Lunch Blog

Jammie Dodgers (U.K. Snacks, Part 1)

2011-12-23T11:31:00.000-06:00

A nerd’s got to eat.

I had a list of souvenirs I needed to bring back from the U.K. -- Englandy toys for the kids, some kind of William & Kate bric-a-brac for Kelly, and so forth. But more important than all of that, I needed to get my hands on some Jammie Dodgers.

Jammie Dodgers are the Eleventh Doctor’s favorite snack, and I wanted to bring back enough to have a stash on hand -- at least enough to last me until this year's Doctor Who Christmas special. And when I found them on the shelf at Tesco, I discovered there’s such a thing as Toffee Dodgers too, so double score.

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Lunch Blog in the UK, Part 3: The Prince of Wales

2011-12-16T08:02:00.001-06:00

Monarchy eats free on Tuesdays.

It’s no secret that British food has a justly deserved reputation as being less than stellar. However, at The Prince of Wales, they will totally give you fried cheese as an entrée, and I am 100% on board with that.

But first, the appetizers. Today’s special was Haggis & Macaroni Bites, which I incorrectly took to mean as haggis served alongside macaroni bites. Since I’ve never had haggis before, I was excited to try it, but this turned out to be little nuggets of haggis and pasta fried up together.

So while I still don’t rightly know what haggis tastes like, these went to show once again that you can fry anything and it’ll taste just fine. Even more so if you put a whisky sauce on it.
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Parisi Café at Union Station

2011-12-01T13:32:00.001-06:00

Let’s hop aboard the coffee train.

Robert and I recently attended a tasting event at Parisi Café. Located in Union Station, this is Parisi Artisan Coffee’s first venture into the restaurant business, and it opened in September. Now while I don’t know much about coffee, I do know plenty about sandwiches, so I was excited to try the food.

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Lunch Blog in the UK, Part 2: Café Rouge

2011-11-17T08:44:00.029-06:00

"Hey brother, can you spare some change for a down payment on a croissant?”

Since it’s right by the London Underground station, Chris and I stopped at Café Rouge on Tottenham Court Road for breakfast. My croque madame was tasty. I also had a rather delicious Americano, because, hey, I’m American, and regular coffee isn’t on the menu anyway.

But what I really want to talk about is the bum that was there.

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30 Rock's Buffalo Chicken Shake

2011-11-08T08:48:00.028-06:00

All that wingy deliciousness, now with significantly less of that annoying chewing.

As previously mentioned, WGN America invited me to New York for a 30 Rock Superfan roundtable last month. However, they had an ulterior motive for extending an invitation to this Superfan in particular -- three days before I flew out, WGN America issued me a challenge.

Make the Buffalo Chicken Shake.

You read that right -- the Buffalo Chicken Shake. It's from the beginning of the 30 Rock episode "Khonani." Liz Lemon sees a sign on the door of a restaurant that says "The Buffalo Chicken Shake Is Back!" It’s onscreen for maybe three seconds. I told WGN America that clearly when 30 Rock’s writers put that sign in the show, what they were doing was daring me to make the Buffalo Chicken Shake a real thing. I accepted the challenge.

Here’s the video from WGN America of me and 30 Rock writer Tracey Wigfield making the shake. Keep reading after for the recipe and how I came up with it.

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Fast Food Mascot Halloween Costumes That Aren't For Kids

2011-10-31T17:11:00.003-05:00

Shaw did some new illustrations for this guest post I wrote for The Pitch's Fat City last Halloween. Enjoy...if you dare.

Ronald McDonald is a friend to all children. Ronald McDonald with an ax? Not so much. Here are five Halloween costume ideas based on fast food mascots and how to make them.  

5. Wendy the Roller Warrior: Rebelling against the wishes of her father, Dave Thomas, Wendy is trading in old-fashioned hamburgers for a life on the track. Who knew she was such a badass?

Dress like Wendy, and add elbow pads, knee pads, a helmet and roller skates. Or, to go a more traditional Halloween route, just be Slutty Wendy.

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Lunch Blog in the UK, Part 1: The Jack Horner

2011-10-25T12:11:00.000-05:00

Here we go, guv’nor.

So I got to go to London the other week for my job. I believe the official reason I was selected for the trip was because my agency wanted to send our foremost expert on both Doctor Who and British Alternative Rock of the ‘80s & Early ‘90s. (Who’s got two thumbs and is totally psyched for The Stone Roses reunion next year? This guy!)

And since I was going, of course I’d have to make a point of checking out some of the native cuisine -- even though it’s frequently described as “lousy.” Before I left for my trip, I figured British food had probably just caught a bad rap. But then I saw “mushy peas” on a menu and I realized they’re not even trying to make their food sound good.

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Lunch Blog & 30 Rock on WGN America

2011-10-17T14:30:00.004-05:00

As seen on TV!

If you’ve checked out our recipe for Cheesy Blasters, you know that we here at Lunch Blog are 30 Rock Superfans. As such, WGN America recently invited me to New York for a 30 Rock Superfans roundtable. While I was there, we filmed a bunch of spots and other stuff that'll be appearing in the next few weeks.

The roundtable was all kinds of awesome. I got to hang out with 30 Rock writer Tracey Wigfield, plus a couple of my fellow Superfans, Nancy Alligood and Michael Wandling.

And as you can see above, I also got to meet Katrina Bowden, who plays Cerie on the show. Just look at that picture of the two of us -- she’s so into me, it’s embarrassing.

More 30 Rock action is coming up here at Lunch Blog and on WGN America. Don’t you want to go to our Facebook pages and “like” them so you don’t miss any of the action?

Plus, you can subscribe to the 30 Rock Superfans YouTube Channel and be notified when new videos debut -- including a cooking segment with me and Tracey making the Buffalo Chicken Shake. Here's a preview.

In the meantime, take a look at some of Lunch Blog’s greatest hits over in the Popular Posts on the sidebar. I think we can all agree that Liz Lemon would be a big fan of Carny Surprise.

Thanks for visiting Lunch Blog!

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Catch 30 Rock on WGN America! The show airs:

Mondays, with four episodes back-to-back starting at 7 p.m. CST
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays with two episodes starting at 7 p.m. CST
Every night Monday through Saturday, with an episode at 10 p.m. CST
Sundays, with an episode at 6 p.m. CST

Big thanks to WGN America and Story Worldwide for flying me out to New York. I sure am happy this whole thing didn’t turn out to be an elaborate organ-thieving scheme.

Walsh’s Corner Cocktails

2011-08-31T11:32:00.012-05:00

The shuffleboard is free. The beers aren’t much more.

The worst answer you can get when you ask what the night’s drink specials are, is that there aren’t any. Unless your server follows that answer with these four beautiful words: “It’s all pretty cheap.”

Excellent! A $1.75 Busch draw for me then, please, and keep them coming. And my good man Casey here feels like splurging, so he’ll have the Michelob Amber Bock for fifty big cents more, thank you very much.

Walsh’s Corner Cocktails was exactly what we needed for Guys’ Night this month, after fancy drinks at The Rieger Hotel Grill & Exchange our last time out. Adam, McHugh and Voytek were also in attendance on this Wednesday, and a good crowd was already at Corner Cocktails when we arrived.

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QuikTrip’s Loaded Potato Rollers

2011-08-08T11:48:00.009-05:00

The latest creation from the QT food Frankensteins is a garlicky monster.

About a month ago, I saw a sign at a QuikTrip for some kind of new mac and cheese something or other coming soon. First, I wondered if the rolling food geniuses had devised a way to make a Cheesy Mac Log. Second, I got frustrated that if they had made that breakthrough, they were just teasing me with it and I couldn’t try it right that very second. For the waiting, as they say, is the hardest part.

I kept checking back at the roller grill wonderland for weeks to no avail, when out of nowhere QuikTrip blindsided me with the brand new Loaded Potato Roller. While it wasn’t a Cheesy Mac Log, I wasn’t about to wait to try it.

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The Rieger Hotel Grill & Exchange

2011-07-06T16:12:00.005-05:00

They say “Drink like it’s prohibited” -- and prohibition tastes delicious.

You may remember my brother-in-law and “almost doctor” Voytek from previous entries on Lunch Blog. He’s the guy who tried to dissuade us on medical grounds from ordering the Suribachi Burger at Swagger, and later commented that “Medically speaking, the correct amount of Whatafarms is zero, for the duration of your life.”

Well, the good sir finally graduated from med school recently, and as such he could actually attend his first Guys’ Night in a while. No more staying home and hitting the books, playing Operation, watching old episodes of "Quincy" or whatever homework it is that med students do.

For his return, Voytek requested we class it up and get fancy drinks at The Rieger Hotel Grill & Exchange. And with many intriguing options on the cocktail menu there, each of us had a hard time deciding what to get for our first round. Voytek went with the Pendergast ($9) -- made with bourbon, Dolin sweet vermouth, Benedictine and Angostura bitters -- and dug it quite a bit.

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Dog Nuvo

2011-06-24T09:32:00.006-05:00

Best in show.

I love hot dogs. My go-to lunch when I need something quick is two dogs from QuikTrip. I crave them more than burgers. So when Groupon ran a deal for fancy hot dog joint Dog Nuvo, there was no way I was passing that action up. For once, this guy was going to eat a hog dog that didn’t have packaged condiments on it.

Dog Nuvo is in the space formerly occupied by Souperman, which was another one of my lunchtime clutchtime standards until its demise. I’d actually been to Dog Nuvo a handful of times since it opened last September, although this was Robert’s first trip.

We selected three of the gourmet dogs to try from the menu, as well as some truffle and asiago potato chips that were pretty tasty. Here’s what we thought of the dogs.

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Gold Fork at the Pitch’s Taste of KC

2011-05-19T15:03:00.003-05:00

It’s game on for Battle: Pheasant.

Six cheftestants went head-to-head in pursuit of the prestigious Gold Fork at the Pitch's annual Taste of KC at the Power & Light District last Sunday. I was very excited to be asked to sit on the judging panel alongside Beth Barden of Succotash and Marshall Roth of Dog Nuvo.

Tonight’s secret ingredient was pheasant, and the chefs came up with some intriguing executions -- among them were pheasant meatballs, smoked pheasant, and pheasant wrapped in uncured bacon. As judges, we rated each chef’s efforts from 1 to 5 on taste, appearance and creativity.

Sampling delicious food prepared by awesome chefs -- it’s a tough job, but somehow we made it through. I think I may have tripled the amount of pheasant I've ever had in just this one sitting.

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"BBQ Makes Everything Better"

2011-05-16T17:14:00.001-05:00

The only thing that could make this book meatier is if it was printed on bacon.

I cook most of our dinners on the grill. I especially love to grill in the winter when there’s a little bit of snow. Makes me feel in control of the elements. Mother Nature’s not going to tell me when I can or can’t have a steak.

Thus, I was excited to receive a review copy of "BBQ Makes Everything Better," by Aaron Chronister and Jason Day. They’re two-thirds of Kansas City's Burnt Finger BBQ team, the duo behind BBQAddicts.com, and the inventors of the Bacon Explosion.

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The Atacolypse

2011-05-04T10:24:00.001-05:00

I love the smell of tacos in the morning.

Five contenders. All-you-can-eat tacos at Thirsty’s Cantina. One sweet championship belt. The Atacolypse went down last week, and it was not pretty.

It all started as an offhanded challenge to my co-worker Josh that I could eat more of the street tacos at Rico’s Tacos Lupe than him, but the battle quickly escalated. Scot, Leisha and Erick wanted in on the action, and we set the date for Tuesday, April 26, 2011.

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The Winstrosity at Winstead's

2011-04-21T10:12:00.002-05:00

In which we go Frankenstein on the Winstead’s menu.

The Winstrosity is a sandwich consisting of a Winstead’s burger, fried chicken breast, fried egg, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, onion rings, pickles, mustard and ketchup. It’s the Kansas City version of a Whatafarm, which I started craving big time during the NCAA tournament thanks to the relentless airing of Whataburger spots. Such a tease since the closest Whataburger is hours away.

Our server at Winstead’s was surprisingly receptive when Shaw, Dorsett and I showed her the schematic detailing what we wanted. She took it with her, and returned a couple of minutes later with an update -- the cooks were all over the Winstrosity, although they were going to have to vary the precise order of toppings from our diagram to make the sandwich architecturally sound.

I like to think they were back there in the kitchen with protractors and a chalkboard figuring out the ideal sandwich construction strategy. Good thing we nixed the idea of a chili dog layer which we’d given brief consideration to during the Winstrosity planning stages. Can’t imagine that would’ve been beneficial to the sandwich’s structural integrity.

A key difference between the Whatafarm and the Winstrosity lies in the onions. As side orders are key to the Winstead’s experience, we concluded it was necessary to incorporate them into the sandwich. Thinking fries would’ve been a bit too starchy, we went with onion rings on the Winstrosity instead of raw onions like on the Whatafarm.

Our sandwiches arrived and we dug in. The Winstrosity was scary delicious -- way more than the sum of its many, many parts. The burger patty and bacon set a carnivorous stage for the juicy chicken, crispy onion rings and an excellent fried egg. No single flavor overwhelmed any of the others. Total menu harmony on a bun. My Winstrosity plus a large soda ran me $12.20.

There’s one more big difference between the Whatafarm and the Winstrosity that we didn’t anticipate. Due to a Whataburger’s circumference and general increased heftiness, the Winstrosity isn’t quite the chunk that a Whatafarm is. This is not a bad thing -- with the Winstrosity you get all the tasty, none of the regret. Maybe a little regret. Not much. A trace amount.

Don’t get me wrong, though -- we’re still talking about a monster sandwich. Yet perhaps it is callous and unfeeling to call it the Winstrosity, for it is not the sandwich’s fault that it is such a beast. It was our creation. Perhaps the real monster…is us.

(Dramatic pause for reflection.)

Anyway, while we were at Winstead’s, we totally had a vision for a new breakfast sandwich -- The Swinestead A.M. It’ll be sausage, ham, bacon, a fried egg, hash browns and gravy on an English muffin. Who’s in?
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Winstead's on the Plaza
101 Brush Creek Blvd, Kansas City, MO 64112

Hickok's Bar & Grill

2011-04-12T11:16:00.001-05:00

I don’t recall the part in the legend of Wild Bill Hickok where he ordered a Flirtini.

Because any place with a happy hour featuring specials on both wings and Manhattans is a place I need to check out, Shaw, Dorsett and I went to Hickok’s Bar & Grill for Guys’ Night this month. The lure of the Monster Burger played a part as well, but we’ll get to that later.

Happy hour specials are available from 3-7 p.m. in the bar area only, so lucky for us there was one table left when we arrived. Our server brought us chips and charred tomato salsa, and we each ordered a Classic Manhattan, made here with Jim Beam ($3.90 during happy hour; $5.90 otherwise). The salsa was nice and smoky.

We also got an order of Wild Bill’s wings split half-and-half between Hickok’s two sauces -- classic buffalo and roasted garlic agave (6 for $2.90 during happy hour). Hickok’s serves the wings whole, and while the buffalo sauce wasn’t big on heat, both sauces were very flavorful and the wings were good and crispy.

Other eats on the happy hour menu include Hickok’s classic burger and Boulevard beer-battered chicken tenders. There’s queso espinaca, too, but spin dip is girl food.

Right under the wire before happy hour ended, Dorsett ordered a Classic Martini ($3.90 during happy hour; $5.90 otherwise). Later I learned the happy hour drink specials come back on at 9 p.m.

In addition to the aforementioned Flirtini, the Hickoks’s martini list has a Pomtini on it and something called a 360 Apple Tree Hugger. Neither of these are what comes to mind when I think of the wild wild west -- but truth be known, when I think of the wild wild west, what I think of is Kool Moe Dee.

With happy hour over, we switched to cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon ($2.50). Now it was time to face down the Monster Burger -- two 8 oz. patties, smoked bacon, chorizo, caramelized onions, roasted mushrooms, jalapenos, a fried egg, four cheeses, lettuce, tomato, guacamole and onion straws ($14.90).

Finish that behemoth plus a side of fries in 30 minutes or less, and you get your name on the Hickok’s Monster Burger Wall of Fame. Please note, however, that you still have to pay for your burger. Seems like you should at least get a t-shirt, especially if you manage to beat the standing record of six stomach-churning minutes. Although tonight we weren’t going for the record -- we were just curious to see how it tasted.

When the Monster Burger arrived, we each sank a knife into it and cut it down into thirds. Once you pick this thing up, it’s best to power through it -- with all those toppings of various creamy, squishy and melty consistencies, our Monster Burger quickly devolved into a soggy pile. In retrospect, this is clearly a novelty menu item, and we probably should’ve suspected as much going in. Also, it smells of socks.

We ordered Wild Bill’s Fried Burger, too. It’s a Boulevard beer-battered patty with jalapeno cheese sauce, chorizo, guacamole and onion straws ($9.40). Like the Monster Burger, it was a bit heavy on the creamy toppings, and the cheese geyser and guacamole canceled each other out. Really none of the flavors came through all that distinctly except for fried and chorizo.

Having now had Wild Bill’s Fried Burger and the Suribachi Burger at Swagger, I think I may not be a fan of fried burger patties -- which is crazy because that seems like something I’d be all over. If I could get the whole sandwich battered and fried like a Monte Cristo, that might be another story.

Considering the wings and salsa were pretty tasty, it may be unfair to judge Hickok’s based on our choice of burgers. On a different visit I tried the carnitas tacos ($9.30) and they were fine, while a couple of nights later Shaw had the Plain Ole Chicken tacos ($2.90 during happy hour) and liked them.

That said, we can’t shake the feeling that by putting the Monster Burger out there as bait, Hickok’s Bar & Grill is in fact just an elaborate scheme to trap Guy Fieri.
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528 Walnut | Kansas City, MO 64105

Archer Farms Potato Chips

2011-03-31T13:57:00.005-05:00

If it’s a food, they’ll make it a chip.

As previously mentioned, Shaw, McHugh and I played cards at Dave’s house the other night. While Dave was supplying some growlers of beers from 75th Street Brewery, he suggested we bring some more beers and snacks. You’ll be unsurprised that nobody took us up on our offer to share in our 30-pack of Natural Light.

We brought over a few bags of intriguingly flavored Archer Farms chips from Target, too. Choosing which varieties was actually kind of overwhelming -- we settled on Buffalo Wing, General Tso and Greek-Inspired, but they’ve also got Macaroni & Cheese, Honey Barbecue Ribs, Parmesan Garlic, Maui Onion, Loaded Baked Potato, Fire-Roasted Fajita and more.

And then there’s Roasted Vegetable & Olive Oil, which we didn’t even consider for a second. I would like to posit that if you’re truly craving the taste of vegetables, maybe instead of opening a bag of chips you should think about making yourself a salad.

The game started with 11 players. Shaw got knocked out early, after demonstrating a level of skill slightly above that as seen on Hip Hop Hold’Em -- which is to say, not much skill at all. When half the players were gone we consolidated from two tables to one and took a snack break. Here’s what we thought of the chips.

Greek-Inspired: The bag says they’re seasoned with feta cheese and kalamata olives, and that feta flavor made these far and away the crowd favorite. I think I detected a little bit of pepperoncini zing in there, as well. These were excellent.

General Tso: The back of the bag reads, “This sweet and spicy chicken dish was first served in a Chinese restaurant in 1977. Archer Farms brings you the flavors of this famous dish in a chip.” The first sentence may be true, but the second is an absolute lie. These taste like barbecue chips with a major helping of ginger and way too much salt. They also taste kind of like burnt. These were not good.

Buffalo Wing: Neither terrible nor memorable. It is time for me to accept that no wing-flavored snack will ever be a worthwhile substitute for actual wings. Chicken is necessary, although Buffalo Chicken in a Biskit or Buffalo Pork Rinds could potentially work.

Just a couple of hands after the game started up again, I got knocked out myself. The taste of bitter defeat -- it’s not an Archer Farms flavor yet, but I’d wager it probably tastes a lot like the General Tso chips.

Taco Factory

2011-03-28T09:33:00.002-05:00

Proceed With Caution: You Are Entering a Hard Shell Area.

First things first, if you’re expecting Taco Factory to be a place like where you step up to the counter to order and then a foreman pulls a giant lever and the gears start grinding on some kind of automaton -- a tacomaton, if you will -- which then cranks out your food, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. I know this, because despite the illustration on the wall, I could totally see into the kitchen where a couple of guys were clearly making my tacos by hand. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Since Kansas City Lunch Spots already posted a fairly comprehensive review of Taco Factory, I wasn’t actually planning on writing about it when I stopped in with Shaw and McHugh. Especially since The DLC called it “a middle of the road, cheapish whitey taco place that caters to boring people and drunks.” Still, we needed something relatively quick, and Taco Factory was on our way to play some cards at Dave’s house.

I ordered three soft baja tacos -- shredded beef, shredded pork and tempura fish (all tacos are $1.99 each). Once you place your order, you take a seat and wait for your number to appear on a monitor. It kind of feels like playing Keno, or at least it does to me, keeping in mind I’ve got a strange inability to comprehend how Keno works no matter how many times people have tried to explain it.

My number came up, and I got my tacos from the kitchen window. While the tacos here are no means authentic, I’m glad to report that I thought they were pretty delicious. The beef and pork were both well seasoned and juicy, and the batter on the fish was just light enough to give the taco a satisfying internal crunch without being too heavy.

Standard toppings include lettuce, tomatoes, Monterey Jack, cilantro, red cabbage, feta and aioli sauce. It was the feta and aioli sauce that really did it for me. Alas, the hot salsa my tacos were served with had zero heat, although the aioli sauce was so good it rendered the salsa a moot point anyway.

Tacos are available either soft or crispy, and the other filling options are ground beef, chicken, ground turkey and grilled veggie. You can also get a taco plate with two tacos plus rice and beans ($5.99), but I didn’t do that, because I will go with a third taco over rice and beans any day of the week.

We split an order of chips and salsa ($2.29), as well. Again, the salsa didn’t register, but the chips were good -- not too thick and not too thin. Shaw got his tacos crispy, and said he would’ve preferred a thinner shell that was more like the chips.

Outside of tacos, Taco Factory’s menu has burritos, quesadillas, salads and more with the same filling options. Bucking convention, McHugh got a burrito ($5.49-$5.99, depending on filling). I was impressed with the robotic precision of the queso application. Maybe instead of being an automated taco factory, this place is run by taco-making cyborgs.

Another difference between Taco Factory and actual factories is that it’s super bright in here -- and if I’ve learned anything from industrial films and various propaganda, it’s that factories are soul-crushingly dank. Taco Factory is so open and well lit, it’s almost like you’re on the set of The Max.

All in all, Taco Factory is a good bet for a quick bite. And for dessert they’ve got Choco Tacos ($2.79), which I’ve always thought are awesome. I’m glad I resisted the temptation to get one tonight, however, because we stopped at QuikTrip later and I saw they’ve got Choco Tacos for $1 less. But perhaps I shouldn’t mention that -- I don’t want the Waldo Taco Cyborg Labor Union coming after me.
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7439 Broadway | Waldo, MO 64114

RA Sushi

2011-03-21T11:56:00.000-05:00

Home of the very tasty, very awkwardly punctuated "RA"ckin' shrimp.

Travel back with me to late January 2011. The weather was cold, the year was new and Charlie Sheen was only annoying if you happened to be watching “Two and a Half Men.” Lunch Blog received an invitation to a special lunch preview of RA Sushi’s new menu, and while Robert couldn't make it, my fiancée Angela and I got to check it out.

Located at Park Place in Leawood, just north of Town Center Plaza, RA Sushi is very spacious and has a great modern feel. Also, I’ve been watching way too much HGTV.

We started off with Chicken Otoko Salad ($10), which features peppers, asparagus and fried noodle crunchies with strips of chicken cooked in a spicy yuzu dressing. I liked it, although getting the fried noodles from the plate to my mouth proved to be something of a challenge.

The other starter was the deceivingly fiery-looking Shishito Peppers ($7). They’re actually very mild -- after about three, you can feel a little heat starting to build, but the sauce is delicious and more than compensates.

Next up was an assortment of four new sushi rolls, each with an adventurous combination of flavors. Everything tasted fresh and looked sharp on the plate. The lineup was as follows:
• Vegetable Tempura Roll ($7.50): Everything is better when it's fried, and this mix of asparagus, sweet potato and Japanese eggplant is no exception. It has a slight crunch from the tempura topping, and is drizzled with a sweet eel sauce. Besides, it has to be relatively healthy, right? It’s veggies!
• Pacific Roll ($9.50): This one has a bit of spiciness within its mix of albacore, cilantro, jalapeno and cucumber. Topped with an avocado and mango salsa, red beet tempura bits and sautéed cashews, there’s a lot going on with this one but it works.
• Tropical Roll ($8.50): This roll has cucumber, mango and avocado inside, and is topped with spinach tempura, masago and mango salsa and a spicy-style shrimp. Not as flashy as the other rolls, but tasty nevertheless.
• “RA”ckin’ Roll ($13): This one was the Cadillac -- it's a crab and cream cheese mix that's battered and fried, topped with guacamole and crispy “RA”ckin’ shrimp, then garnished with a creamy ginger teriyaki sauce and red beet tempura bits. The “RA”ckin’ Roll was the big winner of the bunch.

For the main entrée, we were served the new Lobster with Garlic Sugar Snap Peas ($17.50). The lobster is sautéed with garlic and shiitake mushrooms, and the peas are a nice complement. I appreciated that they didn't go too crazy with the garlic -- just right.

Finally, for dessert we got to try some traditional Japanese ice cream via the Sweet Mochi Trio ($7.50). An assortment of mango, strawberry and vanilla ice creams in sweet rice cake shells, the kiwi and strawberry garnish along with whipped cream and chocolate makes it look cute on the plate. Like the noodles earlier, eating it was a bit challenging -- the rice cake was tricky to cut without smashing the rapidly melting ice cream into the plate. Well worth the effort, though, because it was a delight.

While we had the option to sample some of RA's new cocktails, due to the fact that we both had to go to back to work, we took a pass. If I hadn't, though, I would have definitely tried the Ginger Blossom ($8), a combination of Hendrick's Gin, St. Germain (an elderflower liqueur -- thanks Google!), ginger ale, muddled strawberries, and pink grapefruit and lime juices. And yes, I would have drank it like a pretty, pretty lady.

Thanks again to RA Sushi for the invitation.
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11638 Ash Street | Leawood, KS 66211

Dunkin' Donuts Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread

2011-01-24T12:56:00.007-06:00

Don't trust egg whitey.

In a hurry to scoot out of the house to run some errands the other morning, I accidentally skipped breakfast so I decided to stop in at Dunkin' Donuts for the first time since they opened in KC. They've got those flatbread sandwiches that are supposed to be not entirely horrible for you, at least relative to something like a McGriddle. A delicious, delicious McGriddle.

I stepped up to the counter and ordered an Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread and an extra large cup of coffee. And feeling pretty good about that healthy decision, I went ahead and got a chocolate glazed donut, too.

Come on -- they have a wall loaded with donuts from top to bottom and it was staring me down. I blinked, and the donut wall won. Who am I to resist?

Sitting down with my food, as I unwrapped my sandwich I started to grow a little wary of it. Egg whites taste close enough to full-on eggs that I'm fine with them, but they also tend to look like the foodstuff version of a dry erase board. Plus, what with the way these egg whites contrasted against the deep green bits of spinach that were cooked in, they looked even filmier.

Curiously, despite there not being much visible sausage in the egg whites, each bite still had some sausage flavor in it. Otherwise, the sandwich was pretty bland, and the cardboardy bread certainly wasn't doing it any favors, either. Sure, it's less than 300 calories, but disappointments like this are why trying to eat healthy outside the house is no fun...

…said the guy who also got a donut. Which is me.

Alas, my donut was a letdown as well. I don't think I've had Dunkin' Donuts since I lived in Wichita, but I seem to recall the chocolate glazed donuts being way more intensely chocolate. This one, however, tasted only vaguely chocolate-ish -- like a third-tier off-brand Cocoa Puffs. At least a step below Coco Roos. (Speaking of cereal, anybody remember Dunkin' Donuts Cereal from the late '80s? I hunted around online, but couldn't find the commercial with Fred the Baker staggering out of bed because it was "time to make the little donuts.")

And while I've never confused donuts with health food, until I was writing this I had no idea one of these things weighed in at 370 calories. How long until we figure out how to make turkey chocolate?

People seem to be pretty bonkers for Dunkin' Donuts coffee, so I thought at least I'd finally get to see what all the fuss was about, but once my drink finally cooled down it didn't taste any better than your average burgerdoodle brew. After my first sip, I couldn't muster much enthusiasm for the rest of my monster cup.

Really, all this is my own fault for attempting to make a healthy choice at a fast food place. Next time I'm just going to go ahead and get the McGriddle. With hot fudge on the side for dipping.

(Egg White Turkey Sausage Flatbread: $2.99, chocolate glazed donut: 89 cents, extra large cup of coffee: $2.09, cereal image from Woosk.com)

Dan's Longbranch Steakhouse

2010-12-07T14:55:00.000-06:00

Tonight's entertainment: ZZ Not.

When Shaw told me the Wednesday night specials at Dan's Longbranch Steakhouse are $5 for a pound of wings with fries and $2 domestics, I thought that sounded like it was worth checking out. Cheap wings and cheap beers are a good combination. But I got really excited when I took a look at the restaurant's website and saw that Longbranch has a pinball machine. Cheap wings and cheap beers plus pinball is a combination that's unbeatable.

I didn't even care that the machine was a pinball version of Big Buck Hunter. I'm not really big into hunting, but with pinball becoming increasingly scarce, I'll play whatever table I can find -- even if bludgeoning your prey with a heavy silver ball does seem a little severe to me.

While Shaw and I were fine with the domestic special, we had our friend Dan along with us, and since he's something of a beer nut he decided to rock some Boulevard's Bob's '47 instead. Shaw grabbed the three of us a bowl of peanuts, and we ordered our wings. Decently sized, our pound came out to nine wings total, but taste-wise I didn't catch a lot of heat off them. Not the best I've ever had, yet far from the worst.

We also each got burgers -- the chili cheeseburger for Shaw, the blue cheese burger for me, and Dan felt obligated to try Dan's Barnyard Burger. When the chili cheeseburger and the blue cheese burger arrived, I thought they looked a little skimpy on toppings. However, there was actually just enough of the good stuff on them to complement Longbranch's excellent patties, which may have otherwise been overwhelmed. The blue cheese burger came with some habanero sauce that gave it a nice bit of zip, too.

As for Dan's Barnyard Burger, topping overload is clearly the point. I think you know what you're getting into when you order a burger with a fried egg, three slices of cheese and three strips of bacon.

After we finished our burgers and settled up, we went in search of the pinball machine and wandered over to The Branch, the bar that's connected to Dan's Longbranch Steakhouse. A cover band was playing, and it was much more hopping over there than on the restaurant side. Although the pinball machine turned out to be Pirates of the Caribbean rather than Big Buck Hunter, alas, it wasn't switched on. Still, we decided to hang out for a couple more beers.

Didn't catch the band's name -- the website says Samantha Fish plays every Wednesday but she must've had this week off, as I'm fairly certain none of these three guys were Samantha Fish. In the six or seven songs we heard, they did ZZ Top's “Sharp Dressed Man,” “La Grange” and “Tush,” as well as Lynyrd Skynyrd's “Free Bird.”

The Branch was pretty busy for a Wednesday, and it looked there were a lot of regulars. In fact, I'm not sure anybody there realized it was a weeknight. I bet the Saturday night karaoke jam there is insane.
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9095 Metcalf Avenue | Overland Park, KS 66212

Boogie vs. the Whatafarm

2010-11-22T09:25:00.009-06:00

Meet Boogie the Chubby Asian. He conquered the Whatafarm over the weekend, and even used our diagram to order it. Check out the video of his adventure below.

After watching this, I can feel the initial pangs of a Whatafarm crave coming on. It's been about a year since my last one. Medically speaking, eating more than one Whatafarm within a given 12-month period is not advisable.

Best line of the video: "And also -- vegetables." Congrats on your Whatafarm domination, Boogie! We salute you.

Apparently, you don't even need the diagram to order a Whatafarm at certain Whataburgers, as Boogie notes on his YouTube page that "some locations actually know it by name." I would love to see that transaction.

KC people -- is Winstead's our best bet for creating a monster like this in our city?

Lunch Blog Goes to Fat City: Days 4 & 5

2010-10-31T16:38:00.009-05:00

The biggest perk of guesting at Fat City last week? While talking to the Jack in the Box PR department, I scored an invitation to preview night, and you know I couldn't miss that.

It took Kelly and I like an hour to get there, though -- somehow we hit three construction zones, plus a wreck had the highway backed up. But the important thing is I got to have a couple of Jack in the Box tacos.

Here are the rest of my posts from the week.

Lunch Blog Goes to Fat City: Days 2 & 3

2010-10-27T21:05:00.042-05:00

Here are my posts from Fat City on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Seriously, about that Throwdown with Bobby Flay promo -- am I the only person that it's driving nuts? And you can sign me up for a cupcake challenge anytime.

Lunch Blog Goes to Fat City: Day 1

2010-10-25T22:33:00.012-05:00

I'm filling in for The Pitch's food blogger Jonathan Bender while he's on vacation this week. Check out my posts from Fat City today:

Arrowhead Stadium Sandwich Roundup

2010-09-16T18:38:00.001-05:00

Your source for all things Chiefs.*
*Assuming all you want to know about are the sandwiches.

McHugh was given some last-minute tickets to the Kansas City Chiefs season opener on Monday, and invited Shaw and I to join him. Despite the rain, I couldn’t have asked for a better first Arrowhead game experience. Whoever had the brilliant idea to book Train to play at halftime and secure victory by boring the San Diego Chargers into submission deserves a raise. That was diabolical.

Plus, making their Arrowhead debut tonight were some new concessions that we absolutely had to try. Here’s what we had, along with an evaluation of each item’s value, keeping in mind that everything at Arrowhead costs twice as much as it should -- $7.75 Miller Lites, anyone?

Bratwurst Burger from The Burger Box by Blanc
It’s a bratwurst patty, topped with jalapenos and melty cheddar on a pretzel bun. Taking nearly everything good about tailgating and fancying it up, this was easily the winner out of tonight’s selections. We paid $9. Is it worth $4.50? Considering Blanc’s usual prices, $9 seems about right.

Red & Gold Short Rib Melt from Tailgaters Grill
By themselves, the pulled short ribs on this sandwich were tender and tasty. However, they got lost in a cheese overload with all that white American and Havarti, not to mention the two thick slices of Parmesan-crusted toast. We paid $11. Is it worth $5.50? More like $3. This sandwich is an intriguing idea, but ultimately comes off as just a glorified grilled cheese.

KC Burnt Ends Cheesesteak from Blaze Burgers & Fries
There was a clear difference between the sandwich pictured and the sandwich we got, but knowing that’s just the rule with food photography, I kept thinking the next bite would be where I found some peppers and onions. Alas, it turned out what we’d been given was simply a burnt end sandwich with cheese -- although McHugh got one from a different Blaze Burgers stand that he said was loaded with toppings. We paid $8.50. Is it worth $4.25? Even without the fixings, it was a passable foodservice barbecue sandwich. But I still want that cheesesteak in the picture.

It was very cool to check out the newly renovated Arrowhead. While I’m not a big sports fan aside from college basketball, I love people-watching and tailgating. I’d only been here one other time, for U2 on the Zoo TV tour in 1992.

The Sugarcubes opened that show, and I actually got to meet Bjork. During the set by the other opening act, The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, she was watching from out in the audience so I wandered over to introduce myself. I’m sure Bjork would remember. Just ask her about that ultrasuave, short teenager in Kansas City who smelled faintly of Viaka vodka.

Otto’s Original Burger & Malt at Czar Bar

2010-09-08T16:32:00.011-05:00

Domo arigato, Mr. Malt-Otto.

Going on nigh over a week, the take-out menu for Otto’s Original Burger & Malt at Czar Bar had been staring me down at my office’s lunch table. As I sat there munching on my salad and reading about all that goodness, I felt like an 1840s prospector being teased with visions of California and gold in every riverbed. By the time Friday arrived, I’d had enough -- my wagon was packed and ready to roll out to tastier, maltier pastures.

Forging the trail with coworkers Justin, Nick and Nathan, we got to Otto’s and discovered an excellent lunch special -- a Royale Burger plus fries and a malt for $8, available from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The malt of the day was banana espresso, and that’s what I got. While I’d never thought of combining banana and espresso, it was fantastic.

The lunch special gives you the option of upgrading your Royale to any of Otto’s specialty burgers for $1.50 or $2 extra, depending on the complexity of the adjustment. I upgraded mine to the Astro, which comes topped with spicy mix, sweet chili sauce, jack cheese and sautéed onions.

The Astro was solid, but I’ve got to question myself on why I continue to experiment with sautéed onions. They’re not a team player in burger ensembles. As jarring as if Jim Carrey got a role on "The Wire" and couldn’t resist mugging it up. Just do your job, onions. You’ve got the potential to do some good work if you’d just reel it back and resist the urge to overtake the rest of the cast.

Other leading burger contenders for me included:

The Ottobahn -- spicy mix, cheddar, jack, cream cheese, bacon and a scrambled egg
The Lou Diamond -- barbecue sauce, cheddar, bacon and an onion ring

Otto’s also serves four varieties of stuffed burgers that sound pretty awesome, available for $6 ala carte or a $2 upcharge with the lunch special. I especially like the sound of the Chris Walkin -- it’s stuffed with provolone, green onion and roasted red peppers, and topped with Italian sausage, provolone, marinara and spinach.

As we savored the last of our malts, co-owner Ruth Cosgrove Miller stopped by the table to ask how we were enjoying our meal. She’s Otto’s wife, too, and told us a little bit about Otto’s history.

Otto Miller started out making malts here in Kansas City and developed a strong following before being drawn to Los Angeles, where he met Ruthie. Later, they brought their magic to Las Vegas.

It seems in every place he settled, Otto’s malts drew a devoted fan base. During his time in Vegas, Otto’s Malt Shop was given the honor of “Best Place to Take a Date When You Really Want to Get Laid” by Las Vegas CityLife in 2006.

Eventually, Otto and Ruth decided to return to KC. The two of them were responsible for launching Hamburger Mary’s, and just last month opened up Otto’s Original Burger & Malt at Czar Bar.

After having a malt here, I’m extremely glad Otto struck gold out west, and brought his riches back to KC.
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1531 Grand | Kansas City, MO 64108

Jasper’s Ristorante Presents “An Heirloom Tomato Experience”

2010-08-16T17:16:00.004-05:00

Attack of the Heirloom Tomatoes!

Jasper’s Ristorante hosts an ongoing series of events called Experiences, where Jasper Mirabile, Jr. comes up with a theme and bases a menu around it. This month was “An Heirloom Tomato Experience” featuring Kurlbaum’s Heirloom Tomatoes, a local farm that grows just about every kind of tomato except Killer. Needless to say, Lunch Blog was very excited to be invited.

Arriving shortly before 7 p.m., I checked in and was immediately handed a Bloody Mary -- I firmly believe that any experience that begins with somebody handing you a Bloody Mary can’t be too bad. Then I was led to the restaurant’s screened-in back porch, where the Experience would be happening.

Part of the fun of Chef Jasper’s Experiences is that throughout the evening he gives cooking demonstrations and provides background on dishes, as well as goes off on the occasional tangent. Tonight, along with a couple of people from Kurlbaum’s, Chef Jasper schooled us on the history of heirloom tomatoes.

Here’s some Heirloom Tomatoes 101: Heirloom tomatoes are goofy-looking tomatoes grown with seeds that have been cultivated for generations. They come in a ton of varieties and all kinds of tomato flavors, from sweet to smoky to spicy. For instance, the tart undertone of my Bloody Mary was courtesy of Arkansas Traveler tomatoes.

So we learned about heirloom tomatoes. And then as Chef Jasper prepared a batch of fresh mozzarella, I also learned that I’ve apparently been pronouncing “mozzarella” wrong for my entire life.

The first dish served was tomato bisque garnished with Shatto Milk Company's Winstead cheese, and it really showed off what’s possible with a top-notch tomato. The bisque was soon followed by a Caprese-style salad made with Aunt Ruby’s Green Tomatoes and a slice of Chef Jasper’s mozzarella. However, instead of basil, the salad had a mint pesto that gave it a refreshing zing.

Next was a light but velvety risotto made with Brandywine and Red Zebra tomatoes, after which came Chicken Frederico topped with a sauce that included Cuor di Bue and Pineapple tomatoes. The chicken just about fell off the bone, and was accompanied by artichoke potatoes and a super-fennely sausage.

There were also breads and crackers on the table from Meadowlark Acres. Between the risotto and the chicken, I had a slice of focaccia that was loaded up with tomatoes and caramelized onions. I could’ve almost made a meal off of that alone.

Each course was delicious, but it was dessert that truly ruled -- Jasper Jr.’s Heirloom Tomato & Ricotta Tart with Sweet Basil Cream Gelato. The tart had a flaky, buttery crust, with a body of creamy ricotta that contrasted against the subtle acidity and firmer texture of the heirloom tomato varieties on top.

The sweet basil cream on the vanilla gelato was ridiculously awesome, too. Fresh and intense. One of the people seated nearby was at a neighboring table catching up with a friend when dessert was served, and I was pretty tempted to swipe her plate.

After five courses and some excellent conversation with my fellow diners, it looked like we’d reached the conclusion of the Experience, but not before we were given a final drink of Peachello. Kind of like the Bloody Mary earlier, I now firmly believe you can’t go wrong with any experience that ends with somebody bringing you Peachello.

Thanks again to Chef Jasper for the invitation.

The theme for the September Experience is Wisconsin Cheese, and it will be held on September 9, 2010. Other upcoming Experiences are:

Applecello & Local Apples on October 18, 2010
All About Polenta & Risotto on November 8, 2010

Seating at all Experiences is limited, and the cost is $45 (tax and gratuity extra). For more info, check out jasperskc.com.

Here's another recap of "An Heirloom Tomato Experience" from
What You're Missing KC!, plus the recipe for Peachello.
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1201 W. 103rd Street | Kansas City, MO 64114

The Culinary Center of Kansas City’s Staff Lunch + Blue Bell Ice Cream Tasting

2010-08-06T10:11:00.003-05:00

The Blue Bell doth toll for us.

Your Lunch Bloggers were invited by Blue Bell Ice Cream to join them at The Culinary Center of Kansas City for Staff Lunch and an ice cream tasting last week.

Held every Tuesday, Staff Lunch is when The Culinary Center opens its doors to the public, and the chefs there make whatever they’re in the mood for. And since by “ice cream tasting,” what Blue Bell really meant was “five full scoops of ice cream,” it’s a good thing that today The Culinary Center’s chefs felt like making a salad.

Fine. It was a monster Cobb salad with lots of avocado, hard-boiled egg and barbecue chicken, plus chili-lime ranch dressing.

Fine. There was also a big hunk of super-tasty jalapeno cornbread with honey butter.

It was still a salad, and it was mighty delicious.

After that, it was ice cream time. Here’s what we got to try.

Homemade Vanilla: Considering this is neither chocolate nor are there chunks in it, I truly don’t understand how it’s Blue Bell’s #1 selling flavor. Still, as vanilla goes, not bad.
Southern Blackberry Cobbler: My favorite part of pie is the crust. This flavor of ice cream has pieces of pie crust in it. Good stuff.
Strawberry Cheesecake: When it comes to cheesecake, I think I prefer actual cheesecake.
Mocha Almond Fudge: Chocolate plus coffee, and thus easily my favorite. Very rich.
Caramel Kettle Crunch: Vanilla with a ribbon of caramel sauce and crunchy caramel-coated popcorn. Because we all have to have dreams, apparently Blue Bell has been trying to figure out how to successfully infuse popcorn with ice cream for a while now -- mission accomplished. This is just the right amount of sweet, and if you get a bite with one of the bigger pieces of popcorn in it, you are a winner.

Staff Lunch also includes dessert, and today’s was a chipotle brownie served alongside a couple of scoops of Caramel Kettle Crunch and garnished with popcorn. We saw some of them going out to diners in the main room, but thankfully for those of us attending the tasting, after five scoops of ice cream The Culinary Center had the foresight to box up our brownies to go. Blue Bell sent all the attendees home with a half-gallon of Caramel Kettle Crunch, too. (Available in grocery stores for $6.29.)

To keep it cold, the ice cream was packed with dry ice. Don’t think for even a second that as soon as I got home I didn’t put that dry ice in the sink and try to give my kitchen an awesome rock show fog. Because I did.

Like a sucker, I split the brownie with my wife later that night. The plating in the picture is mine own -- the ones served to lunchers at The Culinary Center looked much fancier.

It was a pretty phenomenal brownie, sweet and a little spicy. Totally crave-worthy -- one week later, and I’m in serious need of another chipotle brownie fix.

In the meantime, I’ve got a spoon and a half-gallon of Caramel Kettle Crunch. Now all I need is a cable movie marathon. I’m hoping for Rocky.

Staff Lunch at The Culinary Center of Kansas City is on Tuesdays from 11:30 a.m. until either the food runs out or 1:30 p.m. It’s $12 and the menu varies week to week.

Big thanks to Blue Bell Ice Cream for the invitation.
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The Culinary Center of Kansas City:
7920 Santa Fe Drive | Overland Park, KS 66204

QuikTrip's Cheeseburger Rollers

2010-07-28T13:42:00.003-05:00

What we’d give to spend a day at the Roller Grill Laboratory.

Back in February when Shaw and I gave our take on QT’s Buffalo Chicken Bites, I predicted that the next QT rolling food would be stickburgers.

Ladies and gents, announcing QuikTrip’s latest -- Cheeseburger Rollers (2 for $2, or $1.19 each).

Soon as we saw them, we couldn’t wait to give them a try -- especially once we noticed all the grease the Cheeseburger Rollers were caking onto the grill. That’s how you know a burger is good.

We each put a Cheeseburger Roller on a bun and started loading them up with condiments. Ketchup, mustard and onions from a packet for me.

Flecked with cheese inside, Cheeseburger Rollers taste like a cross between a hamburger and brown-and-serve breakfast sausages. They’re “burgery.” Like if you’d never had a burger before and someone was to describe a burger to you, this is how you might think a burger would taste.

Hot dog buns aren't really the ideal Cheeseburger Rollers handling device, either -- too bready. While a hot dog has the snap of its casing to pronounce itself from the bun, the Cheeseburger Roller just gets lost in there.

Cheeseburger Rollers are a valiant effort, if not a thoroughly successful one in our opinion. Still, we here at Lunch Blog admire QuikTrip’s tenacity, and would like to offer up these suggestions for QT’s next rolling creation:

Tso Kebabs
Gyrollers (or perhaps, Shawarma Fingers)
Chicken Fried Steak Dipsticks with Gravy
Philly Cheesesteak Rollninis
Barbecue Logs
Meatball Oblongers

Also, there’s got to be a way to adapt Cheesy Blasters to the roller grill. And how has QuikTrip not yet brought back Frankenfurters? Or am I the only person that remembers those? Frankenfurters were hollow hot dogs filled with chili that you could get at the grocery store, and I think the last time I saw them was in the ‘80s.

What would you like to see added to the QT Roller Grill Wonderland?

Update 7/29/20: Who remembers Frankenfurters? Chimpotle does -- and he remembered they were actually called Frank 'N Stuff, too. Here's a commercial.

Tower Tavern

2010-07-12T12:57:00.000-05:00

Nerdery for the win.

We chose Tower Tavern for Guys’ Night the other week for two reasons. Number one, we wanted to play in the Tuesday night trivia game. Number two, the menu features a dish called “Pork Wings,” and you know that’s something we’d have to try.

Even though the game doesn’t start until 8 p.m., we arrived a little bit before Happy Hour ended at 7 so we could take advantage of the $5 appetizers special. We got an order of buffalo wings and the Tower Sliders, on the latter opting for the Deluxe version, which runs $1 more. Since the special doesn’t include Pork Wings, we decided to wait until later for those.

The dollar extra for the Deluxe Tower Sliders was well spent -- they’re excellent. You get three of them, and each one easily has 3 oz. of flavor tucked in the 2 oz. patty, but it’s the garlicky cream cheese and bacon that really make them. They come with some fantastic fries that have just the right crispy-potato ratio, too. As for the wings, they were good, albeit nothing out of the ordinary.

Shortly before the game started, the host stopped by our table to ask what our team name was going to be, and for lack of any better options we went with Fred. During the first round, we stuck mostly to the category of Three Word Band Names. We almost got stumped on who did “Desperately Wanting,” on account of Better Than Ezra being one of the world’s most forgettable bands ever.

We also got to pick up some extra points when a team of three guys at the bar called Jake, the Fatman & Cynthia were unable to answer their question from the Games category, and challenged us with it. The question was: What does LARP stand for?

Come on, if anybody in there was going to know what LARPing was, it was us -- it’s Live Action Role Playing. Perhaps our nerdery isn’t as outwardly apparent as I thought.

It became surprising all the more that Jake, et al. didn’t know that answer, when between rounds I overheard them talking Doctor Who. Took nearly all my self-restraint not to join in and make that my second Time Lord-related conversation of the day. (I’ve been listening to Chris Hardwick’s Nerdist podcast lately, and it’s empowered me to let my inner geek flag fly much more proudly.)

Before the next round started, we ordered a meatball sub ($7.50). While the meatballs themselves were tasty, overall I found it undersauced and o-cheesed, served on a roll that was too soft for this kind of sandwich. Side-wise, we got the house-made potato chips, and they were good, if not nearly as good as the fries we’d had with the Deluxe Tower Sliders.

At long last we ordered the aforementioned Pork Wings ($9), too. They’re pork shanks that are braised and flash-fried, and tossed in a bourbon-cider barbecue sauce. Pretty delicious. An order of these plus an order of buffalo wings would be about the best thing you could pair with the $2.50 Budweiser and Bud Light Tallboys that are the Tuesday night beer special.

During the second round of trivia, which included a Beatles category that I was especially excited about, we were able to build on our lead. In the category of The Afterlife, one of our opponents was given the question: Who was the jackal-headed god of the Egyptians who advocated the practice of mummifying bodies?

They missed it, and the question went out to the house. Conferring with my teammates, I guessed Mumm-Ra, but that’s actually the archenemy of the Thundercats, not to mention total dork city. Luckily, Shaw knew the right answer was Anubis, which really is just about as dorky.

Before the Final Jeopardy-style ending round, there was a speed challenge that we won by naming five characters from The Lord of the Rings the fastest. Truthfully, I’m a little ashamed of this. Sure, I dig Doctor Who, but Tolkien geeks are a whole other level of nerd that I don’t care much to associate myself with.

Our last question of the night came from the category Capitals, which meant Shaw was going to have to field it singlehandedly, because Dorsett had to leave early and I don’t know real stuff. The question was: Name one of the two state capitals that border another state. Thankfully, none of the other teams got the answer either, and we won the big game.

Now if the category had been something like Space Capitals with a question along the lines of, “Name the home planet of the Time Lords” -- that, I would’ve been all over.

This marked the first time I’ve ever been on a victorious bar trivia team -- and frankly, I was due for a win. Considering we made it happen while eating Pork Wings, I think that makes for a nice little piece of poetic justice.

Happy Hour at Tower Tavern lasts from 4 to 7 p.m., Monday through Friday, with select appetizers for $5. Trivia goes down every Tuesday at 8 p.m. It’s free to play, and the prize is bragging rights, which along with $9 will get you an order of Pork Wings.

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401 E. 31st Street | Kansas City, MO 64108

The Test Kitchen's Ultimate Cocktail Party

2010-06-04T14:50:00.002-05:00

Per the Test Kitchen Pledge, “Let us indulge.”

The Test Kitchen is a totally cool concept. It’s an underground supper club where prestigious Kansas City chefs prepare fancy meals for a select number of guests at secret locations.

Ever since learning about The Test Kitchen, I’ve wanted to attend one of these events. However, as befitting something with this air of surreptitious exclusivity, the recommended donations are usually kind of steep and that’s kept me from entering the lottery for seats.

So when I got the invitation for The Test Kitchen’s Ultimate Cocktail Party and saw that this time around the recommended donation was a more doable $40, I wasn’t going to miss out. Shaw and I put our names in the lottery, and a couple of days later I was way excited to get the email telling us we were go.

Here’s how all that works. First, you sign up at The Test Kitchen’s website to get on the mailing list for upcoming events, announced via save the date emails. Shortly after the save the date emails go out, they’re followed by invitations that include more detailed info about the chef and menu, plus the amount of the recommended donation. If you want to attend, you reply to the invitation and are entered into the lottery. Those lucky people that score seats are notified by email and once they’re paid up, only then are they told the whereabouts of the big night.

The Ultimate Cocktail Party was held at The Terrace on Grand on Tuesday, May 25, and when we arrived a couple of minutes after 7 p.m., the doorman told us the underground supper club was actually meeting on the roof. We took the elevator up and were greeted by The Test Kitchen's Founder [REDACTED], and then promptly got in line for drinks.

Tonight’s cocktails were being prepared by Manifesto’s Ryan Maybee, and he was offering two selections. We started with the Word on the Street, made with Hendrick’s Gin, St. Germaine Elderflower Liqueur, Thatcher’s Organic Cucumber and fresh lemon juice. I am solidly against cucumbers except for when they are pickles -- although unsurprisingly it turns out I don’t mind cucumbers when they’re soaked in booze, either.

As good as the Word on the Street was, I preferred the Equinox. It was made with Reposado Tequila, Aperol, strawberry-sage syrup, fresh lime juice and a splash of ginger beer. The kick of the ginger beer is really what did it for me -- more drinks should have ginger beer in them.

While we were enjoying our cocktails, I saw somebody I knew in the line for drinks, which by that point had grown crazy long. Walking over to say hello, I tripped and spilled a couple of drops -- a few thirsty people watched that happen, and registered understandable looks of horror. I deserved every nasty glare.

Meanwhile, Chef Howard Hanna of the Kansas City River Club was serving up small bites. Among them were some rather delicious deviled quail eggs with caviar. I’d never had quail eggs before, and to me they were much eggier than the chicken variety. Following our trip to Benton’s Prime Steakhouse, this marked the second time I’ve had caviar, and I still have no concept of what it tastes like.

There was also a creamy and awesome chicken liver pate. On our second trip through the line, there was hardly any left. I’m not ashamed to say that with some encouragement from one of the servers, I used a slice of grilled bread to scoop up as much of the pate from the bowl as I could.

No shocker, our favorite small bite was the one that was fried -- arancini stuffed with pork confit, taleggio and sage. Shaw looked at the menu and seemed a little confused. “Wait,” he said. “So these aren’t just called pork balls?”

He next asked me how many arancini I thought I could eat. I replied I was confident I could do a dozen with ease, before topping out around 15. Shaw gave me a questioning stare of disappointment and declared, “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I could eat 40.”

Rounding out the small bites were grilled asparagus with Umbrian black summer truffles, heirloom radishes and baby turnips with ramp aioli, Shatto cheese curds and capicola.

As the sun began to set, The Test Kitchen's Founder called together all the Test Kitchen Disciples (that’s people who have previously attended a Test Kitchen event) to lead the rest of us Newbies in The Test Kitchen Pledge. With 60 people in attendance tonight, whereas most events have hosted closer to 20, this was the largest number of people to take The Test Kitchen Pledge and be initiated at one time. Then we were given our pledge pins. I can't imagine this is all that different from Skull & Bones.

Later on while The Test Kitchen's Founder was making the rounds, [REDACTED] stopped to chat with us, and Shaw and I got to learn more about the inspiration for the club. Mostly my major goal during our conversation with the Founder was not to make an idiot out of myself and say something dumb like, “So how about those pork balls?”

After one more Equinox, it was time to scoot. We thoroughly dug the Ultimate Cocktail Party, and I’m going to have to set aside some scratch to splurge on an upcoming Test Kitchen event.

Until then, Chef Hanna, can you please make the Shaw vs. 40 Arancini Challenge happen?

Benton's Prime Steakhouse

2010-05-24T14:17:00.000-05:00

In the words of Le Torche Humaine, “Flambé on!”

Two weeks ago, the restaurant formerly known as Benton’s Steak & Chop House held an event to reintroduce itself as Benton’s Prime Steakhouse. Your Lunch Bloggers were excited when we got an invitation -- and if you’ve read the blog before, you can understand why we were a little perplexed, too. Either way, we weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to check out Benton’s menu.

Robert: Located on the 20th floor of the Westin Crown Center, the bar at Benton’s has a great view of downtown Kansas City. Kelly and I arrived a couple of minutes before Shaw, and I got a glass of wine while we waited.

Shaw: I’d actually been to Benton’s a few times before, but only on Thursdays for $5 martinis. After all, while we here at Lunch Blog enjoy classy drinks, we also pride ourselves on maintaining a thrifty, Depression-era financial outlook.

Robert: Kelly and I had already done some recon on the starters, and as soon as Shaw arrived, we got in line for the Lobster Bisque ($12). Normally flambéed tableside but tonight prepared at a non-roving flambé station, the bisque was creamy and delicious.

Shaw: Good salads, as well. There was a Caesar Salad ($9), Tomatoes & Fresh Mozzarella ($10), and, my favorite, the Spinach Salad ($9). With strawberries and a warm bacon dressing, the salad was contained within a fried cheese cup. I don’t know if the salad usually comes in a regular bowl, but I do know this -- ceramic dinnerware isn’t nearly as tasty as fried cheese.

Robert: We also had a bite of “Show-Me-State” Caviar ($49/1.5 oz., $99/4 oz.), which we are in no way qualified to pass any kind of judgment on, having never actually been in the same room as caviar before, much less tasted it.

Shaw: But it was the fine array of meats we were looking most forward to. Benton’s did not disappoint, offering samples of many different entrees, including a few that aren’t on the regular menu.

There was a buttery-soft Prime Rib ($34/12 oz., $42/16 oz.), which was accompanied by a demi-glace au jus that added the right amount of saltiness. Also fantastic was the Garlic & Mint Marinated Lamb Rack -- the guy carving it recommended a drizzle of béarnaise sauce, but I liked the lamb even more without it.

Robert: I couldn’t get enough of the Grass-Fed Bison Striploin ($36/12 oz.), so smoky and flavorful -- I was told while the bison had been smoked for tonight, it usually is not. I would’ve gone back over and over for more, but I started to feel like I was pushing my luck on my second return visit and was afraid of getting the stinkeye.

I hereby propose we create the Lunch Blog Super-Sneaky “Mr. Debonair” Instant Disguise & Moustache Kit for the next time we encounter this scenario.

Shaw: Flambéed Sirloin was being prepared at another station. Thinly sliced and tender, I really liked the savory brown sauce and mushrooms the sirloin was topped with. Finally, I think the only reason the Herb-Crusted Angus Tenderloin didn’t stand out all that much to me was because all the other meats were so awesome.

Robert: Over at the sides, Kelly really liked the Herb Crusted Yam & Potato Pave with Onion Soubise ($9). I had a couple of bites and thought it was pretty good. Would’ve had more if I hadn’t been preoccupied with scheming up ways to score more bison.

Shaw: For dessert, I can’t say enough good things about the Bananas Foster ($19) -- bananas sautéed with butter and brown sugar, flambéed with rum and banana liquor, and served over vanilla ice cream.

Robert: This is the perhaps the only circumstance under which I think I would ever want to partake of banana liquor.

Shaw: What with the Lobster Bisque, Flambéed Sirloin and Bananas Foster, they sure do love to flambé stuff at Benton’s.

Robert: That dramatic, potentially dangerous presentation doesn’t come as too much of a surprise to me, since the kitchen is led by Chef Quentin Tarantino.

Shaw: I believe his name is actually Martin Heuser.

Robert: Are you sure? He looks an awful lot like Quentin Tarantino.

Shaw: As we were eating, General Manager Brent Grider explained the reason the restaurant’s name is being changed to Benton’s Prime Steakhouse -- Benton’s now features only beef certified as prime, representing the top 2 percent of all beef available. Benton’s also dry ages their steaks for at least 21 days.

Grider went on to say that during the month of June, Benton’s will be donating 10 percent of its revenue to the United Way.

Robert: While we’d love to go back and eat for a good cause, here at Lunch Blog our pockets only run so deep. Still, we can appreciate what Benton’s is doing, and in that spirit during the month of June we will pledge 10 percent of all our fast food purchases to the United Way.

Shaw: Hey, that’s 8.9 cents per Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. Not too shabby.

Thanks again to Benton’s Prime Steakhouse for inviting us to this event.

For items that don’t have a price listed, as far as we can tell it’s not on the regular menu.
_______________________________________
1 West Pershing Road | Kansas City, MO 64108

RC's Restaurant & Lounge

2010-05-06T13:22:00.008-05:00

Totally fowl.

I love fried chicken. Two weeks before Guys’ Night we chose RC’s Restaurant & Lounge as our destination, and immediately an internal countdown started in my head. Unfortunately, what the evening had in store for me was the worst fried chicken I’ve ever had ever.

Shaw, Dorsett, Adam and I all showed up at RC’s at about 7 p.m., and unanimously agreed we were ready to crush some fried chicken. As we entered the massive red and white building, we noticed a sign outside advertising the Chicken for Four special ($31.95). Ten pieces of chicken and sides -- perfect.

RC’s was bustling and looked to be doing some good business when we were seated in the wood-paneled dining room, the background music soundtracking us with '80s pop like Howard Jones and Billy Joel. (Man, I can't stand Billy Joel.)

Checking out the menu, it didn’t take any of us much convincing that we should also get some wings ($7.95). Then we added on a plate of livers and gizzards ($7.95), which did require a little bit of convincing from me and Adam to Shaw and Dorsett.

Our server came by to take our order. Asking us what kind of salad we’d like with our chicken dinners, she told us our options were Italian and something else that I couldn’t understand either of the times I asked her to repeat herself. Ultimately, I just went with Italian, although later I wondered if I should’ve rolled the dice and said, “I’ll take the second one.”

The appetizers arrived, and they were thoroughly underwhelming. The sauce on the wings had combined with the breading to create a spongy coating. As for the livers and gizzards, they were oddly flavorless. Coming with a standard cocktail sauce plus some gravy that didn’t have much of a taste beyond floury, the livers and gizzards didn’t even have that much use for dipping.

Shortly thereafter we got our salads, closely followed by the rest of our food. With the Chicken for Four, you get four breasts, two legs, two thighs and two wings, as well as mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and biscuits.

Each of us started with a breast, which was instantly forgettable. They looked delicious, but like the livers and gizzards, didn’t taste like anything. Our sides weren’t any better -- both the mashed potatoes and green beans were bland, and the biscuit was a rock. Even though the salad wasn’t particularly special, bafflingly it turned out to be the high point of my meal.

Up until now, RC’s had just been one big disappointment -- win some, lose some, no big deal. However, we still had six pieces of chicken left. And while everybody else decided to pass, I figured I might as well give RC’s one more shot, and picked up a drumstick.

That’s where the experience irreparably fell apart.

Biting into the drumstick was what I imagine sinking my teeth into wet paper mache might be like -- sticky and chewy and wrong. I’m not sure what it tasted like, only that it didn’t taste like food.

During the hour or so it took us to eat, the dining room had emptied out. We paid our bill, and unable to muster the enthusiasm to think of different places to go, headed upstairs to RC’s Back Door Bar & Grill, so named because the bar’s main entrance is on the rear of the building.

“Land of Confusion” by Genesis was playing when we walked in the Back Door Bar, making it seem kind of like the ‘80s music was following us throughout the building, except this version was a remake by Disturbed. I choose to believe that no matter what song is playing in the main restaurant, a nu-metal cover of it is blasting upstairs.

Tonight’s special was $1 PBRs, so at least we could have some cheap beers. After spotting a "Test Your Strength" punching machine, having learned a valuable lesson at our last Guys’ Night, we took the table farthest away from it despite the fact there weren't that many people at the Back Door Bar.

Shaw pointed out a nearby patron eating a club sandwich, and we all concurred we would’ve rather had that than the fried chicken. Eventually we realized we were talking exclusively about how much we didn’t like this place, so we decided to cut our losses and call it a night.

Look, here at Lunch Blog, we take no satisfaction out of giving a place the thumbs down. RC’s has been around since the early ‘70s and it looked like there were a lot of regulars in there, so it’s got to have something going for it. Hopefully our experience was just a fluke -- if you’ve been to RC’s, we’d love to hear what you thought of the place.
______________________________________
330 East 135th Street | Martin City, MO 64145

Carollo’s Italian Deli

2010-04-30T14:32:00.007-05:00

Number one, extra hot.

I don’t remember the first time I ate here at Carollo’s, but I feel like I should. After all, it’s not every day you discover your favorite sandwich.

It’s the #1, and it comes with capicola, salami, prosciutto and provolone. However, simply stepping up to the counter to order your sandwich won’t get you the full experience. There are two more key steps.

First, ask to have your sandwich extra hot, and you’ll get it topped with a spicy mix of pickled peppers and veggies. Don’t worry -- unless you have a seriously low tolerance for heat, it’s nothing you can’t handle.

The extra hot treatment also fulfills a more practical function -- getting your sandwich down to a manageable vertical bulk. The oil that comes standard on the sandwich already helps to reduce the bread’s volume some, but to finish the job you really need the added juice from the peppers and veggies. Without it, the bread’s crusty exterior has the same roof-shredding capabilities as Cap’n Crunch.

Second, watch closely to see who is making your sandwich. There are usually three people working behind the counter, and they all make a mean sandwich
-- but the undisputed champ is the tall guy with the crew cut. Time it so that he takes your order, and you’re golden. If this involves a distraction strategy for line position jockeying and/or sandwich ganking purposes, so be it.

The #1 Extra Hot is ridiculously tasty, and big enough to choke a shark. Along with a bag of chips, it’ll run you a mere $6.23.

One of these days, though, I’m going to have to try it with a side of the seafood salad. Carollo’s sells the salad in bulk, and stores it in a barrel over by the door. It’s got dismembered octopus in it.
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9 East 3rd Street | Kansas City, MO 64106

Swagger

2010-04-21T13:22:00.003-05:00

We came for wings. Not a knuckle sandwich.

For Guys’ Night this month, we headed to Swagger for Monkey Mondays, when the special is $2 Flying Monkey pints and fifty cent wings. I arrived first, took a seat at the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender was pretty friendly and surprisingly frank, too -- I overheard a fellow patron ask him about one of the many beers Swagger has on tap, and his reply was, “Honestly, it’s not that good.”

All the seating in Swagger’s bar half had filled up by the time Robert, Dorsett and Voytek finally got there, so we made our way to the other side of the place, which aside from a couple of rowdy Golden Tee enthusiasts was mostly abandoned. We grabbed a high-top table and started to study the menu. Little did we know we’d already made a tactical error that would come to haunt us later.

For now, though, it was all about wings. Swagger offers four varieties -- buffalo, jerk, bbq and Cajun -- and we ordered a ton of each. Robert and I also got the Suribachi Burger to split.

Normally, the more kinds of wings a place has, the more average I expect them to be across the board -- so I’m excited to say that the wings at Swagger are delicious. Each variety has an excellent blend of heat and flavor. Here’s a rundown, from dry to wet:

Cajun -- somehow buttery yet nearly sauceless, with the spices fried in
BBQ -- tossed in a sauce more spicy than sweet, and then grilled for a nice cooked-in coating
Buffalo -- one of the better, more well-balanced buffalo sauces I’ve had in town
Jerk -- with a thick, dark brown peppery-sweet sauce, these were my second favorite after the buffalo

The Suribachi Burger is a 1/3 lb beef patty dipped in tempura batter and deep-fried, then topped with Asian mustard, pepper jack cheese, Sriracha sauce and wasabi coleslaw. I was dying to try it, despite some cautionary words from Voytek, who is currently in med school but should really keep it to himself until he’s a full-on doctor.

Overall, taste-wise the burger struck me as maybe a little too far on the hot end of the ideal heat-to-flavor scale, and surprisingly the batter didn’t add that much to the experience. However, the wasabi coleslaw was fantastic, and the hand-cut fries were great -- perfectly cooked and seasoned.

This is the part where I explain our aforementioned tactical error. Right by our table was a “Test Your Strength” boxing-style punching machine, and about the time we finished eating, a couple of guys wandered over to give it a go.

Okay, putting a punching machine in a bar? Horrible idea, for two key reasons. First off, it costs a dollar. Let’s say you get liquored up and angry enough to want to hit something, and then find out it’s a buck to take a swing. You’ll be looking for some free punching bags before long.

Second, there’s a whole public humiliation aspect to it if you don’t hit it hard enough, and come in on the lower end of the machine’s arbitrary and ridiculous ranking system. The levels are:

Hopeless -- depicted as a sweaty fat guy
Anemic -- a skinny old man that looks curiously like Alan Alda
Brutal -- another old man, but short and droopy
Killer -- who looks like a mustachioed Izzy Mandelbaum
Superman -- a muscular, pretty boy type
Boxer -- a very angry ‘roid case whose shoulders have swallowed the lower half of his head

Doing our best to avoid eye contact with the punching machine’s patrons, we somehow ended up talking to one of them anyway. The conversation went from agreeing that the machine was clearly broken because it wasn’t fully registering the hurt he was putting on it, to declining the opportunity to throw a punch at it on his dollar, to politely yet in no uncertain terms saying thanks but no thanks to a round of shots. And then the next thing you know, he was on his way to the bar to get us all shots anyway.

We never saw him again. Half an hour later when we went to the bar to tab out, neither he nor his friend were anywhere to be seen.

Aside from that, we had a great time at Swagger. I’m definitely interested in checking out more of the menu.

I’m just not sitting anywhere near that damn machine. ___________________________________
8431 Wornall Road | Kansas City, MO 64114

Studio Movie Grill

2010-04-16T09:42:00.004-05:00

Lights, camera, hot wings.

Studio Movie Grill is a new theater at Zona Rosa that opened at the beginning of April. Earlier this week, they hosted a Media Night, and your Lunch Bloggers were among those invited to come and check out the cinema-slash-restaurant.

The evening’s feature was Date Night, and both Shaw and I brought along our special ladies -- although if I’d had any foresight whatsoever, I would have declined to tell Kelly that everything was on the house. Instead, I would’ve been all like, “Baby, tonight you get whatever you want,” and cued up a Color Me Badd slow jam to seal the deal.

Shaw, Angela, Kelly and I arrived at Studio Movie Grill and were greeted by our hosts. Then we sauntered over to the bar, where I ordered a Dragonberry Mojito ($8.50). A fine balance of mint and dragonberry, it made me truly appreciative of the dangerous work performed by Dragonberry Wranglers so that we can enjoy these refreshing beverages. I’ve seen Reign of Fire. Dragons can mess you up -- as could the 20 oz. rum-fueled New Orleans Hurricane ($9.50) that Shaw got.

Shortly thereafter, we were ushered into the theater. How Studio Movie Grill works is you have a little red light at your table that you turn on when you want something, and then one of the servers stealthily comes over and takes your order.

They’re like movie theater ninjas, except instead of killing you, they want to bring you food and drink. This is much less challenging and almost as satisfying as smuggling in your own beer. (B movies plus contraband Miller High Live quarts are and always will be an unbeatable combination. Don’t judge.)

The four of us started with a round of appetizers -- spicy Tabasco wings ($8.49), cheese fries ($8.49) and burger bites ($8.49). The wings, which come in an order of five and were actually all drummettes, were nice and crispy with the Tabasco flavor really coming through in the sauce. The southwestern spices on the cheese fries gave them a good spice, too, and I was impressed at how the queso was evenly distributed throughout. It was like each fry had been individually lacquered.

As for the burger bites, I liked the sweet Hawaiian rolls they were on, but I’ve got a bone to pick that goes for Studio Movie Grill and all the places with tiny burgers on the menu -- one regular patty cut into four pieces placed on four buns does not four tiny burgers make. You need to make four tiny patties.

Right before the movie began, we ordered entrees. Kelly was in the mood for pizza, and chose the All the Way ($11.99), which is topped with mozzarella, provolone, pepperoni, sausage, bell peppers, mushrooms, onions and marinara.

The main reason she chose that one was because she wanted to make jokes about “going all the way” and movie theater making out -- although logistically speaking, the executive leather chairs here aren’t particularly conducive to getting busy, so if that’s what you’re looking for you may want to go to your standard theater. But to be honest, stadium seating became commonplace long after I finished high school, so I’m not even sure if kids make out in movie theaters anymore.

The All the Way pizza was tasty, even if it was a little heavy on the roasted peppers. The same was true of Shaw’s steak sandwich ($11.99), which in addition to the peppers had shaved beef, sautéed onions, mushrooms and mozzarella on a sourdough roll. I had a little bit of each the All the Way and the steak sandwich, and was afraid I was going to end up with some of those peppers in my lap.

Angela’s chicken quesadilla ($9.99) was solid, with four cheeses, chiles and a better ratio of peppers. Mess-wise, it might’ve been the best food for eating in the dark, too.

Since the Megaplex Burger ($11.99) was the most movie-themed item I could find on the menu -- barring popcorn, of course -- that’s what I got. Alas, despite having peppered bacon, sautéed mushrooms, onions, cheddar and pepper jack cheese, the burger wasn’t quite a blockbuster.

Near the end of the movie, Kelly’s pregnancy sweet tooth kicked in, so we ordered the brownie sundae ($5.99), which has one scoop each of vanilla and chocolate ice cream along with cinnamon chips and both chocolate and caramel sauces. Fully intending to share with Shaw and Angela, we had our server bring us four spoons -- but after a couple of bites, I whispered to Kelly, “You know, if they really wanted a sundae, they could just order their own.”

I think drinks, appetizers and dessert are where it’s at here. Date Night was pretty funny -- it’s Adventures in Babysitting with a married couple, and probably an ideal flick for the Studio Movie Grill set-up. For example, I’m not sure I’d want the distraction of a plate of cheese fries being delivered to me while watching The Godfather. Well, actually, I’m always open to a cheese fries delivery, but I think some films might not benefit from the experience.

Scary movies totally would, though, and this is way boss -- every Wednesday and Thursday in April at 10 p.m., Studio Movie Grill is screening Horror Remix, where all the boring parts are cut out of a horror movie to leave you with just the good stuff. While sneaking in your own giant beers and grindhousing it up will be nigh-impossible what with the ninja servers, admission is free and it’s not like they don’t have beers there anyway.

Be careful, though! If you’re taking a bite and something spooky happens, you could end up with ranch dressing all over the place.

_____________________________________

7420 NW 87th Street | Kansas City, MO 64153

Full disclosure, in case we didn’t spell it out enough: We didn’t pay for any of this stuff. Thanks again to Studio Movie Grill for inviting us.

KFC Double Down

2010-04-07T16:58:00.000-05:00

We’re taking a stand. All-star awareness-raising anthem to follow shortly.

Next Monday, KFC is adding the Double Down sandwich to its menu. The Double Down consists of two fried chicken breast filets, between which are a couple of strips of bacon, slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese, and a dollop of Colonel’s Sauce.

Keeping in mind that we are champions of the Whatafarm, some friends of Lunch Blog have suggested we check the Double Down out.

And usually, we totally would. But not this time. This chicken sandwich strikes us as fishy, and we don't see ourselves shelling out $5 to confirm our suspicions.

Colonel, just what are you attempting to pull off here? Quite frankly, the Double Down looks like you’re trying way too hard to jump on the “This Is Why You’re Fat” food porn bandwagon.

You say, “This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun.”

Tell you what, Colonel -- speaking as your customers, we'll be the judge of whether or not there's enough room for a bun, thank you very much.

Besides, without a bun or some sort of bread-related outer encasing, you shouldn’t be calling the Double Down a sandwich at all. Rather, it is a meat pile. Under normal circumstances, we’d be cool with that -- but Colonel, let’s keep it on the level.

Furthermore, even if we were willing to concede that the twin fried chicken breasts could function as a bread proxy, then that makes the Double Down nothing but a glorified, sauced-up bacon and cheese sandwich. Sure, we like a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich as much as the next guy, but it’s hardly groundbreaking.

The least you could do is make the fried chicken breasts bun-shaped.

And you’re also offering a version where the chicken is grilled? It's not even fried? What's the point? Come on. Own it. You can’t have it both ways.

Colonel.

Colonel, Colonel, Colonel.

This is behavior unbecoming of a man of your stature.

________________________________________________

Thanks to FoodGeekery.com for the picture. And here's an early report of the Double Down from The Consumerist.

Succotash

2010-03-23T11:12:00.002-05:00

“Bacon tastes good.” --Vincent Vega

My sister turned 21 the other weekend and had a costume party to celebrate. Kelly and I went dressed as Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace from “Pulp Fiction” -- good thing my dad was there to recognize us, because none of the kids had any clue who we were supposed to be.

Anyway, that left us daughterless on Sunday morning. Babycakes had spent the night with Kelly’s parents and we didn’t have to pick her up until after naptime, so we decided to take advantage of the situation and go out for breakfast. Kelly was surprised when I suggested we check out the new Succotash.

She was a big fan of the old location in the River Market -- but the few times I went there a couple of years ago, I really didn’t like it. The place struck me as thrift shoppy, and it seems like my sandwiches were always 98% crusty bread, 2% fillings. However, I’d heard enough good things about the revamp that I was certainly willing to give the 4-month-old Succotash 2.0 a shot.

As soon as we walked in the door, we could see that Succotash has traded in the belabored kitsch for a more effortlessly vintage vibe. And even though it was fairly busy, we didn’t have to wait all that long to be seated and get coffee.

Café du Monde is poured at Succotash, and it is one fine cup. Better yet, there was no slacking off on the refills, with somebody coming around to top it off pretty often. Looking down to reach for my coffee, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored table and discovered that no matter what angle you look at yourself in it, you have a fantastic view of what’s up your nose.

I ordered the Farmstand plate, which comes with eggs, home fries, bacon and your choice of toast or a biscuit. My choice was biscuit, add gravy. Kelly got the pancake of the day, and today that was blueberry. To make sure my wife knew what she was getting into, our server explained that at Succotash you only get a single pancake, but it’s super big.

There’s a ginormous painting on the wall of a lady with tomato bisque dripping down her chin, and from where I was sitting I had a hard time not looking at it while we were waiting for our food. We’re not the first and we won’t be the last to observe that it looks like she’s enjoying a big bowl of blood soup. The painting was way distracting, even more so once Kelly started hissing “Brains!” at me all “The Return of the Living Dead” zombie-style.

Just when we’d moved on to misquoting the “Pulp Fiction” diner scene to each other, our breakfasts arrived. Kelly’s pancake was indeed a monster -- it covered up her entire plate. Totally thick and chock full of blueberries. It almost made me wish I’d gone with my second choice, the Burrito of Love, which is a buttermilk pancake wrapped around scrambled eggs, bacon and cheddar cheese.

But then I would’ve missed out on the biscuits and gravy, and that would have been a tragedy -- this was some of the best B&G I’d ever had. The flavor was mysteriously like that of lightly sauced pizza. Seriously good bacon, too.

As a relocated Southerner, I also had an obligation to hunt for any succotash-related items on the menu. Here’s what I found:

Succotash Veggie Wrap, which consists of two eggs scrambled with succotash, sundried tomatoes and cheddar
A lemony lima bean hummus appetizer

I got a mean thing for lima beans, so I’m for sure going to have to stop in for lunch. Sandwiches come with a daily side. Is it too much to ask that when I return, maybe the daily side could be B&G?

_______________________________

2601 Holmes | Kansas City, MO 64108

Jack Gage American Tavern

2010-03-04T14:33:00.002-06:00

What this place needs is actual boxing. Or better yet, foxy boxing.

Having just reread Charles Ferruzza’s positive review of Jack Gage American Tavern in The Pitch when we were trying to settle on a location for Guys’ Night, I suggested the boxing-themed restaurant as a contender and everybody bought in. However, the agreed-upon date was still a couple of weeks away, and in the meantime my co-workers Sarah and Matt had started talking up Jack Gage even more. I couldn’t wait any longer, so I decided to stop in for lunch.

Scott, Zach and Dylan joined me on the initial run. Overall, it wasn’t bad -- although the hostess led us by several open four-tops to seat us right by the kitchen door in the back room. Compared to the rest of the place, this room has about as much character as an unfinished basement. It’s like they experienced a sudden shortage of large wooden boxing murals, prompting them to just hang up a TV and reserve that section exclusively for shady looking riff raff, boisterous work group lunches and families with crying babies.

I got the Flat-Iron Steak Sandwich ($8.99), and it was tasty despite the caramelized onions almost completely overpowering the steak with sweetness. Dylan ordered “The Upper Cut” Pork Tenderloin ($8.29) and liked it. And Zach and Scott got burgers -- respectively the Black & Bleu Burger ($6.99), and Jack’s Burger ($7.99), which is basically a bacon cheeseburger -- and while neither guy was crazy about their lunch, they both said their burger was good enough. So none of our entrees were big winners, but the service was friendly and there were enough intriguing menu items that I was looking forward to a return visit.

On Guys’ Night, I arrived first and ordered a Boulevard Tank 7, waiting at the ornately decorated bar for everybody else to get there. This was really my first opportunity to check out the décor, which I’d remembered The Pitch marveling over, yet due to being in the back room didn’t get much of a chance to take in the last time. Not too much later, Robert, Voytek, Adam and Dorsett showed up and we were seated. Again in the back room. Must be something about the company I keep. In retrospect, I should’ve said something.

There were so many different things I wanted to try, that Robert, Dorsett and I decided to split a bunch of stuff. We were all agreed on the Buttermilk Fried “Boneless” Chicken & Waffle and the Tavern Sliders Trio Platter, which comes with one each of an Angus Burger, a Buttermilk Chicken and a Maryland Crab Cake slider. Robert was championing the Hot Kentucky Brown sandwich, and we got that as well.

The food came. The food was fine. Slider-wise, my favorite was the Buttermilk Chicken, topped with bacon, onion and sour cream. I’ll tell you this, I don’t know why anyone would ever pick three Maryland Crab Cake Sliders for $12.99 over the Tavern Sliders Trio Platter for $7.99. (Adam got a full-size burger, and confirmed it has a nice flavor, too.)

When we got our Buttermilk Fried “Boneless” Chicken & Waffle ($15.99), we discovered the reason Jack Gage puts quotes around boneless is that each of the dual breasts had one weird extraneous bone jutting out. Topped with a sweet pecan bourbon maple glaze, it tasted good, but we were left a little baffled as to why the dish demanded such a hefty price tag. They didn’t church up the chicken and waffles that much.

As for the Kentucky Hot Brown ($7.99), this one was thoroughly underwhelming -- nothing more than an open-faced club sandwich, loaded way past the breaking point with a Swiss cheese glaze that was more like a heavy sauce. Side effect: Impromptu cheese fries. Now that, I did enjoy.

One thing I noticed on the menu is that they do love to add crabmeat to dishes here -- witness the Eggs on Crab Hash ($13.99), and for an upcharge you can have a couple of the steaks topped with crabmeat. I actually do really want to try the Tavern Crab Mac & Cheese. Made with nine cheeses, it sounds fantastic. On Fat City, Ferruzza and Jonathan Bender rated it the #1 mac and cheese dish in town.

The thing is, it’s $15.99. Do I ever need to pay $15.99 for macaroni and cheese? Could be great, but the Official Lunch Blog Position (OLBP™) is that mac and cheese performs best as a side dish. It’s not a main event. One scoop is plenty. How about a side portion or a half-order? Come on, Jack Gage. Help us out here.

Maybe that’s why my parties keep getting seated in the back room -- they don’t want us mingling with the crab-in-everything aristocracy. Ferruzza describes the tavern’s namesake as “a scrappy fight promoter -- a carny, really.” Considering that reputation, I wonder where Jack Gage himself would be seated?
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5031 Main Street | Kansas City, MO 64112

QuikTrip’s Buffalo Chicken Bites

2010-02-19T07:12:00.000-06:00

Because sometimes I don’t want taquitos, except for the fact that I always want taquitos.

Buffalo Chicken Bites are the latest addition to QuikTrip’s roller grill wonderland, and the first time I saw them a couple of weeks ago, I almost got one for breakfast. However, I was in dire need of coffee, and even though coffee and buffalo wings are two of my most favorite things ever, I’m pretty sure they shouldn’t be enjoyed in tandem. That morning, my caffeine jones won.

So on our way to see RJD2 at Record Bar last Wednesday, I told Shaw about the Buffalo Chicken Bites. Considering what a connoisseur of QT rolling foods Shaw is, I was surprised he hadn’t heard of them already. Seriously, this is the guy who with his girlfriend brought over a variety box of burritos, taquitos and hot dogs to our New Year’s Day party. Clearly, we were going to need to make a stop at QT.

Buffalo Chicken Bites are 2 for $2 or $1.19 each, and I think having the word bite in the name is misleading. While you can take bites of one, the item in and of itself doesn’t constitute a bite per se. Unless you consider a bite to be the size of roughly five cubic inches of buffalo chicken.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect. They look like giant reddish-orange mozzarella sticks. Or as if they might house a filling of sauce and diced chicken within a thick and bready deep-fried capsule.

Sinking my teeth into my Buffalo Chicken Bite, the barely-there fried coating offered little in the way of crispiness, but did have a medium level of buffalo heat cooked into it. The interior was made up of some sort of chicken log, with the consistency and flavor of packaged luncheon loaf before it’s cut into individual slices.

Taking about eight bites to finish, my Buffalo Chicken Bite was remarkably mess-free, save for a little bit of grease on my fingers afterward. And it might just be in my mind, but curiously, I found it to have an aftertaste like that of cheese.

Shaw and I both agreed the Buffalo Chicken Bites were neither bad nor by no means great. Actually, they were kind of gross. I don’t think I’d ever choose a Buffalo Chicken Bite over a roller grill burrito -- but then again, there’s no saying what depths I’ll sink to whenever that crave for buffalo sauce kicks in.

What do you think the next QT rolling food breakthrough will be? Here’s my prediction: Stickburgers.

The Burger Stand

2010-02-10T16:12:00.003-06:00

If asked to express our feelings for this place by using the name of a fictional band, we’d answer Loveburger.

Yo La Tengo* was at The Granada the other week, and I was lucky enough to score a couple of free tickets from Lawrence.com. Shaw met up with me for the show, although truth be told, he had ulterior motives for making the drive down from KC on a cold Tuesday night -- a chance to finally eat at The Burger Stand. I haven’t shut up about this place since last summer, and he was ready to see if it lived up to the hype.

The Burger Stand opened a year ago, and quite frankly, I could eat here every day. It’s actually located inside Dempsey’s Irish Pub in the former home of Rick’s Place, which moved to 9th & Illinois a while back. You may recall that Rick’s Place was what the gin joint in "Casablanca" was colloquially known as. In college, we played darts here a lot. Never once saw a Nazi.

This was the first time I’d been to The Burger Stand for dinner, and it was much more packed than I’ve ever seen it at lunch. Looking at the menu posted over the counter at the bar, Shaw and I decided on The Classic ($6.99), so that he could see just how incredible these burgers are even when relatively unadorned. We also got the pork burger that was one of the day’s specials ($8.99, but I lost my receipt so don’t quote me).

We placed our order and got a couple of beers. Dempsey’s has a pretty good selection on tap, including Boulevard’s Tank 7. When drinking in Lawrence, however, I still feel compelled to get the cheapest beer available, and tonight that was Boulevard Wheat on special for $2.50. With beers in hand, we sat down at one of the only three tables open, and waited for our names to be called to come and get our burgers. Considering how busy it was, I was surprised we didn’t have to wait all that long.

The Classic is basically The Burger Stands’s cheeseburger, topped with Vermont cheddar and locally grown micro-greens. Like most of the burgers on the regular menu, the 1/2 lb. patty is made with a custom blend of tenderloin, strip steak and ribeye, resulting in a phenomenal, melt-in-your-mouth taste that’s unlike anything I’ve experienced elsewhere. The brioche bun makes it even better.

But when a pork burger is the special, that’s what I’m getting nine times out of ten -- I’ve had three or four of them now, and they’ve all been insanely delicious. Tonight’s pork burger came topped with salsa verde, Chihuahua cheese and chicharones. Just a few bites in, Shaw said, “I don’t ever want to stop eating this.”

The week before, I got a pork burger topped with blackberry mole, blanched almonds and queso fresco. I thought then it must be the toppings that made it so good -- the almonds were super-thin, giving it a bit of a snap to look forward to in each bite. So I was very excited that tonight’s special still had that can’t miss flavor that made the other burger so memorable, yet with toppings different enough that it wasn’t like I was having the same thing twice. Must be the way the pork burger’s patty is seasoned.

For fries, The Burger Stand has regular ($1 with a burger, $3 for a basket), sweet potato ($2, $4), truffle ($2, $5), duck fat ($3, $6) and chili ($3, $6). Don’t get me wrong, the regular fries and the sweet potato fries are both fine, but to truly complement the flavor of these burgers, an upgrade to the truffle butter is necessary. The duck fat fries were a little on the gamey side for me, and I’ve yet to try the chili fries ($3, $6), which seems like a glaring oversight on my part.

Occasionally, the Burger Stand offers poutine -- fries coated with gravy and cheese curds ($4, $7). If poutine is an option, do it. I’m told that in a perfect world The Burger Stand would fix poutine every day, the only problem being they can't find a steady cheese curd supply. Blog Friend Nick suggests Shatto Milk Company and The Burger Stand get to know each other and fast to make poutine a permanent addition to the menu.

Lest this sound like a total mash note to The Burger Stand, I’ll mention my disappointment in the Black & Blue ($7.50), a burger that for me was one and done. It sounded awesome, with an intriguing combination of blackening spice, bleu cheese and apple chutney -- too bad there was way too much of the chutney on it, and the tartness totally overpowered everything else. But yeah, besides that, all the other burgers I’ve had here have been outstanding.

So congrats to you, Burger Stand. We hereby decree you Lunch Blog’s Favorite Burger, an honor given in both recognition of the excellence of your everyday menu as well as your adventurous specials. If you would like to celebrate by offering us free burgers for life, we will protest slightly in order to appear as if we have some sort of scruples, before we ultimately accept.

And now we’re excited to hear The Burger Stand people will soon be opening up Esquina, a taqueria at 8th & Mass where the Round Corner Drug Store used to be. As much as I love burgers, I love tacos even more, and I can’t wait to check that action out.

*If you're a Mr. Show fan and you haven't seen the video for Yo La Tengo's "Sugarcube," do yourself a favor and watch it now.

UPDATE: The Burger Stand has moved -- now it's in The Casbah on Mass Street.

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Dempsey's: 623 Vermont | Lawrence, KS 66044

The Casbah: 803 Massachusetts Street | Lawrence KS 66044

Robert & Kelly Go to St. Louis (Part 4)

2010-01-28T15:29:00.000-06:00

This would’ve been much easier if White Castle served crepes.

Rooster

The one thing Kelly really wanted to get on this trip was crepes, and out of all the creperies we could find online, Rooster definitely seemed the most intriguing. It looked to be a hip little place downtown, and quite frankly, the websites for the other creperies were kind of sad and Rooster had a pretty cool logo. Decision made.

Looking over the menu, I thought real hard about the savory brie crepe with roasted spiced apples, but ultimately went with the G.B.L.T. ($7.95) It’s filled with goat cheese, bacon, romaine lettuce and tomato -- and come on, you can’t go wrong with goat cheese and bacon. While typing this, I actually just remembered what G.B.L.T. usually stands for. Wonder if that’s intentional.

Kelly got hers with Nutella and strawberries ($6.95), and when our crepes arrived, we had to stop and admire them for a minute. They were so artfully constructed, we almost felt bad cutting into them. Almost. When we finally did take and trade bites of each, we agreed they were both outstanding. Just look at that bacon peeking out the end of mine.

And while I’m sure the following is true of Kansas City and other cities during the weekend, the streets of downtown St. Louis this morning were eerily quiet and deserted. It was like the daytime scenes in "I Am Legend." Creepy.

I’d probably risk death by vampire for the chance to try that brie crepe, though.

White Castle

After a trip to Trader Joe’s, it was finally FINALLY time to go to White Castle. How I made it 36 hours in St. Louis without going to White Castle, I’ll never know. So we hopped on the highway, figuring for sure we’d stumble across one.

Not so much.

We drove and drove, and I was starting to get seriously nervous. Eventually we stopped for directions at a gas station. While the people working there were no help, lucky for me a guy buying one of the biggest sodas I’ve ever seen was able to tell us how to get to not just one but the three closest White Castles.

When we got there, I couldn’t run to the counter fast enough. I ordered a Sack Meal 1 -- four Sliders (add cheese), crinkly fries and a soda ($5.45). The guy in line behind me got a Crave Case to go ($17.75, without cheese). That’s 30 burgers to take with him, packed in a sweet cardboard briefcase. I was beyond jealous, and would’ve gotten a Crave Case myself to bring back to KC if the practice of freezing and reheating sliders didn’t sound so iffy. (The website also has instructions for making White Chili Castle. Now that’s something I’d like to try.)

Kelly did it wrong and got a couple of chicken sandwiches. Whatever. At Krystal, sure -- especially if the Spicy Chik is an option -- but when it comes to White Castle, it’s all about Sliders and Sliders only.

Of course, right after we got back on the highway, we passed like three more White Castles. Kelly was adamantly opposed to stopping for round two, though.

Good thing a return trip to St. Louis may soon be warranted. For one thing, The Bangles are playing at The Pageant on May 2, right across the street from Pi Pizzeria. Different Light has been one of my favorite records ever since sixth grade. I know -- T-U-F-F, right?

Another reason is that we picked up some Trader Joe’s Cinnamon Schoolbook Cookies that are shaped like letters for the kiddo, and she’s big into them. So big into them that I’m a little nervous about the fury she might unleash when we run out.

Yes, we’re going to need to go back.

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Rooster: 1104 Locust Street | St. Louis, MO 63102

Robert & Kelly Go to St. Louis (Part 3)

2010-01-19T19:52:00.006-06:00

Rollin’ down the street, sipping on Gin & Squirt. (Laid back, and so forth.)

Gian-Tony's Ristorante
Forty-five minute wait? No problem! We’ll just have a seat at the bar.

To be honest, I’d be a little disappointed and a lot suspicious if we were able to get a table right away. Besides, the wait is a big part of the whole Italian restaurant experience for me -- talking to the bartender, people watching and all that. And I’m glad to say that we had a great time here at Gian-Tony’s Ristorante, even if my entrée turned out to be okay at best. More on that in a minute, though.

Sitting at the end of the bar, Kelly and I opened up the wine list to take a look. Seeing as how Gian-Tony’s descriptions were crazy eloquent, I’ll just go ahead and repeat what it said about our selections.

Sterling Vintner's Collection Cabernet Sauvignon: "Distinctive aromas of ripe blackberries, pepper, toast and hints of smoked meats are followed by subtle notes of light chocolate mint and vanilla."
Villa Rozzi Nero D'Avola: "An intense inky red, the Nero D'Avola seductively reveals a gorgeous perfume of blackberry liqueur, white flowers and a hint of figs delivered in a leather basket."

After reading that, one of us was totally obligated to get the Villa Rozzi. It was practically made for us, since Kelly and I so often show up on our friends’ doorsteps bearing leather baskets full of white flowers and figs. It’s kind of our thing.

Both the Villa Rozzi and the Sterling Vintner lived up to the hype taste-wise. Then, 45 minutes right on the dot later, we were seated.

As mentioned, I didn’t much care for my entrée. I ordered the Seafood Ravioli ($15.25), which per the menu is “Stuffed with shrimp, crab and clam, finished in a light tomato sauce with white wine, butter, garlic and diced bay scallops.” It’s not like it tasted bad -- it just didn’t taste like anything at all, and the sauce was barely there.

The Polla Alla Romana ($17.50) that Kelly got, however, was ridiculously flavorful. “Breaded with prosciutto ham, broiled, finished in a white wine sauce (with a) touch of sage," it was perfectly cooked with a good crisp and topped with mozzarella. The couple of bites that Kelly gave me more than made up for the Seafood Ravioli.

I’d love to try some of Gian-Tony’s other entrees. That said, considering the drastic difference in the two we had tonight, if we went back I’d probably take the safe route and get the Polla Alla Romana again. Gian-Tony’s isn’t outrageously pricey, but it’s pricey enough that I don’t care to risk a game of menu roulette.

34 Club
After dinner, we took a drive around the neighborhood of our hotel to try and find a bar within walking distance to grab a beer. Most of the places looked way too packed or too loud for us to have a conversation, so we ended up at this hole in the wall -- and please know I mean that in the most positive way.

I don’t know if it’s always like this, but tonight’s clientele at 34 Club was decidedly mixed. There was:

A group of hipsters, who looked like they were dressed more for an ooncha-ooncha dance-a-teria
Some guys and their huge dogs, one of which was the spitting image of Sprocket from Fraggle Rock
Another guy who struck me as kind of a dorky Kid Rock -- he was hunkered down at the bar and had the fedora paired with vest and t-shirt look going, but with floppy hair

Since PBR tallboys were only $2.50, I got us a couple of those. Meanwhile, “Paradise City” came on the jukebox and Dorky Kid Rock’s girlfriend started doing some stripper moves behind him, yet well enough within his peripheral vision that he had to have known what was going on. When Dorky Kid Rock finally acknowledged her after actively ignoring the show for most of the song, I couldn’t tell if he was just disinterested or mildly annoyed. Either way, nobody was acting like this was anything out of the ordinary.

A sign behind the bar said, “Try a Cold Gin & Squirt.” If I remember correctly, it was even written on no less than a starburst cut-out. With that kind of fanfare we figured the drink must be a 34 Club specialty, thus Gin & Squirts it was for our next round.

They weren’t half-bad, so we decided to have two more Gin & Squirts before we called it a night. I sauntered up to the bar to order them, and the bartender was visibly boggled when I told him what we wanted, pausing to give me a questioning, “Really?” His voice went up an octave or so on the second syllable, and then still in disbelief he added, “You liked those?”

Yes, really. We genuinely enjoyed our Gin & Squirts. If they’d been serving up Bourbon & RC, I would’ve been all over that, too. Welcome to my new obsession of mixing well liquor and third-tier sodas.

I’m going to have to go ahead and draw the line at anything made with Big Red, though.

Next Time on Lunch Blog: I'm gonna go nuts if we don't go to White Castle already.
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Gian-Tony’s Ristorante: 5356 Dagget Ave. | St. Louis, MO 63110

34 Club: 34 North Euclid Ave. | St. Louis, MO 63108

Robert & Kelly Go to St. Louis (Part 2)

2010-01-05T18:33:00.002-06:00

Spuds MacKenzie, you are sorely missed.

Anheuser-Busch Brewery

When we started planning our trip to St. Louis, we thought about going to a museum. However, we ultimately decided to take a tour of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery instead. It’s kind of like a museum, just all about Anheuser-Busch. Plus, free beer. And free beer usually wins.

We arrived at the brewery, signed up for the tour, and began making our way around the lobby to check out all the exhibits detailing the history of Anheuser-Busch. Not that much later, our group was called and we were introduced to our two tour guides. One was the Anheuser-Busch equivalent of NBC’s Kenneth Parcell on 30 Rock, so pure and wide-eyed was his devotion to all things Budweiser. The other one reminded me of Scut Farkus from "A Christmas Story," if Scut Farkus thought he was too cool for school and wore clothes mostly from REI. He didn’t even have on any Anheuser-Busch flair, and thus gets a big zero for effort.

Kenneth and Scut walked us through the grounds of the brewery, which is about the size of a small city. They showed us the Clydesdales, the big tanks of beer, the mash room and all that. While we were looking at the bottling line, Kelly wondered if they ever pulled a Laverne & Shirley, putting a glove on a bottle and waving goodbye as it’s spirited off.

Later in the tour, Kenneth schooled us on Renard the Fox, spokesperson for Bevo, the near beer that Anheuser-Busch sold during prohibition. Renard is a very dapper fox that is frequently depicted munching on a chicken leg with a mug of Bevo at the ready. Needless to say, that is one sly fox I want to hang out with.

Doubting the rest of our tour group was as interested in Natural Light as me, I caught up to Kenneth in between his spiels, and he was totally willing to answer some questions. First and foremost I wanted to know, “How close am I right this very second to fresh Natural Light?"

“About as close as you can get,” Kenneth replied without hesitation. His gusto rivaled that of only Lunch Blog’s friend Dorsett, a man internationally recognized as Natural Light’s #1 enthusiast.

We also learned from Kenneth that because Bud Light is brewed with rice and Natural Light is brewed with corn, if the price of corn and rice were ever to flip-flop, then Natural Light would become Anheuser-Busch’s premium light beer. (I thought that was reasonably intriguing enough to share.)

Kenneth couldn’t tell me jack squat about Anheuser-Busch’s malt liquor products.

When the tour was over, we were led to the hospitality room for our two complimentary beers apiece. I stuck to Budweiser, and Kelly had a Bud Light Golden Wheat followed by a Stella Artois. Meanwhile, our tourmates the Lady Mavs, whose college affiliation and sport was unknown, were settling for sodas.

As we enjoyed our beers, we tried to figure out why these girls who were clearly under 21 had chosen to go to a brewery for their Saturday morning entertainment. One suggestion was that maybe they wanted to see the Clydesdales because the Lady Mavs are a polo team, but that theory was quickly discarded. Kelly and I noticed a couple of the Lady Mavs not too inconspicuously grooving on Scut Farkus, although I’m not sure Scut Farkus did.

On our way back to the car, we stopped for a snack at Gus’ Pretzels, which I found disappointingly unremarkable. Then it was off to visit the Gateway Arch.

Gateway Arch Marketing Team, here is a gimmick for you: As mentioned above, you get free beer at the end of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery tour. When people come down from the top of the Arch, why not give them a free Arch Deluxe?

Just think about it.

Next Time on Lunch Blog: A couple of nice glasses of wine at dinner. A couple of Gin & Squirts at a dive bar after.

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Anheuser-Busch Brewery: 12th & Lynch Streets | St. Louis, MO 63118

Gus’ Pretzels: 1820 Arsenal | St. Louis, MO 63118

Robert & Kelly Go to St. Louis (Part 1)

2009-12-17T13:42:00.003-06:00

A city blessed so abundantly with White Castles. Can't they spare us just one?

Kelly and I had been feeling the need to get out of town for awhile, so when we had our first open weekend in forever, we decided to take a road trip to St. Louis. I figured we could stop at White Castle, tour a brewery, stop at White Castle, check out the Gateway Arch, stop at White Castle and so forth.

After careful negotiation it was decided that we would stop at White Castle exactly once. Rather, among other things, we'd get some crepes downtown and visit The Hill for Italian food. So we dropped off the kiddo, gassed up the car, grabbed a couple of QuikTrip taquitos -- and we were off.

Pi Pizzeria

Kelly found this place while doing some online recon before we left KC, and noting that it's a favorite of the Obamas, we made Pi Pizzeria our Friday night destination.

The hostess told us it would be an hour before we were seated, so we stepped up to the bar to get beers. Seeing as how we were in St. Louis, we each chose a selection from Schlafly -- Kelly got the Pale Ale, and I opted for the Saison. While I was standing at the bar, I heard Schlafly pronounced three distinctly different ways: Shay-flee, Shaf-lee, and Shuh-laugh-lee.

Since it was a nice night, we sat down at one of the tables outside on the sidewalk. There we started to notice that everybody in St. Louis looks vaguely familiar. Not like people we used to know or anything -- just people we'd seen around in various locales. Like those random people you've got a few of the same classes with in college but never talk to, or are always at the same shows you're at.

The pizza was totally worth the wait. We ordered the Chicago-style deep-dish South Side Classico pie, subbing in green olives and black olives for green pepper and onions. Made with cornmeal, the crust was super-chewy on the bottom, but had a nice crunch at the top of the edges.

You can't tell how delicious it was from this picture. We were at a table near the back of the restaurant, so in deference to our fellow diners I turned my camera's flash off, and the resulting photo came out so bad you can barely even tell it's pizza. People try to pass off pictures of Bigfoot that are clearer than this.

There's a sign at Pi that says Provel and has a circle and a slash drawn through it. I know I'm in the minority of people that like St. Louis-style pizza, but I was surprised to find out that apparently even the people in St. Louis don't seem to care for it all that much.

Benton Park Cafe

Saturday morning, I checked out Urbanspoon to find someplace to go for breakfast, and was immediately intrigued by Benton Park Cafe for two reasons. First, beer biscuits. Second, breakfast pizza. Plus, it's totally within walking distance of the Anheuser-Busch brewery, which we were planning to tour that afternoon.

We looked over the menu in greater detail once we got there, and despite some good looking omelettes, we stuck with ordering the Classic Pizza and beer biscuits and gravy. I will mention that Benton Park Cafe also offers a knife and fork pancake sandwich called McGrittl This, and I'm fairly certain that name isn't legally sound.

I'm glad to confirm that both our breakfast choices were winners. The beer bread flavor of the biscuits was excellent, and the gravy was unexpectedly spicy. The Classic Pizza comes topped with egg, mushroom, onion, tomato, bacon and cheese -- and it marked the second killer crust we got in St. Louis.

Kelly was such a fan of the crust that she started trying to figure out the recipe. She asked what was in it, and while all our server could tell us was that garlic salt somehow factored in and the crust is stuffed with cheese, Kelly did some online sleuthing and found this once we got back to KC.

Didn't even occur to us that the pizza would be a full-size pie, thus easily serving two, but it was and along with the biscuits and gravy we had way too much food. That said, no edges of the pizza's crust were left behind.

When our server dropped off our bill, she also asked me if I wanted a to-go cup for my coffee. Attention all breakfast places: This practice is now mandatory, and your compliance is appreciated.

Next Time on Lunch Blog: On to the Anheuser-Busch brewery. There were college kids there, so it must be educational.

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Pi Pizzeria: 6144 Delmar Boulevard | St. Louis MO 63112

Benton Park Cafe: 1900 Arsenal Street | St. Louis MO 63118

Carny Surprise

2009-11-24T16:54:00.001-06:00

It was between making this or Funnel Cake au Gratin.

Did you hear about the Casserole Party hosted by Emily Farris at Pryde's Old Westport last week? Sounds like it was wicked awesome, but alas, we weren't able to be there. Besides, the only casserole I've ever made is a little something called Carny Surprise, and since it's a modification of Taste of Home's Corn Dog Casserole, I doubted it was eligible for the big night.

True, the rules of the Casserole Party state that you can manipulate a pre-published recipe to make it your own. And while I've made a few changes to the Corn Dog Casserole recipe that might technically allow it to qualify, I still feel obligated to add a disclaimer that Carny Surprise is perhaps best described as a “straight-up rip-off.”

The deal is thus -- there are three big differences between Carny Surprise and Corn Dog Casserole. First, the Taste of Home recipe calls for a scant one-and-a-half pounds of hot dogs. Knowing there's no way that could ever even come close to possibly being enough, however, I double that.

That's right. Three pounds of hot dogs.

I don't use just any hot dogs, either. In order to more authentically evoke the seedy flavor of carny folk heritage, I go for “Old-Fashioned Wieners” from McGonigle's Market. Sure, at $4.99 a pound, they're mighty expensive, but they're worth it for both the delicious taste and unbeatable snap. Everything else in this recipe is dirt cheap, though, so it evens out.

The second difference is that Carny Surprise is to be served with a barrel of yellow mustard for topping.

The third difference is that I cut down the celery and the green onions to one cup each. I'm not quite sure what celery is bringing to the party anyway.

So it was a bummer to miss the casserole party, but it just so happened that this month's agency luncheon here at the office had the same theme -- and that was all the excuse I needed to get my casserole on and whip up a batch of Carny Surprise.

Ingredients

3 lbs hot dogs, cut into coins (I recommend getting the best quality dogs available, if possible from the meat counter)
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup sliced green onions (two bunches should do it)
1 cup diced celery
2 eggs
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
2 packages Jiffy corn bread mix (8½ ounces each, 17 ounces total)
1½ cups milk
2 teaspoons rubbed sage
½ teaspoon pepper
Barrel of yellow mustard

Recipe

In the largest pan you have, saute celery in butter for 5 minutes on medium heat. Add onions, and saute for 3 more minutes. Place in a bowl and set aside.
In the same pan, saute the hot dogs for 5 minutes or until lightly browned. Add to the bowl with the celery and onions. Stir it all up real good, and set aside 2 cups.
In the largest bowl you have, combine eggs, milk, sage and pepper. Stir in the cornbread mix, and add remaining hot dog mixture. Add 1½ cups of cheese. Spread into a 3 quart baking dish. Top with the reserved 2 cups of hot dog mixture and the remaining ½ cup of cheese.
Bake uncovered at 400 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown.
Serve the Carny Surprise alongside the yellow mustard barrel for topping.

Here's a warning -- after standing over a pan while sauteing three pounds of hot dogs, you will absolutely smell like hot dogs for the rest of the day.

Did I say warning? What I meant was, “Here's the best part.”

30 Rock's Cheesy Blasters

2009-11-17T15:46:00.014-06:00

Don't leave us hanging, Meatcat!

What is a Cheesy Blaster, you ask? Watch this and find out.

They sound awesome, right? And while we've waited and waited and waited so patiently for Meatcat to arrive on his magic skateboard and bring us Cheesy Blasters, he's totally giving us the cold shoulder. Not cool, Meatcat. Not cool.

Clearly, we had no choice but to take matters into our own hands and make a batch of Cheesy Blasters ourselves. Here's how we did it.

Ingredients

Hot dogs
8 oz bag shredded jack cheese (NOT pepper jack, just plain jack)
8 oz bag shredded mozzarella cheese
Can of pizza sauce
Pepperoni
Tube of thin crust pizza dough

A note on the hot dogs: We used Johnsonville Stadium Style Beef Franks since they were the biggest I could find, hence more room for jack cheese. Once the Cheesy Blasters were assembled, though, we had a leftover pizza lump, so I think this recipe could easily accommodate any standard 8-to-a-pack hot dogs. Unless they're turkey dogs, the inclusion of which in Cheesy Blasters would be nothing less than morally wrong. Same goes for turkey pepperoni. I wish we'd gotten a picture of the leftover pizza lump -- there was something truly disturbing about it. It looked like it might start to scoot away of its own accord, like the raisin concoction John Cusack's mom made in Better Off Dead.

Recipe

Preheat oven to temperature stated on the pizza crust directions.
Assemble pizza. We went in the order of pizza crust, pizza sauce, cheese and then a protective barrier of pepperoni in hopes of minimizing mozzarella/jack co-mingling.
Cook hot dogs on stovetop according to package directions.
Cut a slit lengthwise in the hot dogs, and stuff with jack cheese.
Cut pizza into strips, not quite as wide as the length of the hot dog. You want some hot dog overhang coming out of each end.
Roll a hot dog in each pizza strip. If at all possible, try to roll it so that the seam of the pizza ends up on the bottom but the jack cheese in the hot dog faces upward, thus preventing too much cheese from oozing out as it melts.
Bake according to pizza crust directions, until golden brown. Don't forget to spray your baking sheet with Pam.

Boom! You got Cheesy Blasters!

No shocker, they turned out pretty delicious -- at least the sum of their parts. It probably helped that by the time our Cheesy Blasters came out of the oven, we were a couple of Old Styles into the evening. If there's anything bad to say about the Cheesy Blasters at all, it's that I envisioned them looking somewhat more cylindrical, and not so much like Hot Pockets.

Actually, here's the worst thing about Cheesy Blasters: It's nigh-impossible to get the jingle out of your head. Seriously, it's starting to drive me batty.

Meatcat, please come hang out with us. We'll even sweeten the deal with all the Old Style you can drink. How can you turn that down?

King Buffet

2009-11-12T16:32:00.001-06:00

Strip malls are the new castles.

So is King Buffet a Chinese buffet or a Japanese buffet? In the waiting area there's a giant mural of the Great Wall of China. However, they've also got an entree called Japanese Chicken. Then again, the buffet has Mexican food as well, so whatever. It doesn't matter. Really we just wanted massive plates of fried in sauce.

Studying the mural while we were waiting to be seated, Steve said with awe, “It's just like being there -- on a really blue day.” Shortly thereafter we were shown to our table, and I made my first trip to the buffet for a bowl of hot & sour soup and some appetizers. I got crab rangoon, chicken teriyaki on a stick, some fried pork dumplings that were 300% more doughy than any dumpling I've ever encountered before, a pork and shrimp Dim Sum concoction, and everybody's favorite traditional Chinese delicacy, cheese nuggets.

But the highlight was the Dragon Roll. Tug pointed to it and asked me what was in it. “Dragon,” I said.

Nick countered, “I think it's actually imitation dragon meat. Like K-Rab.”

“You mean it's Dee-Ragon?,” I asked.

“Yeah,” confirmed Nick.

Plates two and three were entrees. Like the appetizer selection, pretty much all the usual Chinese buffet suspects are present and accounted for. Your General Tso, your sesame chicken, your lo mein and fried rice, etc. And each one tasted about like they taste at every other Chinese buffet -- vaguely Asian with only slight variation in flavor from dish to dish. Which is exactly what we were in the mood for, even if it doesn't sound as good when you spell it out like that, though.

I should note that King Buffet does have two items I hadn't seen elsewhere.

House Special Chicken: I liked this quite a bit. Mostly because it had mushrooms in it, not because it tastes any different than anything else on the buffet.
Peanut Butter Chicken: First bite was awesome. Second bite less so. After the third bite, I never wanted to taste this again. Do not put more than two bites of this on your plate.

King Buffet also has sushi. Now I like sushi and everything, and this sushi looked fine, but buffet sushi, uh, well...thank you, but no. Yet between that and the soft taco -- technically more of a tiny burrito, I believe -- I probably should've braved the sushi. The soft taco tasted like it came out of a can.

Again, all we were looking for was fried in sauce, so barring my third bite of Peanut Butter Chicken and that soft taco, as buffets go this wasn't bad. Perhaps even slightly above average, thanks to the Dragon Roll and the mushrooms in the House Special Chicken. Although there weren't any Chinese donuts, and that totally blows.

Maybe it's a Japanese buffet after all.

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1601 West 23rd Street | Lawrence, KS 66046

Los Corrals

2009-11-04T14:22:00.009-06:00

Next door to The Peanut. Which is why I've never been before.

Years. It’s taken years for me to finally check out Los Corrals, because every time I intended to go I'd stop one storefront short, getting lured in by The Peanut and its promise of delicious bar food and sketchy service. Trust me, if you don’t have your heart 100% set on Mexican, it's easy to get caught in The Peanut's siren song.

This time, backed up by some encouraging reviews and a desire to blaze new ground, I joined fellow lunchophiles Caitlin and Wells for our inaugural Los Corrals visit. But just to be safe, we approached from the east to avoid any last-minute temptation from its neighbor.

My buddies went inside as I snapped a photo, and had already been seated when I entered the modest lobby. Trekking forward into the restaurant to look for them, I noticed that Los Corrals appears to infinitely expand into a series of increasingly larger dining rooms.

At last I found my group in the third room, although I couldn't help but wonder how much further Los Corrals went back. Like if deep within the catacombs, there's a Grail knight patiently awaiting his taco platter.

Service is fast here, and soon we were munching on the complimentary chips and salsa, with an order of cheese dip on the way. The chips are deep yellow and thicker than most, and they carry an almost meaty taste, which I can only guess is infused from being fried with the tacos and whatnot. Wells was a big fan, but both Caitlin and I were less enthusiastic. She thought they were overcooked and I was put off by the over-crunchiness that makes them hard to bite into. The cheese dip was fine, just unremarkable.

Speaking of cheese, they really load you up -- and it’s more of a Velveetaish consistency. Good in moderation. Much less so in excess.

We ordered right down the dinner combo plate menu 1-2-3, each option coming in under $8. Wells went with the two taco and two enchilada combo, and Caitlin with the taco, enchilada, soupy beans and rice plate. I liked the sound of the taco, enchilada, quesadilla and chalupa plate -- seemed like it would be a huge bargain and a chance to try a good variety.

How disappointed I was when I found out that the difference between a quesadilla and a chalupa is that the oversized corn nacho gets splashed with cheese dip rather than a layer of beans and lettuce. The enchilada was alright. However, the entire plate was redeemed by the taco.

I wasn’t expecting much, but when I took a bite, I had to pause and look for the cheese dip I could have sworn I was tasting in there. Nope, it was just beef -- fantastically greasy beef with great sauce snuggled up in a crispy shell. If I go back, I’m getting all tacos.

In fact, this experience opened me up to making tacos my usual at various other Mexican restaurants, instead of my standard go-to of enchiladas. I've yet to find one with the delicious initial impact of Los Corrals, but rest assured, I’ll keep looking.
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409 West 9th Street | Kansas City, MO 64105

Sullivan's

2009-10-29T13:19:00.005-05:00

A mere 20 miles away from 18th & Vine, yet worlds apart.

Seeing as how Sullivan's was way too busy for our taste when we tried to do a Guys' Night there on one Thursday last August, we decided to give it a shot on a Wednesday this time around. Sure, Sullivan's seems a bit fancy for the likes of us, but the bar menu has some relatively cheap options, and there was one in particular that we were determined to check out -- Bleu Cheese Chips. Your Lunch Bloggers are total sluts for stinky cheese.

The patio was full-up when we got there, so Shaw, Dorsett, Voytek and I took a seat in the bar area, which features live jazz seven nights a week. Failing to find any beers we could get excited about from the Sullivan's selection, we sucked it up and ordered a round of expectedly overpriced Miller Lites. Meanwhile, tonight's entertainment was playing the world's most boring version of “Oye Como Va” ever.

Half an hour later, a table on the patio opened up and we moved outside where we had some Manhattans that turned out to be fairly decent. Nearby there was a really tan over-50 guy in pink pants, buying bottle after bottle of champagne for three twentysomething girls.

I'm not judging. If you're over 50, and can afford to splurge on bottles of champagne for some hot young things, I say do it. It may not even be as expensive as I think, since I doubt you have to buy the good stuff. This is the kind of lifestyle Shaw should aspire to, pink pants and all.

Food-wise, we had a good feeling about Sullivan's. The Pitch named it Kansas City's Best Steakhouse in this year’s Best Of issue, and although we were planning on ordering exclusively off the bar menu, that's still a pretty good endorsement for the kitchen staff. Here’s what we got:

Bleu Cheese Chips -- As noted, these were what we really wanted to try, and hands down they were the big winner. The skillet chips were satisfyingly crunchy with the perfect thickness, and absolutely smothered in bleu cheese.

Gnocchi -- If there’s gnocchi on the menu, I’m going to order it, and this wild mushroom and spinach version was delicious. Lots of parmesan, too. I could've eaten this as an entree.

Tavern Sliced Steak -- Served with sauteed spinach and a mushroom butter sauce, it's the flavors of the gnocchi in steak form. Good, but I would've preferred to just have more of the gnocchi.

Firecracker Shrimp -- Allegedly spicy, these fried popcorn shrimp were an epic fail. I was promised a taste explosion as big as an M-80. These were more like black snakes.

The food notwithstanding, this isn't a place I'd want to hang out at. Despite the fact it's a chain, Sullivan's seems so totally Johnson County Whitebread that it's inconceivable it could exist anywhere else. Supposedly Sullivan's is modeled in the vein of a 1940's Chicago-style steakhouse, but overall the vibe is more like smooth jazz elevator music.

There's a mural near the top of the wall that runs around the length of the bar area featuring scenes of jazz guys playing their instruments, and the quality of the art is roughly that of 10 for $10 souvenir t-shirts. It's like going to The Max from Saved By the Bell, after the set had been dressed up to look jazz by somebody that had heard of jazz without ever actually hearing jazz.

Our Sullivan's experience came down to this -- there are a couple of good things on the bar menu, and while the beers are pricey, they're not outrageously disproportionate to anything else in the Town Center vicinity. But if it's atmosphere you're looking for, Sullivan’s is about as jazz as Chuck E. Cheese is punk.

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4510 West 119th Street | Leawood, KS 66209

Blame It On Cain’s (Tulsa Road Trip 9/09, Part 3)

2009-10-08T11:16:00.002-05:00

Never say die.

Whataburger

Robert: As previously recounted, I'm a Whatafarm veteran, but Shaw, Jeff and Ryan had never tackled one -- so before embarking upon the arduous drive home, we headed to Whataburger.

Shaw: In preparation, I drew up a new Whatafarm diagram that included the full complement of Whataburger toppings. We figured giving them that would be easier than saying “I want a burger -- add chicken, bacon, fried egg and anything else you can throw on there.”

Robert: Except fish. No fish.

Shaw: Spirits were high as we pulled into the parking lot, even though the Whataburger that Ryan's GPS led us to seemed a little sketchy. Chatting about the domination soon to be taking place, we ran into one of the managers walking to her car, and showed her the diagram to confirm we weren't going to get any static. Impressed yet also clearly relieved that she was now off duty, she said making us Whatafarms shouldn't be a problem -- and then promptly sped away.

Once inside, following Robert's pre-established protocol, I stepped up to the counter, looked the employee dead in the eye, slid the diagram across the counter and said, “We'd like four of these, please.”

Robert: Your form was 100% correct. For the life of me, I can't figure out what it was that threw this particular Whataburger into total chaos.

Shaw: The diagram caused much commotion and umpteen looks of horror. Eventually every Whataburger staffer was up at the counter. All except one.

They took our diagram to the back, and a couple of minutes later a guy -- I'm not sure if he was the head manager or what -- emerged and said, “I'm sorry, we can't make that.”

Robert: Whaa? Excuse me? What do you mean? You can't? Or you won't?

Shaw: We asked for an explanation, and he just repeated, a little more sternly I might add, “I'm sorry, sir. We can't make that.”

Robert: Come on! It’s not like it's made out of unicorn! You've got everything you need right there!

Shaw: At this time, I will point out the irony of the current Whataburger campaign: “Customize Your Burger.”

Robert: So we did the only logical thing. We piled back into the car and went in search of another Whataburger.

Shaw: There was some anxiety in the air, since we were running out of time before 11:00, when breakfast hours end and you can't get a fried egg anymore. The egg is critical to the equation! If you don't get an egg, then you're just some jerk with a fried chicken-burger-bacon-cheese sandwich.

Turned out there was no need to worry -- this location looked like the crown jewel of the Whataburger empire, and when we showed the crew what we wanted, they were excited to join us on our adventure. They even asked if they could make a copy of our diagram.

Robert: Not to mention they gave us free fountain drinks after hearing the sordid tale of how we were turned away at the other Whataburger.

Shaw: When our four Whatafarms arrived, the table supports audibly creaked. This thing is just as much of a beast as you think it is.

The first bite is almost overwhelming, a dancing assortment of flavor, but thanks to a sound structure the Whatafarm quickly settles into a nice balance. About halfway through, I started slowing down. By the end I had a little sweat going, yet I still powered through and finished proud. Also a little regretful, but mostly proud.

Robert: Indeed, I'm proud to report that we all finished our Whatafarms. As we were wrapping up, the general manager came over and chatted with us for a couple of minutes. He apologized again for our experience at the sketchy Whataburger, and gave us kudos on our refusal to give up on a dream.

While I don't know if he'd want to see his name on Lunch Blog or not, it must be said that Whataburger #303's general manager deserves a raise, a promotion to corporate and full access to the Whatajet, which I'm not sure is a real thing but if it isn't it certainly should be. Whataburger bigwigs, please email me and we can let you know who your #1 employee is and sing his praises even more.

Shaw: Everything about the food and service here was topnotch -- I couldn't be happier with the experience. It'll be awhile before I need another Whatafarm, though. Next time, I'll have to try something from the regular menu.

Robert: You should. I'd say Whataburger serves the best fast food burgers around, but to me they actually taste a step above fast food.

Smokey Ben's

Shaw: Four hours later, we stopped for barbecue. That was a truly awful idea.

Robert: Jeff, Ryan and I -- or maybe it was just me -- really wanted Hot Momma's. They're these little spicy sausages we got here on our last Tulsa road trip. One or two of them would have been a fine afternoon snack.

Shaw: But we also got ribs.

Robert: We should not have gotten ribs. They were fine, but four hours after a Whatafarm, we should not have gotten ribs.

Ill-conceived barbecue pit stop notwithstanding, it was an awesome trip. And now I'm ready to go back for another show at Cain's Ballroom. Who's up for Drive-By Truckers? How about Hank III?

Little bit of bad news, though, guys -- we totally missed the Hanson show.

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The good Whataburger, not the sketchy one:
4726 East 41st Street | Tulsa, OK 74135

Smokey Ben's:
610 West Mary Street | Yates Center KS 66783
(Although no matter where you may find yourself, if you want a Hot Momma bad enough, Smokey Ben's will magically appear.)