco from Taco Bell, and quickly learned a valuable lesson -- it’s probably not the best idea to go to Taco Bell before noon, and you certainly never want to be the first order of the day. Taco Bell needs a little bit of time to warm up and find its groove.

Earlier while waiting for our food, we took notice of a display hawking the KFC Big Box Meal. It consists of:

• Your choice of a drumstick or thigh, either Original Recipe or Extra Crispy
• Whatever variety of KFC Snacker you want
• Two Original Recipe Crispy Strips
• Two sides, a biscuit and a large drink
  

Three days later on Thanksgiving Eve with nowhere better to go for lunch, we found ourselves at a different KFC ready to check that action out.

We each got it with an Original Recipe thigh and a Buffalo KFC Snacker. It was good. As well it should be -- it’s a box full of fried chicken-related awesomeness. Even if we agreed that the thigh was the weak link in all this.

See, in the KFC Big Box Meal, you’ve already got a KFC Snacker plus Crispy Strips and a couple of different sauces to dip them in. If KFC wants its actual traditional fried chicken to come off as anything more than a greasy afterthought, they need to give you a fried chicken breast, or at least two pieces like a drumstick and a thigh, or maybe two drumsticks. Not two thighs, though -- somehow it seems like that would be even more unremarkable.

For a solitary thigh or drumstick cannot hold its own all by itself -- it’s just not enough to make an impact. To truly function at full capacity, it needs to accompany another piece of bone-in fried chicken. I would’ve happily traded in the thigh for a few bites of Popcorn Chicken.

The sides were good -- we both went with mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. However, we must note that in the world of fast food fried chicken side dishes, they’re all completely owned by the red beans and rice at Popeyes.

Make no mistake, we’re fans of the KFC Big Box Meal. Quite frankly, what it all boils down to is that we’re suckers for ridiculous quantities of food that comes in a box. It’s like a Happy Meal for adults. The only thing missing is a cool toy surprise to distract you from thinking about the fact that in one sitting you just ate like a total of nine chickens.

That said, if KFC wanted to throw a Child Star Sized Famous Bowl in the box, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed.
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KenTacoHut: 7100 West 119th Street | Overland Park, KS 66213